Guest entry #1, Kanye response... UPDATED

Below is a response from a first-time contributor, CaliCoop. This has not been edited or toned down upon reciept. It is probably in everyone's best interest not to mess with her. You'll see...

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First, I’d like to thank Smurftastic for allowing me to guest blog on this particularly poignant topic. Now onto the goods …

Dear Kanye:

While I’d certainly be glad to admit that your first two albums weren’t the most horrible things ever to grace my inner ear, this will be a far cry from pointing out just your amazing fall from fame … although I must point out your free fall on Forbes Most Powerful Celebrities List from 27 in 2008 to 46 in 2009, while Taylor has gone from unranked to 69. Whether you are a country music fan or not the presence of Taylor Swift in music is undeniable. No album has had the staying power on the Billboard 200 for more weeks since 1999-2000 (years before Kanye released his first album) than Taylor’s Fearless album. Her second album, Fearless, recorded the largest opening in 2008 for ANY female artist, and only fourth behind Lil’ Wayne, AC/DC and Coldplay … again, no Kanye. Not to mention she is absolutely adorable and much too young to have to deal with some douche bag stealing her thunder.

Just because your music sucks and no one gives a flying sh*t if you live to make another song or not does not mean you need to ruin everyone else’s life in the meantime. Some musicians are STILL actually making good music … deal with it! And what kind of prick ruins a 19 year old girl’s first VMA Award EVER!?! You strut around acting like you are some kind of charitable person minus your outrageous tirades and obvious inability to accept others, when in fact the charity that you yourself started in the name of your mother you have donated less than a million dollars to … when you make over 25 MILLION DOLLARS A YEAR?! What kind of cheap bastard are you?!

With that, I’ll end with this for now … you are and forever will be #1 on my die in a fire list until you somehow make amends for your absolutely outrageous conduct and by no means does posting some half-hearted apology on your blog count towards anything. You are scum of the earth and the reason why there is still so much hatred towards people that are different, if you are so full of yourself that you are incapable of politely sitting in your seat while a 19 year girl accepts her first VMA I truly hope you are never in a position to need any kind of assistance or acceptance by someone who finds you different, because it is at that moment you MAY realize the ignorance and absolute ridiculousness of your ways and actually become a real man, until then find the nearest bridge and take a jump … no one will miss your tirades and your best music is already left for those of us who can still stand the sound of your voice to enjoy.

Thanks very much,
CaliCoop

PS - and how could I forget … why is it after failing to win a VMA for yourself in 2006 and 2007 and vowing to never return to the VMAs ever again are you still back every year?! Is it because you are such a bitter jerk that you have stooped to the level of raining on the parade of those actually talented enough to win?! Or possibly that even though you’ll never actually win yourself, especially because your albums are now a shameful excuse for music, you love the possibility of even a second of air time even on an overhead shot of the audience because you’re a total attention whore whose music has failed to satisfy his thirst for publicity for years now. Oh why on earth could we have not been so lucky for you to have actually kept your promise …