2010 Oscars Live Blog

Hey all... Here's the standard Oscar blog. I'm kicking it off by saying that Zach Efron is looking GOOD tonight. Kathy Ireland is easily the most awkward interviewer I've ever seen. Ever.

The 10 movies nominated for Best Picture debate has begun. I think it's good for the Oscar ratings, but some movies nominated get ridiculous. However, I really hate watching the Oscars when I haven't seen any of the movies nominated for big awards. Nonetheless, even with more movies nominated, I still have only seen 2 movies nominated, and only liked one of them. Kate Winslet's hair looks great, but I've seen her in better dresses. I absolutely adore her in everything.

Why are these Twilight assholes all over the place? This blatant pandering for ratings is offensive to me.
Show is starting. Preliminarily, let me say that I am ridiculously excited about Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin are hosting. I have a crush on Steve Martin, and I don’t even feel bad about it. He’s #2 on my old man crush list, second only to Harrison Ford.
NPH SURPRISE APPEARANCE! I simply cannot express how much I love him. Love his sparkly jacket. Love him singing. Love it all. Steve Martin’s glasses make him not as awesome, but I’d still do him. Meryl Streep burn. Awesome. This is digressing into awkwardness quickly, however. The blatantly awkward “oh look” is a kind of hilarious. Bringing up the Avatar-Hurt Locker ex-wife thing. Why are they sitting next to each other? They HATE each other.
Inglorious Basterds guy wins the supporting actor award. I’m sure he was wonderful, but I’m hesitant to be in favor of anything that makes Quentin Tarantino feel good about himself. Up wins best animated picture. Not shocking, and I in no way care. At least it led me to a Mr. Grant sighting. I love Mr. Grant.
Colin Farrel was in Crazy Heart? SINGING? INSTANTLY ADDING TO LIST OF MOVIES I WANT TO SEE. Writer just busted out “I love you more than rainbows.” Die. The intro to best screenplay with Tina Fey and Robert Downey Jr. is by far the most entertaining of the night. RDJ’s outfit is amazing.
John Hughes tribute. I’m foreseeing I’ll cry. I heart Matthew Broderick. Macaulay Culkin. Wow. He has grown to be a creepy adult. Shocking.
Break for the boring awards.
Sarah Jessica Parker’s hair looks ridiculous. It was pretty cute initially, but apparently got frizz sesh. Charlize Theron’s boob focus dress was a poor styling decision by all accounts.

Twilight kids. Ugh. Then salute to horror montage. LOVE. IT. Zac Efron is getting hella screen time. I must say that I am really excited to see “Me and Orson Welles” and for his legitimate acting career to take off. The sound editor from “The Hurt Locker” is horrifying.

John Travolta. In jeans. What an uber douche.

Demi Moore is here. I feel dead people montage. Ghost theme song. Swayze. James Taylor singing In My Life. Instantly choked up. Natasha Richardson is the one who officially gets me. Ugh. Interpretive dance montage. I’m sure this is all very impressive, but I’m calling it an awkward fail. God. This is way too long. This is an abortion. I'd rather watch the sci tech awards again than this dance montage. That's the problem w/ modern dance. It's all very pretty, but it never fits the music or the theme and just ends up making everyone uncomfortable.

JASON. BATEMAN!

Tyler Perry, please stop talking. Hurt Locker is taking a lot of the smaller awards from Avatar. Might bode well for best picture. As long as it’s not Avatar.

Who invited Keanu Reeves? Oh the “Point Break” bond with Bigelow. Pro. I literally cannot accurately capture my hatred of Quentin Tarantino in words. It’s unfortunate that he’s so talented when he’s so irritating.

The fellating of the best actor nominees has begun. I am tired. This needs to move on, even though I’m quite enjoying the close ups of the guys, and Colin Farrel. Jeff Bridges gets the W. Absolutely not surprised. I hope he accepts entirely as The Dude. I kind of want to see his movie now, but I probably won’t. I probably should have added Jeff Bridges to the list of famous people I want to hang out with.

Best actress montage. I actually am excited to see who this award goes to. Our hostess says “I hope the Precious chick wins, because she’ll never get the chance to win again.” Our hostess’ brother taking the late comer hilarity award of the night with the following gems... “Because she’ll be dead in an hour and a half? It’s tough to act when you’ve lost both your feet to diabetes. She’s so fat her eyes don’t open. She wins for attacking that trainer at Sea World last week.” Sandra Bullock is kind of a surprise, won’t lie. I might have to see The Blind Side. She wins the gracious speech award. Jesse James loses hella street cred for crying.

Finally best picture award. Just kidding. Best direction. DIAF, Oscars. It’s almost midnight, and I’m a tuckered out little lamb. Why is Barbara Streisand presenting this? Fail. Kathryn Bigelow wins… there’s an awkward “will he congratulate his ex wife?” moment with Cameron. If he does, it’s not caught on camera. Way to go Point Break director! OK. Enough. They need to get more dedicated to the “wrap it up” rule. This is getting ridiculous.

Tom Hanks is here, so I’m hoping THIS is actually best picture. Hurt Locker wins again. Congrats. Suck it James Cameron. I’m going home.

Good night, ya’ll!

WORLDS... WILL... COLLIDE...

I think they need to ask me to star in this movie, and the above should be the tagline. Just saying. Somepeopleknit's favorite unicorn rider has signed on to play the lead in the...

wait for it...

SMURFS. MOVIE.

Via JustJared.com - "Neil Patrick Harris will star in the forthcoming Smurfs: The Movie!" Read more at http://justjared.buzznet.com/2010/03/04/neil-patrick-harris-lands-lead-in-smurfs-the-movie/.

Further reading leads me to believe this movie will be TERRIBLE, but I in no way care. Not terrible enough for me not to dress up as a Smurf, spike a blue ICEE with some form of liquor, and terrify small children in the theater on opening night. HEART YOU NPH!