The BBCS part Thrice!!!

Ok, for all those who missed me... I'm back to finish up these BBCS updates. So far we've learned about the abbreviators and the dudes w/ numbers in their names, and for lack of a better way to categorize... I give you.... BOY BANDS LEFT IN THE BBCS UP THROUGH THE LETTER M.

The Beatles:

• Strength of Schedule 4 - not exactly primo time for Boy Bands between 1960 and 1970... but probably the strongest musical era of all time.
• Overcoming adversity 3 - lost their original drummer and had to pick up a dude named Ringo. Lots of drugs, fighting and Yoko. Problem is, they didn't really overcome that adversity well... they broke up. Yoko sucks. Anway... they were only around for 10 years, and the world needed them for much longer; Plus, in the 80s... Michael Jackson bought the rights to almost all their songs. And now is crazy. Good times
• Album Sales 5 - still destroying the charts even after two of them are dead.
• Tour/Merchandise 4 - didn't tour after August 29, 1966... just made AMAZING studio albums. Still selling merchandise like crazy though, although didn't really have marionette dolls while they were alive (ahem, NSYNC)
• Artistic Performance 5 - probably the greatest band of all time as far as being creative and unique with their music but still selling TONS of albums. Extra points for Sgt. Pepper's and the White Album for creative covers and fun outfits
• Alumni Success 4 - John was quite successful with solo albums till some crazy dude shot him, Ringo made country albums, George made stuff about being Hindu and awesome, and Paul had Wings (subpar... but still not too shabby), amazing live albums, and Heather Mills being a whorebag and divorcing him. They will still always be "The Beatles," and never as successful apart as they were together... but not too bad if you can get it.
• USA Today/Coaches Poll 5 - Smurftastic's favorite band of all time... she judges all those who say they don't like the Beatles, and also doesn't understand you.
• Miscellaneous 4 - fewer points here cause they aren't really a boy band... they are too awesome. And one of the few bands who was ever able to truly outgrow the bubble gum pop phase and still be successful. However, get kid points: Julian Lennon shares Smurftastic's bday, and Stella McCartney is one of her favorite fashion designers.
• Post-success nostalgia 5 - its the Beatles for crappsakes. All you have to do is look at the success of their compilation albums (Anthology, 1, among others) and their new Vegas show. They are the shit and a half.

Total Score - 38

Boyzone:

• Strength of Schedule 3 - around 1993-2000... so the tail end of NKOTB/Boyz II Men era and the beginning of the NSYNC era
• Overcoming adversity 3 - from Ireland, not exactly known as a hotbed of musical activity, Stephen Gately came out of the closet, and his boyfriend's name was Eloy de Jong (ridiculous), and he was a Dutch boyband singer
• Album Sales 2 - apparently their first four albums went to #1 in the UK. Also have a bunch of compilation CDs... Smurftastic cannot name a single song of theirs.
• Tour/Merchandise 2 - apparently sold out a tour (35,000 tickets in Ireland) in less than 4 hours. But no idea anything about merchandise
• Artistic Performance 1 - no idea at all... assuming artistic performance was minimal because their name was non-creative
• Alumni Success 2 - one of them has a solo career, the gay one does well in West End musicals, one is a music producer, one is on a British soap opera, and one was on "Celebrity Love Island"... Smurftastic still doesn't know any of their names off hand
• USA Today/Coaches Poll 2 - Smurftastic has only heard of them, not any of their songs or names.. but Mama Smurftastic LOVES whatever Boyzone song they played on her light rock radio station
• Miscellaneous 1 - Colin Farrel tried out to be in the Band and didn't make it!!!!! Young female celebs he devirginized say "thank you."
• Post-success nostalgia 1 - none.

Total Score: 17

Backstreet Boys

• Strength of Schedule 5 - around during the boy band explosion of the late 90s
• Overcoming adversity 3 - one of their members was named Howie. Otherwise, not that cute... and weren't very good dancers. Also, were put together by captain creep (Lou Pearlman) himself
• Album Sales 4 - Wikipedia estimates that they have sold over 100 million albums worldwide. However, their first week sales were DESTROYED by a certain awesome band (NSYNC)
• Tour/Merchandise 4 - Apparently sold over 1 million tickets to their Black & Blue tour in 24 hours. HOWEVER, Smurftastic went to one of their earlier shows. Garbage. They tried to be cool w/ a circular stage, but Howie was on her side the entire time. Plus Kevin had a piano that dropped from the ceiling. Cheesy. Big merchandise sales, though. Wikipedia says that over $14 million in merchandise was sold during their 1999 tour, and have sold over 200 million books.
• Artistic Performance 4 - their slower songs were (admittedly) better than NSYNC, and their vocal talents were greater... but they weren't as good at the fun beats and the dancing. Plus lacking a bit of personality, if you ask Smurftastic.
• Alumni Success 3 - got back together after Nick Carter put out a rock solo album (haha). Nick and his family had a show on E! about their dysfunction. Kevin has since left the band to perform in musicals. AJ went to rehab. Wikipedia says a new album is going to be released in July.
• USA Today/Coaches Poll 4 - despite the NSYNC Loyalties... Smurftastic can't really hate on BSB. Their earlier albums were decent, even though the concert was subpar... she's a fan.
• Miscellaneous 3 - Special thanks to Nick Carter for getting famous and opening the door to a certain someone named Aaron Carter, who gifted the world with such musical gems as "Come Get It" and "That's How I Beat Shaq": he even sang a song and did a video with his brother. HILARIOUS. Also, "The Perfect Fan" is an adorable mother's day song. Also... please enjoy this excerpt from the Wikipedia page: - "In 2000, the Backstreet Boys teamed with Stan Lee to produce a Web-based franchise named The Backstreet Project which chronicled the adventures of the Backstreet Boys as cyber-crusaders. The project debuted as a limited-edition collector's comic book that was sold exclusively at Backstreet Boys concerts. The animated series was launched on the Web in the summer of 2000 using Macromedia Flash animation and was sold out on the first day." - BAAAAhahahahahahahaha
• Post-success nostalgia 4 - awwwwwww... remember the "Thriller"-like dance to Everybody (Backstreet's Back) and that one video at the airport to the song that didn't really make sense???? Good times.

Total Score - 34

Color Me Badd

• Strength of Schedule 3 - around in the early 90s... had to deal w/ NKOTB and Boyz II Men, but that's about it
• Overcoming adversity 3 - for starters, their name was Color me Badd. Also they were pretty unfortunate looking.
• Album Sales 1 - had one major hit (featuring "I Wanna Sex You Up" and other big singles), but other than that, not too much
• Tour/Merchandise 1 - nothing on Wikipedia about any tour or merchandise. Don't think Smurftastic's sister ever saw them in concert, and that's about the time frame.
• Artistic Performance 2 - artistry really present only in the name here, and provocative lyrics. Because telling a girl you want to Sex her up is clearly the best way to get into her pants. Lieutenant Andy Baldwin probably used that line on Bevin.
• Alumni Success 1 - HA you've GOT to be kidding. One is an insurance agent, one married an American Idol contestant, and one was apparently on the VH1 reality show "Man Band"
• USA Today/Coaches Poll 1 - only funny for their name and HORRIBLE song
• Miscellaneous 2 - Billboard apparently says they are the 7th most successful band of the nineties, won some American Music Awards
• Post-success nostalgia 3 - thank YOU "Dick in a Box"

Total Score - 17

Dreamstreet
Instead of giving you actual information about this band, Smurftastic is instead tempted to just use the first line of the Wikipedia entry to give them a score of one: The group was initially put together by producers Louis Baldonieri and Brian Lukow and titled 'Boy Wonder', it featured several 11-14 year old boys from the New York Broadway/Acting scene. To be fair, however..... let's give them a real ranking

• Strength of Schedule 4 - Only around for 4 years... but during, again, the NSYNC BSB era
• Overcoming adversity 2 - their original name was "Boy Wonder." Enough said. The boys also sued their producers and won... but then were NEVER allowed to perform together again. The listeners are CLEARLY the losers in that situation.
• Album Sales 1 - Gold albums are for the weak
• Tour/Merchandise 1 - no info on Wikipedia
• Artistic Performance 1 - HA! Seriously??? Their biggest market was Nickelodeon commercials and radio Disney
• Alumni Success 2 - Jesse McCartney had a REALLY ANNOYING song and was on some WB show that my female roommates used to like. The rest of the guys... apparently you can find their solo music on their myspace pages... SCORE
• USA Today/Coaches Poll 1 - because Smurftastic feels bad about giving zeros, especially when she has NO IDEA about any of the songs these guys sing.
• Miscellaneous 1 - Broadway background???? Whatever.
• Post-success nostalgia 1 - Nope. If any of the readers really remember them... I almost feel bad for you. And I'M the loser blogging about boy bands in the first place

Total Score: 14

Hanson

• Strength of Schedule 5 - according to Wikipedia have been around since 1992... so lived through both the NKOTB and the end of Boyz II Men era AND NSYNC and BSB eras... good job guys
• Overcoming adversity 3 - well were pretty awkward. And brothers. And sang the song MMM Bop. By choice. Clearly adversity if I've ever seen it
• Album Sales 3 - their first album went platinum four times, one other platinum album and a gold album... plus at least 3 others on the charts
• Tour/Merchandise 2 - in 98... had an apparently successful tour called the Albertane tour. Also lots of unauthorized books sold. Smurftastic kind of recalls there being dolls... but no guarantees; could just be a hallucination
• Artistic Performance 3 - played their own instruments... seemed to spend quite a bit of time growing their hair.
• Alumni Success 1 - still together. The middle one got married really young. Smurftastic had no idea that either of the last two albums existed.
• USA Today/Coaches Poll 2 - Smurftastic is embarrassed to admit it... but she really enjoyed the This Time Around album
• Miscellaneous 1 - May 6, 1997, was declared 'Hanson Day' in Tulsa by Oklahoma's then-governor . Thank YOU Wikipedia
• Post-success nostalgia 2 - at one point (aka college) MM Bop was PRETTY hilarious when it came on when we were all wasted at some sort of theme party. Then we felt bad about it.

Total Score: 22

Menudo

• Strength of Schedule 4 - 1977-1996... Around for a long time. Extra points just for that.
• Overcoming adversity 3 - Boys replaced as soon as they turned 16. Most of them were probably even too young to bang groupies. Ouch.
• Album Sales 3 - almost 37 albums listed on Wikipedia. WOW...
• Tour/Merchandise 3 - "The Brazilian tour in 1985 was really successful, with more than a million fans, mostly teen girls, attending, but it was poorly organized. In a concert in Rio de Janeiro, the capacity was 60,000 but 70,000 tickets were sold and two women died. In São Paulo, a 100,000 capacity stadium was sold-out with 200,000 people. And in a stadium in Campinas, a city of São Paulo, it rained and the concert was delayed for 4 hours. In Fortaleza, the group had the same number of police around them as the Pope, when he visited the city." - Thanks for the info, Wikipedia
• Artistic Performance 1 - booo... just boy bands... No real dancing. Lots of skipping, methinks
• Alumni Success 3 - Ricky Martin. Got hot candle wax dripped on him. Danced. A lot. NICE. Apparently MTV Tres is holding auditions this year for the new members
• USA Today/Coaches Poll 1 - Smurftastic was probably too young to fully appreciate Menudo. She also doesn't speak spanish.
• Miscellaneous 1 - changed their name to MDO in 1997. Should maybe have been included in the abbreviators
• Post-success nostalgia 2 - Menudo as a whole is pretty hilarious. Once saw the older members reunite on Regis and Kelly. Pretty awkward/hilarious

Total Score: 21

The Moffats

• Strength of Schedule 2 - have been around since 1990, but rode the book boy band popularity of the late 90s to pop stardom
• Overcoming adversity 1 - although some would say the fact they are Canadian is adversity... but they are wrong
• Album Sales 1 - Wikipedia doesn't even have a website on them... so probably, not.
• Tour/Merchandise 1 - please see above
• Artistic Performance 1 - Ha!
• Alumni Success 1 - No idea. At. All.
• USA Today/Coaches Poll 0 - the name the Moffats always reminds Smurftastic of Mullets. She wishes they had mullets, because writing about them would be more interesting
• Miscellaneous 2 - the band was made up of a big brother, and then triplet brothers. Triplets are pretty rare... worth a couple of points
• Post-success nostalgia 1 - does anyone really remember them??? Anyone???

Total Score: 10

The Monkees

• Strength of Schedule 3 - around from 65-70... same time as Jackson 5, British invasion, and 60s pop explosion
• Overcoming adversity 3 - always considered a Beatles knockoff... but there are worse things to be thought of as... plus John Lennon was a fan; also they wanted to be able to play their own instruments, but their producers wouldn't let them.
• Album Sales 4 - quite a few number one and top 5 albums
• Tour/Merchandise 2 - toured quite a bit, but had to use guest musicians, and when they tried to play themselves, it was awkward
• Artistic Performance 3 - didn't really have a lot of power over their own music, but still had some coordinated swaying, and that's always good times.
• Alumni Success
• USA Today/Coaches Poll 5 - Smurftastic considers the Monkees an official guilty pleasure. Much like all boy bands. Plus the brady bunch episode was hilarious
• Miscellaneous 4 as mentioned above, Davy Jones was on the Brady Bunch. And in the Brady Bunch movie. Plus they wore ridiculous 60s clothes. Good times.
• Post-success nostalgia 4 VHI had a Monkees TV show marathon, and it got awesome ratings. Go figure.

Total Score: 28

Bachelor BlogFest... THE FINALE

So here we are, back for the final episode of this exceedingly dull season of the Bachelor, "Officer and a Gentleman." To recap... Tessa (Smurftastic's preseason MVP) and Bevin are the two women left. They will go meet Andy's parents and then have one more date before he gives the final rose and an engagement ring to one lucky lady in Hawaii. We decided to do one more blogfest, even though the episode's haven't given us much to work with.

After some flashbacks of Tessa and Bevin's "Journeys", we get to meet Andy's family - Mom, Dad, Grandpa, Grandma, and sister.

blnd44illini (9:07:16 PM): GODDAMMIT i hate flashbacks
DJvictoriousT (9:07:41 PM): do you see him sucking in the stomach!
DJvictoriousT (9:07:45 PM): priceless!
blnd44illini (9:08:16 PM): chris harrison is merely reminding me how much i hate bevin
DJvictoriousT (9:09:34 PM): do you think that andy wears an ear piece so the producers can tell him what to say?
blnd44illini (9:10:28 PM): if andy wears an ear piece, chris harrison's preschool aged son is behind the mike
blnd44illini (9:06:22 PM): and the ugly sister trend continues, it appears
DJvictoriousT (9:12:13 PM): i think he just tackled his grandfather
Jeflow1 (9:13:23 PM): andy get your hand off your mother's knee
Jeflow1 (9:13:31 PM): it's weirding me out

Tessa arrives to meet the famliy:

Jeflow1 (9:14:58 PM): poor pap just wanted to do his crossword puzzle
blnd44illini (9:15:38 PM): judging by Andy's level of intelligence, I'm not sure that Pap can read enough to do a crossword
Jeflow1 (9:15:47 PM): what's a five letter word for a whore who gets married while still in high school
blnd44illini (9:16:08 PM): B... E... V.... I... N?????
DJvictoriousT (9:16:08 PM): sodoku then. my grandfather just puts random numbers in and hopes that it works out
DJvictoriousT (9:20:05 PM): there's alot of teeth in the room right now
DJvictoriousT (9:20:39 PM): pap says "viable candidate" - she's in!
DJvictoriousT (9:23:28 PM): sister's hair is not the right dyed shade of red
blnd44illini (9:23:34 PM): over/under on the sister being adopted?
blnd44illini (9:23:42 PM): also... nice brow dye job
DJvictoriousT (9:24:08 PM): sister also need a haircut

Bevin arrives to meet the family, who seemed to really enjoy Tessa. Bevin is explaining her social work about menopause and getting it on.

blnd44illini (9:14:08 PM): she would specialize in sexual dysfunction
Jeflow1 (9:14:10 PM): pap just woke up
DJvictoriousT (9:14:10 PM): oh bevin. thank you for existing
blnd44illini (9:14:49 PM): yo if bevin doesn't win, who's in for a "some people knit" produced online reality show... Bevin and Bruno Find Love
Jeflow1 (9:26:20 PM): pap is on the religous kick
blnd44illini (9:26:28 PM): ew and the "he's turned on" kick
DJvictoriousT (9:26:35 PM): for being so religous, pap is awfully horny
Jeflow1 (9:26:45 PM): pap wants to hit bevin
blnd44illini (9:26:56 PM): we all do... but in VERY different ways
Jeflow1 (9:28:35 PM): what's the "be high" faith that bevin is into?
blnd44illini (9:30:17 PM): and i hope grandpa gives her a crucifix
Jeflow1 (9:30:17 PM): when he hisses at her
Bevin brings Andy a bouquet. Smurftastic does not understand.
blnd44illini (9:32:53 PM): yes menopause... PLEASE help mom out w/ problems
DJvictoriousT (9:34:09 PM): amazing face shots
Andy attempts to explain to his family (and the rest of America) why he likes Bevin so much.
blnd44illini (9:34:46 PM): should we really be talking about that "electricity" w/ your parents?
blnd44illini (9:35:04 PM): "basically she put out before everyone else, mom"
blnd44illini (9:36:29 PM): grandma is a BIG fan
DJvictoriousT (9:36:58 PM): i wouldn't put it past bevin showing grandma a "good time" to get her vote
DJvictoriousT (9:37:12 PM): slideshow!
Jeflow1 (9:37:33 PM): little squirt
blnd44illini (9:37:44 PM): that's what she said
In Bevin's interview, she explains how she would LOVE to be a member of Andy's family:
Jeflow1 (9:39:09 PM): "I would love to be a Baldwin"
Jeflow1 (9:39:16 PM): try alec
Jeflow1 (9:39:20 PM): or billy
blnd44illini (9:39:22 PM): remember, that also includes stephen
blnd44illini (9:39:24 PM): eeeeew
DJvictoriousT (9:43:36 PM): i'm pretty sure grandpa has been jockeying for camera time all night
Grandpa explains that being turned on by Bevin is probably not the only thing that matters in choosing a wife:
blnd44illini (9:44:40 PM): being turned on is NOT what counts in jesus' eyes
Jeflow1 (9:45:05 PM): pap will slip and call gram "bevin" sometime tonight
Jeflow1 (9:46:07 PM): i wish pap would not say long and hard
Jeflow1 (9:47:05 PM): they're more concerned with finding sister a husband
Jeflow1 (9:47:20 PM): that's the next show
Jeflow1 (9:47:35 PM): "who wants to be miserable"

After the family meetings, Andy seems to be having a hard time picking between the two. We all understand. Tessa (normal) v. Bevin (CRAZY) is an extremely tough call for anyone.

blnd44illini (9:49:34 PM): my old roommate on Tessa and Andy: "its true...he's got some fire crotch business going on in the family...i would peace out at that point"

Andy takes Bevin on their last real date... the "suprise", in fact is not in his pants, but a helicopter ride. Bevin is inappropriately excited.

blnd44illini (9:53:30 PM): the giggling is out of control
DJvictoriousT (9:53:56 PM): she might be crying
blnd44illini (9:55:57 PM): is that keg beer?
blnd44illini (9:56:05 PM): cause i may be falling in love w/ andy all over again

Bevin brings a card and a gift.

blnd44illini (10:06:06 PM): BRIBERY
DJvictoriousT (10:06:31 PM): this is setting up to be a fanstastically entertaining nervous breakdown ala bevin
Jeflow1 (10:06:43 PM): she got the watch out of the lucky crane machine in the lobby
blnd44illini (10:06:59 PM): god even if he loves her the most he should dump her if only for the watchability
DJvictoriousT (10:07:00 PM): his veneers are out of control

Bevin tells Andy that she loves him, he says it back...

blnd44illini (10:07:39 PM): waaiiiiiiiit
blnd44illini (10:07:44 PM): he's not allowed to say i love you
Jeflow1 (10:07:49 PM): their noses may be a problem
Jeflow1 (10:08:16 PM): the kids could come out looking like Alf
Jeflow1 (10:08:59 PM): what was on his pants
Jeflow1 (10:09:04 PM): a wet spot
Jeflow1 (10:09:18 PM): i have to rewind
blnd44illini (10:09:22 PM): "little squirt"
Jeflow1 (10:10:33 PM): there was a definite discharge...and i don't mean fron the navy

After a private horseback riding date, Tessa also gives Andy a present with a long letter telling him how he feels. He breaks Smurftastic dating rule #2... NO CRYING UNLESS SPORTING EVENT OR DEATH IN THE FAMILY RELATED.

DJvictoriousT (10:18:18 PM): are these gifts required?
Jeflow1 (10:18:43 PM): bevin is going to win by a nose
blnd44illini (10:24:56 PM): waiiiiiiit.... ANDY CAN READ?????/
blnd44illini (10:26:27 PM): wait he says i love you twice?
blnd44illini (10:26:32 PM): that used to be against the rules
blnd44illini (10:27:26 PM): also... pic collage... NICE MOVE
Jeflow1 (10:27:26 PM): i'd rather have the lucky crane watch
Jeflow1 (10:28:04 PM): "where did you find all of these words..and what do they mean?"
DJvictoriousT (10:29:12 PM): i got nothing - i hope they give me some material in this final half hour
DJvictoriousT (10:29:15 PM): i'm counting on bevin
blnd44illini (10:29:30 PM): i'm now watching family guy "road to rhode island"

We are reminded how boring the Bachelor has been this season, as Andy goes ring shopping.

blnd44illini (10:31:27 PM): soooooo... back to bachelor...i really think i should go on this show
blnd44illini (10:31:36 PM): free booze for 6 weeks, and losing all respect for myself?
blnd44illini (10:31:38 PM): DONE AND DONE
DJvictoriousT (10:36:10 PM): andy really wants to get married
DJvictoriousT (10:36:32 PM): he has no idea what this woman is talking about
DJvictoriousT (10:36:48 PM): he would rather get matching diamond-encrusted dog tags
blnd44illini (10:36:49 PM): durrrrrrrrr this is shiny

Andy goes running to "think things over" aka give us more gratuitous shirtless shots... cause for being dull... he sure is hot.

Jeflow1 (9:06:54 PM): he makes all of his big decisions shirtless
blnd44illini (9:07:09 PM): who doesn't?

The women get all dolled up for one to get rejected, and one to get engaged... "and live their dream of marrying an officer and a gentleman"

DJvictoriousT (10:38:30 PM): tessa looks like a bridesmaid right now, not a bride
DJvictoriousT (10:38:40 PM): and bevin looks like a call girl
blnd44illini (10:39:06 PM): my mom officially hates bevin for the tatoo visible with the formalwear
DJvictoriousT (10:39:24 PM): unacceptable
DJvictoriousT (10:39:35 PM): this coming from one with multiple tattoos
blnd44illini (10:39:39 PM): but in an evening gown... probably not
blnd44illini (10:40:51 PM): mamma nick thinks she knows chris harrison from HGTV
blnd44illini (10:42:16 PM): yesssssssssssssss... chris harrison... host of designer's challenge

Bevin gets out of the limo first. Unless they are trying to trick us, this spells disaster for her

Jeflow1 (10:41:33 PM): no day in heaven with bevin...She'll be home by eleven
DJvictoriousT (10:45:10 PM): harrison looks like he's going to a funeral
Jeflow1 (10:46:17 PM): it's bevin's funeral
blnd44illini (10:46:22 PM): i can only hope
Jeflow1 (10:46:22 PM): she's done
DJvictoriousT (10:46:30 PM): she knows
DJvictoriousT (10:46:51 PM): ultimate bachelor twist - he proposes to both and they all move to utah

Bevin is dumped, of course... cries... a lot. Andy breaks rule #2 and cries again.

Jeflow1 (10:47:28 PM): bevin - you can still have chris
blnd44illini (10:48:10 PM): YESSSSSS preseason MVP gets the win
Jeflow1 (10:48:25 PM): that really helped toolbag now she looks like a racoon
blnd44illini (10:48:45 PM): chris LOVES that look
blnd44illini (10:49:41 PM): STOP CRYING
blnd44illini (10:49:43 PM): stop crying
blnd44illini (10:49:47 PM): i hate men who cry
blnd44illini (10:49:49 PM): HATE it
DJvictoriousT (10:50:06 PM): he's sensitive
Jeflow1 (10:50:17 PM): i'm not crying...there's something in my eye
Jeflow1 (10:50:34 PM): oh...i bet you meant andy
blnd44illini (10:50:54 PM): perhaps, bevin should not have given up the poon before she gave up her heart
Jeflow1 (10:51:09 PM): what do you mean you don't normally do that
DJvictoriousT (10:51:12 PM): why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?
DJvictoriousT (10:52:15 PM): i'm sure bevin's dad can help her get over this
blnd44illini (10:52:31 PM): my mom: "alright, get a grip, stop whining"

Tessa arrives to hear Andy's verdict:

DJvictoriousT (10:58:51 PM): i wonder how many times they shot his lines
DJvictoriousT (10:59:23 PM): i bet there's cue cards somewhere beind tessa's head
DJvictoriousT (10:59:44 PM): joan is SO not amused. totally over the officer and gentleman

Andy proposes, Tessa says yes... cheesiness ensues.

blnd44illini (11:00:47 PM): yo - what if she accepts the ring but not the rose
DJvictoriousT (11:00:54 PM): smart girl
blnd44illini (11:01:26 PM): THE DIP KISS not cheesy at all
blnd44illini (11:01:38 PM): AND THE THEME SONG - amazing
Jeflow1 (11:01:49 PM): hair behind the ear is his signature move
Jeflow1 (11:02:41 PM): no not the sweep off the feet move
blnd44illini (11:03:02 PM): she's wearing his dog tags
Jeflow1 (11:03:06 PM): so richard gere

Alright. The season of the Bachelor is officially over. Special thanks to DJ Victorious' uncle, my mom, and G spot for their help with this blogfest. "After the Final Rose" is on next week... but it probably won't be that exciting unless they bring back the drunk girl who fell off the chair in the first episode. She gave me such high hopes for the season.

Dancing with the Stars Finale tonight. Still waiting on a Justin Timberlake appearance to support Joey Fatone. Get excited.

A Non-Shit Talking Post

One of DJ Victorious's Top-10 favorite songs is "Hallelujah" - the Leonard Cohen masterpiece. This song has been covered and covered and covered again - and the covers rarely do the song justice (though there are a few - check out Rufus Wainright's version)

This coming Tuesday marks the release of a "new" Jeff Buckley CD and features his cover of "Hallelujah". It's goosebump inducing - utterly unbelievable.

CHECK IT OUT HERE - "Hallelujah", Jeff Buckley

OUTRAGE! a/k/a the Shamrock Shake Re-Do

I might be the world's biggest fan of the annual treat that is a McDonald's Shamrock Shake. The yummy, minty goodness with a tiny hint of citrus rocks my world every March. I was devestated to discover this past St. Patty's Day season that the NY-NJ franchises failed to acknowledge its existence I searched EVERYWHERE and was consistently met with the blank stare of the "friendly" cashier.

So I am particularly offended to find out that the Shamrock Shake has now been re-named the "Minty Mudbath" shake and it part of some Shrek promotion. WHAT!!!!!! Come on people. This is tradition!

Oh well. Even though I'm offended I pretty sure I'll still purchase at least 2 a week until the end of the promotion.

Bastards.

Bachelor Blogfest... HOMETOWN DATES

This week on the Bachelor, Andy goes to the hometowns of 4 women... Tessa, Bevin, Danielle and Amber

Your favorite bloggers at Some People Knit had a live chat w/ DJ Victorious' uncle to commemorate the occasion...

Jeflow1 (9:13:58 PM): Your Uncle is pouring himself a tall glass of cran grape juice before he starts his blog fest. I take no responsibility for what may transpire between the three of you

First of all... brief thoughts about Dancing with the Stars:

blnd44illini (9:01:44 PM): joey fatone = sex machine?
DJvictoriousT (9:02:52 PM): bruno like it!
blnd44illini (9:03:08 PM): bruno is super horny today
blnd44illini (9:05:16 PM): the billy ray ponytail scares teh hell out of me
DJvictoriousT (9:05:53 PM): he is so awkward it hurts to look at
blnd44illini (9:06:06 PM): i think i may vote for him
blnd44illini (9:06:11 PM): for amusement value alone
DJvictoriousT (9:06:21 PM): ewww
blnd44illini (9:07:21 PM): bruno needs to NOT hump the table anymore
blnd44illini (9:07:25 PM): just saying
DJvictoriousT (9:09:05 PM): dude - she just said billy ray was crap!
blnd44illini (9:09:18 PM): um billy ray has had his feelings hurt
blnd44illini (9:09:21 PM): i am officially voting for him
blnd44illini (9:09:25 PM): his heart is achy breaky
DJvictoriousT (9:09:33 PM): damn it! you beat me to it
DJvictoriousT (9:09:38 PM): too easy
DJvictoriousT (9:11:52 PM): jennifer love hewiit makes me want to punch her in the face
blnd44illini (9:14:05 PM): speaking of, i think we need to get some pre-game predictions for this evening
DJvictoriousT (9:14:47 PM): i think danielle is going down - mostly because i have no idea which one she is
blnd44illini (9:14:50 PM): i predict that laila's boobs may fall out
blnd44illini (9:14:58 PM): i think bevin is gone
blnd44illini (9:15:05 PM): i think final 2 amber and tessa
blnd44illini (9:15:11 PM): unless bevin puts out and gets freaky
DJvictoriousT (9:15:19 PM): bevin will definately put out
DJvictoriousT (9:15:40 PM): they have to stop panning to ali - i can't handle it
blnd44illini (9:15:43 PM): but it has to be freaky put out, not like regular put out - cause he can get regular sex from anyone
Jeflow1 (9:15:44 PM): bevin is glue
Jeflow1 (9:15:51 PM): with bad leg and all
blnd44illini (9:20:07 PM): ok so i think we have 3 votes for Bevin going down (in more ways than one)
blnd44illini (9:20:29 PM): and i think either Danielle or Amber... probably Danielle not getting a rose
DJvictoriousT (9:20:34 PM): i vote danielle too - mannish and she killed a dude
blnd44illini (9:20:55 PM): wait so are you saying that killing a dude is NOT the best way to snag a man?
blnd44illini (9:20:59 PM): well i'm screwed
DJvictoriousT (9:21:16 PM): carrie ann says appollo is "in it to win it"
DJvictoriousT (9:21:27 PM): in what? to win what?
blnd44illini (9:21:30 PM): well he IS a gold medalist
blnd44illini (9:21:34 PM): yeah what do the winners get?
blnd44illini (9:21:42 PM): except confirmation that they are washed up
Jeflow1 (9:24:15 PM): the guy from the rozerem commercial was just signed for the next season of dwts
Jeflow1 (9:25:07 PM): i say he picks the one that cries
Jeflow1 (9:25:19 PM): oh wait they all do
DJvictoriousT (9:25:43 PM): I love those quotes, like "i don't want to get my heartbroken". that makes sense then. that you go on national television to find a man to marry while competing against 19 other girls
DJvictoriousT (9:26:09 PM): no chance you'll get your heart broken
blnd44illini (9:27:21 PM): no its the safest way to find love. really. that's the only way i'll ever do it
blnd44illini (9:27:30 PM): don't tell... i'm actually the next bachelorette
blnd44illini (9:27:58 PM): ps - i voted for BILLY... TWICE
Jeflow1 (9:28:05 PM): nice pimp hat joey
Jeflow1 (9:28:11 PM): tool bag
blnd44illini (9:28:53 PM): THOU SHALT NOT HATE ON JOEY
Jeflow1 (9:29:17 PM): i didn't read all the rules
Jeflow1 (9:29:21 PM): my bad
DJvictoriousT (9:29:22 PM): sorry - i didn't warn you - n*sync shit-talking is not allowed
blnd44illini (9:29:30 PM): hahaha its ok
blnd44illini (9:29:37 PM): joey was always my least fave nsyncer
blnd44illini (9:29:44 PM): but we want him around so JT can show up at the finals
blnd44illini (9:31:03 PM): bring on andy... he's an officer and a gentleman... and he's looking for love

OK, now the show has actually started now...

blnd44illini (9:31:20 PM): i hope we get to see the KY intrigue commercial again
Jeflow1 (9:32:07 PM): i miss steph sc
blnd44illini (9:32:21 PM): perhaps cause she dresses like a whorebag?
DJvictoriousT (9:32:50 PM): push her off the ledge

We get to meet Danielle's father, who is rather socially awkward
Jeflow1 (9:33:14 PM): he looks like c3po
DJvictoriousT (9:34:30 PM): what makes andy more of douchebag: the car or the wide pin-striped suit?
blnd44illini (9:35:25 PM): i think its the clothes in general
blnd44illini (9:35:34 PM): remember the sweater in tahoe?
DJvictoriousT (9:35:40 PM): awful
DJvictoriousT (9:36:02 PM): andy just pulled the friend or life-long partner question regarding danielle
DJvictoriousT (9:36:03 PM): she's out
Jeflow1 (9:36:04 PM): no hips
DJvictoriousT (9:36:20 PM): = no children
Jeflow1 (9:36:21 PM): what swing sets are immature
Jeflow1 (9:36:55 PM): what does the tat say
blnd44illini (9:36:55 PM): CHICKS DIG SCARS
blnd44illini (9:37:00 PM): apparently as does andy
Jeflow1 (9:37:34 PM): i was once a man
DJvictoriousT (9:38:40 PM): jeff, can you imagine if i called you and caron and told you i was going to bring my bachelor television love interest and camera crew over to meet you
DJvictoriousT (9:39:03 PM): why are these families so serious?
blnd44illini (9:39:48 PM): well i would ask som pretty intense questions of the man trying to drive my daughter off into the sunset in a delorian

Andy arrives for Bevin's home town date... Smurftastic would like to reiterate how much she hates Bevin... and the awkwardness that resulted from watching Bevin's dad start to cry as soon as she walked in the door.

Jeflow1 (9:41:39 PM): she gets hit by the car on purpose
blnd44illini (9:41:50 PM): oh the leg wrap
blnd44illini (9:41:54 PM): she's not desperate at all
DJvictoriousT (9:42:09 PM): i'm in heaven when i'm with bevin - god he sucks
DJvictoriousT (9:48:33 PM): kelly ripa looks like a monster
blnd44illini (9:49:08 PM): not gonna lie - i enjoy that dress
blnd44illini (9:50:17 PM): ummmm crying father
blnd44illini (9:50:23 PM): this is awkward
Jeflow1 (9:50:25 PM): now we know where she gets it
Jeflow1 (9:50:34 PM): next he'll turn an ankle
DJvictoriousT (9:51:20 PM): with those genes she didn't have a chance
blnd44illini (9:51:27 PM): bevin's sister is by far the pretty one
Jeflow1 (9:52:38 PM): is that their house or an japanese steak house
blnd44illini (9:52:43 PM): good lord quit w/ the waterworks already
blnd44illini (9:52:59 PM): her dad is looking like he wants to make out w/ her
Jeflow1 (9:53:20 PM): for crying out loud
DJvictoriousT (9:53:26 PM): that was inappropriate hair caressing
Jeflow1 (9:53:36 PM): you'll always have your daddy
Jeflow1 (9:53:41 PM): freak
DJvictoriousT (9:54:00 PM): i really hope she put her dad up to this in order to get more camera time
DJvictoriousT (9:54:06 PM): to start her movie career of course
blnd44illini (9:54:35 PM): don't you have to be pretty and under 50 to be an actress?
Jeflow1 (9:55:18 PM): you kiss like my dad
Jeflow1 (9:56:07 PM): she should've closed her hand in the car door

Now Danielle (aka Dead Boyfriend Girl) hometown date

Jeflow1 (10:00:13 PM): a day in hell with danielle
blnd44illini (10:00:58 PM): be nervous cause you know everyone loves dead boyfriend the most
blnd44illini (10:01:07 PM): negative points - dog in sweater
blnd44illini (10:03:38 PM): so far we are 2 for 2 on sister's being cuter than the bachelorette
DJvictoriousT (10:04:02 PM): there's a reason the sisters aren't on a dating show
blnd44illini (10:04:14 PM): her mom has the smallest bottom half of a face
blnd44illini (10:04:19 PM): very kenny chesney like
DJvictoriousT (10:04:49 PM): danielle's dad may have been the one to kill her boyfriend because he kind of looks like a pathological killer
Jeflow1 (10:05:31 PM): it's a game of clue
bJeflow1 (10:05:44 PM): the dad in the basement with a drumstick
DJvictoriousT (10:09:57 PM): is this season of the bachelor boring because he sucks and has no personality?
blnd44illini (10:10:26 PM): yes - and none of the girls are really THAT crazy, they are a little crazy (ahem, Bevin) but not like trish crazy
blnd44illini (10:10:44 PM): remember trish?
DJvictoriousT (10:10:56 PM): trish was fantastic
Jeflow1 (10:11:16 PM): trish still may show up
blnd44illini (10:11:33 PM): just run in and give the girl a suplex at the final rose ceremony?
Jeflow1 (10:12:10 PM): step sister

Now we are at Tessa's hometown date, along with the family, her best friend Sam is here as well

Jeflow1 (10:14:16 PM): sam's trying to steal the show
Jeflow1 (10:14:26 PM): bitch
blnd44illini (10:14:27 PM): i bet they both tried out
DJvictoriousT (10:14:34 PM): the best friend addition is critical for effective interrogation
blnd44illini (10:14:39 PM): and sam didn't make ti cause she's a firecrotch
DJvictoriousT (10:14:41 PM): i bet sam is an expert cock-blocker
Jeflow1 (10:16:47 PM): how many of the rejects has chris nailed?
Jeflow1 (10:16:59 PM): all of them
blnd44illini (10:17:06 PM): he's married... but i'd set the percentage at about 57%
Jeflow1 (10:19:27 PM): sam has a who farted face
blnd44illini (10:19:38 PM): she who smelt it, dealt it
blnd44illini (10:21:54 PM): COME ON - preseason MVP... gettin' the family shoot down
DJvictoriousT (10:22:03 PM): this is why the hometown date is an essental element of the bachelor show
blnd44illini (10:22:37 PM): is it me or does she ALWAYS look terrified when she meets his eyes?
DJvictoriousT (10:22:54 PM): creepy upper arm grab/rub again
DJvictoriousT (10:22:57 PM): it's his power move
Jeflow1 (10:23:16 PM): he got it from bevin's dad

The rose ceremony preview??????

Jeflow1 (10:24:51 PM): they just gave us a huge clue on who goes home
Jeflow1 (10:25:01 PM): the person who goes will cry
Jeflow1 (10:27:14 PM): actually the sobbing sounded like chris
blnd44illini (10:27:33 PM): sounded like chris making moves on a desperate chick
Jeflow1 (10:27:59 PM): that was it
Jeflow1 (10:28:23 PM): he's in heavan with bevin
DJvictoriousT (10:28:59 PM): andy's a tool, for sure, and has bad veneers - but that was a nice arm shot

Now Amber's hometown date... her parents aren't on because they judge her for going on a dating show. I pretty much respect them for this. She takes him to the school where she teaches

blnd44illini (10:29:13 PM): the school PDAs are pretty inappropriate
DJvictoriousT (10:29:26 PM): WAY inappropriate
DJvictoriousT (10:29:41 PM): why subject these innocent children to this
blnd44illini (10:29:51 PM): i never hugged my teachers
Jeflow1 (10:30:03 PM): neither did i
Jeflow1 (10:30:22 PM): wait does the crossing guard count
DJvictoriousT (10:30:26 PM): gratuitous sing language interpreter shot
blnd44illini (10:31:47 PM): she should have passed him a note that said "do you like me? Yes. No. Maybe."
Jeflow1 (10:33:42 PM): let's see the roommate
DJvictoriousT (10:33:54 PM): my guess - cuter than amber
DJvictoriousT (10:34:09 PM): that seems to be the general trend
DJvictoriousT (10:34:25 PM): or wrong
blnd44illini (10:36:39 PM): i'm laying a rule out on the table: if i ever have a kid and they talk to me in text message format im pretty sure my beating the crap out of them should not be illegal
Jeflow1 (10:39:26 PM): a diver ...so am i
blnd44illini (10:39:43 PM): if you say muff... i'm going to be really upset
blnd44illini (10:39:48 PM): wow -that was inappropriate
DJvictoriousT (10:42:54 PM): the roommate looks like Janice from the Muppets
Jeflow1 (10:43:05 PM): i guess if can fall in love in a week... then the roomate can see the future in 10 minutes
Jeflow1 (10:44:40 PM): nice belt aunt lynn
blnd44illini (10:44:51 PM): did andy just give beer to the dog?
blnd44illini (10:44:56 PM): cause i fully approve of that
blnd44illini (10:45:06 PM): it may have almost negated the delorian
DJvictoriousT (10:46:09 PM): they are putting chris to work this season. he really has to make things sound unbelievable and dramatic to keep me tuned in
Jeflow1 (10:46:22 PM): caron says amber is gone
blnd44illini (10:48:31 PM): you know the bachelor is boring this season when I am checking NBA scores

Pre-rose ceremony commercial break:

blnd44illini (10:48:34 PM): EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
blnd44illini (10:48:38 PM): KY tingling?
blnd44illini (10:48:39 PM): really

Rose ceremony:

blnd44illini (10:49:18 PM): ok final predictions
blnd44illini (10:49:37 PM): i think bevin going home
DJvictoriousT (10:49:41 PM): bevin out
Jeflow1 (10:49:44 PM): bevin goes
DJvictoriousT (10:49:55 PM): danielle - no satin on TV

Tessa gets a rose:

blnd44illini (10:50:32 PM): preseason MVP
DJvictoriousT (10:50:35 PM): hooray!
DJvictoriousT (10:50:39 PM): can't wait to get that interview
blnd44illini (10:50:51 PM): i want to know where her sister gets her hair cut

Bevin gets a rose:

Jeflow1 (10:51:07 PM): wow
DJvictoriousT (10:51:07 PM): reeeeealllly
blnd44illini (10:51:07 PM): WHAAAAAAAAA?????????
Jeflow1 (10:51:17 PM): ankle seems fine
blnd44illini (10:51:23 PM): i'm still waiting on an "oh crap, never mind"
blnd44illini (10:51:31 PM): CHRIS purple shirting it again
blnd44illini (10:51:33 PM): i like

Danielle gets a rose... Amber is sent home:

blnd44illini (10:51:55 PM): OH SNAP
DJvictoriousT (10:51:56 PM): amber needs to stop tanning
Jeflow1 (10:52:15 PM): chris loves amber
Jeflow1 (10:52:26 PM): or he will be loving
blnd44illini (10:52:28 PM): he will after 10 mins in the limo
DJvictoriousT (10:52:43 PM): 10 minutes? that's all your giving chris?
blnd44illini (10:53:07 PM): well he has built up stamina after 10 seasons of this show
blnd44illini (10:53:27 PM): most amazing day of your life? really? your dog peed on the floor

blnd44illini (10:54:31 PM): dear amber,
Jeflow1 (10:54:37 PM): men lie
blnd44illini (10:54:40 PM): what men tell you in hot tubs is not always true
blnd44illini (10:54:42 PM): love,
blnd44illini (10:54:47 PM): somepeopleknit.blogspot.com
blnd44illini (10:54:50 PM): xoxo

DJvictoriousT (10:54:58 PM): amber - just leave
DJvictoriousT (10:55:38 PM): they should show this to high school girls in health class
blnd44illini (10:56:20 PM): how much funnier would it be if chris just slowly rolled down the limo partition and winked at her
Jeflow1 (10:56:30 PM): the guy that was out there for you is watching...he's no longer interested
blnd44illini (10:56:47 PM): bent over backwards?
blnd44illini (10:56:48 PM): kinky
DJvictoriousT (10:57:13 PM): well amber, you may have lost the bachelor competition, but you may have all the other girls beat in terms of desparation
Jeflow1 (10:57:20 PM): maybe it's you
Jeflow1 (10:57:48 PM): amber - two words
Jeflow1 (10:57:58 PM): flavor flav

Preview of next week's episode:

blnd44illini (10:59:03 PM): no way - could we possibly have the first suite rejection?
DJvictoriousT (10:59:15 PM): tessa rocks

Jeopardy: New Lows, or New Levels of Awesomeness???

Because I am the COOLEST person alive, I have been following the Jeopardy college championship, and I have a few important points to make.

1) I can't believe the amount of social awkwardness here. When Alex Trebek can zing you, I'm pretty sure you have reached the lowest of all lows

2) I'm only one year out of college, and I was never given the chance to audition for College Championships... but I could smoke EVERYONE on this year's championship... Please, ask more questions about 300, cause I'm sure NO ONE college aged saw that movie

3) Alex Trebek is a good sport:

4) Over-under on college chicks Trebek banged during the filming... 1.5. I guarantee you he hit the queen of social awkwardness from Notre Dame.

5) Castellan and I discovered the cure for cancer: Let chick from Notre Dame and loser Pete from Michigan mate, then lock their kids in a room w/ a computer and an abacus... Let the magic happen.

6) I cannot wait till Law school finals are over and I can have a more exciting life

Pop Culture Prediction

Sorry about the lack of posts. Smurftastic and I promise a killer Bachelor blog-fest tomorrow. In the meantime...

This is not the most exciting post but it's going up for 2 reasons:
1) It was necessary procrastination from studying for the impossible Constitutional Law exam
2) I am constantly making pop culture predictions which eventually come true, but there is never any record that I was the first to call it

So, the next big wave in popular music will be...(drum roll).........DISCO!

Yep. It's coming back. I swear. I can't say I'm a huge fan of original disco - in fact, if I was an enemy combatant detained by the Bush Administration because I once DJ'd at the bin Laden's family reunion, the most effective way to torture me might be to lock me in a room with the "Saturday Night Fever" soundtrack on loop. The only time I really enjoy disco music is when I'm at a family function, usually a wedding, and I get to disco dance with my Uncle John. He's good. He once owned a mint green polyester leisure suit and that thing was put to good use, let me tell you. We usually bust a move to "Dancing Queen" (because for some reason that's a required song at any all-ages DJ'd event).

However, this new crop of disco has me a little excited. It's definitely less irritating and overall better quality music. I posted two of my recent favorite additions to the genre so you can see (or hear, i guess) what the hype is all about.

First, check out Escort. They're from Brooklyn and have been kicking it around the area. My favorite track is "Love in Indigo" - you can hear it, and other tracks, on their MySpace page: ESCORT

Then, check out this video from Justice.

JUSTICE - D.A.N.C.E.
Video sent by edbangerrecords

Its the BBCS... Part Deux!!!... The Abbreviators

Ok for the second installment of the BBCS, we are going through the guys that had abbreviated names, or shortened part of their names for simply letters. Classy, you know it!

BBMak

• Strength of Schedule 5 - on the scene at the height of the modern boy-band era, 1999-2003
• Overcoming adversity 1 - no Wikipedia evidence of adversity, cept being British
• Album sales 2 - decent, sold 3 million albums, 6 top 10 and top 40 singles
• Tour/Merchandise 2 - apparently sold out a tour in 2000 and performed at MTV New Years eve... also has a DVD entitled "Live in Vietnam"... awesome
• Artistic Performance 1 - weren't really a band of lots of flashyness... however, Smurftastic fully enjoyed the video where they were on the London Eye, and got super excited for that specific reason when she rode it herself. Also, they were pretty cute and had accents
• Alumni success 1 - broken up, apparently have solo careers... although Smurftastic can't name any individual members. Oh and one of the guys apparently does Christian music now.
• the USA Today/Coaches Poll 3 - Smurftastic fully enjoyed that one song that was big in the states... yes its still on her ITunes... no idea what else they've done tho
• Miscellaneous 4 - big ups to playing their own instruments (ish)
• Post-success nostalgia 3 - featured on That's What I Call Music, Volume 5 - easily the best of the volumes... if only because Smurftastic and a certain formal date drunkenly/hungoverly sang to it the entire way home the morning after (and it also featured Come Get It, by Aaron Carter... get excited)

Total Score: 22

LFO

• Strength of schedule 5 - 1997-2003 - primo boy band times
• Overcoming adversity 5 - only 3 members... the horrible name (see Misc.), only 1 remotely attractive member, their manager was Lou Pearlman (more on him later... suffice it to say, MAJOR skeezebag), Rich got leukemia in 2005 (Wikipedia says he's now in remission)
• Album Sales 2 - first album did very well, second album was a flop
• Tour/Merchandise 2 - opened for Britney Spears (keep this in mind for 6 degrees of Britney to be played AFTER the BBCS rankings... bitch is EVERYWHERE), and headlined the Nickelodeon All That Tour
• Artistic Performance 2 -extra points for them for the line "Michael J. Fox was Alex P. Keaton"... had nothing to do w/ the song at all... but Smurftastic is a big Family Ties fan. Also, videos were subpar... just chicks in bikinis and Jennifer Love Hewitt (eew)
• Alumni Success 0 - none really... although one dude looked like the guy who played Theresa's boyfriend on the OC... I think his name was Eddie. Whatever... it wasn't him.
• USA Today/Coaches Poll 3 - Smurftastic fully enjoys them, as a big Abercrombie and Fitch supporter, and also a huge fan of randomness... which seems to be what all their songs represent. Good times.
• Miscellaneous 1 - the name stood for Lyte Funky Ones. Losers, however, mentioned fellow BBCSers NKOTB in Summer Girls... love the throwback
• Post-success nostalgia 4 - Smurftastic dares you to find someone between the ages of 21-24 who doesn't know at least a majority of the words to Summer Girls

Total Score- 24

NKOTB - aka New Kids on the Block

• Strength of schedule 3 - 86-94; really only had to deal w/ New Edition, Boyz II Men and apparently ABC
• Overcoming adversity 2 - Donnie Walberg had an affinity for lighting hotel rooms on fire, rat tails were PREVALENT in inappropriate ways, and Danny was patently unattractive, and kind of looked like a monkey.
• Album Sales 5 - over 70 million albums sold worldwide... awesome
• Tour/Merchandise 5 - yo... check out the "Hangin' Tough" tour tape - Smurftastics friend from HS had it on VHS... that was AWESOME... in addition, had dolls (Smurftastic had them all, don't worry... she used them to play Full House w/ her barbies) and more merchandise than you can shake a stick at. Among the big sister hand me downs (big ups, AllyCat) was a pillow w/ their faces on it
• Artistic Performance 3 - not really into the matching costumes, but the Right Stuff dance was pretty fantastic, you have to admit.
• Alumni Success 4 - Donnie Walberg is an actor now (was in 6th Sense, among other things), Jordan Knight and Joey McIntyre had solo albums, Jordan was on Surreal Life on VH1 (and made inappropriate sexual comments to Joey Gladstone about the Olsen twins... hilarity ensued) and his song Give it To You was featured on Darrin's Dance Grooves, and Joey was on Broadway and Dancing with the Stars
• USA Today/Coaches Poll 5 - personal favorite of Smurftastic
• Miscellaneous 4 - good times for the family factor (Jon and Jordan were brothers) and Donny is Marky Mark's brother, Jon dated Tiffany (I Think We're Alone Now - redhead)
• Post-success nostalgia 4 - don't even pretend like you don't tap your toes when Step by Step comes on...

Total Score - 35

NSYNC aka *NSync, N'Sync, etc.

• Strength of schedule 5 - biggest boy band explosion of modern times
• Overcoming adversity 4 -Lou Pearlman, Supercreep, was their manager and fucked them over w/ cash, etc; additionally, Lance's mom didn't want him to be in the band at first, and Lance and Justin's moms toured w/ them for years (really hurts when going for the groupie ass)
• Album Sales 5 -NSYNC wins at life, and you know it. No Strings Attached (first album after ditching Pearlman) sold 2.4 million albums in the FIRST WEEK, holding the record for most sales in one week in music history. Their next album, Celebrity, holds second place w/ 1.8 albums sold the first week, they have 3 Diamond Albums... DON'T SLEEP
• Tour/Merchandise 5 - NSYNCs tours are fan-fucking-tastic. DVDs can be seen at Smurftastic's apartment or pretty much anywhere. Particularly recommended - the No Strings Attached HBO special, and the one that started it all (esp. w/ Justin's blue genie pants) -the Disney Channel Original Music Special; merchandise was not to the extent of NKOTB... but they did have marionette dolls, magnets, folders, jewelry boxes, etc.
• Artistic Performance 5 - NSYNC was all about the additional feasts for the eyes... dancing all over the place (and they were actually good dancers... w/ the exception of Lance who was slightly awkward, esp at the beginning). Also have been known to wear matching (ish) outfits featuring glow sticks to throw to the crowd. Let us also not forget Chris's ridic dreadlocks (occasionally featuring glitter and pigtails) and Justin's blonde 'fro - often held back by a bedazzled bandanna.
• Alumni Success 4 - Justin Timberlake, of course... warrants no further explanation, JC released a solo album (not as good... dude is a sex fiend) and dated Eva Longoria, additionally, a song from his first album is now apparently the theme for ABC's Thursday night TV lineup; Joey Fatone has been in a few movies (Big Fat Greek Wedding) and TV Shows, as well as starred in Rent on Broadway, and is now kicking ass on Dancing w/ the Stars. Negative points for Lance trying to go to the moon (dammit), but he appeared in On the Line... horrible movie... but whatever; Chris does voiceover work and still has his clothing line
• USA Today/Coaches Poll 5 - no way they couldn't be. Smurftastic had(has?) an unhealthy obsession... and DJ Victorious has been known to put them in DJ lineups (probably just to watch me dance, and because I bug her to do it)
• Miscellaneous 5 - extra points for Justin devirginizing Britney Spears before she was nasty, the SuperBowl performance w/ Aerosmith, and putting themselves together. Also, don't forget the Mickey Mouse club (JC and Justin), and appearances on SNL (amazing skit appearances... even before Justin bringing it on into omeletville) These guys are like the Ohio State (only not losing in the end) of the BBCS
• Post-success nostalgia 5 - if you haven't experienced Smurftastic and her friends when an NSYNC song comes on... you are really missing out... or really lucky... either way.

Total Score - 43

O-Town

• Strength of schedule 5 - same time as NSYNC, et. al.
• Overcoming adversity 4 - first Making the Band band, one member was named Ashley Angel... ew; also managed by Lou Pearlman... ew...
• Album Sales 3 - sold about 5.5 million albums... not too shabby
• Tour/Merchandise 1 - no real tour success - too busy being on TV
• Artistic Performance 3 - creepy video to Liquid Dreams had morphing into water, kind of like Capri Sun commercials
• Alumni Success 2 - Ashley Parker Angel had another show on MTV about trying to make it NOT as an O-Town member, apparently some broadway success... No idea what the rest of them are up to.
• USA Today/Coaches Poll 2 - Smurftastic appreciated them for the humor/disgusting value of their songs, eg "Liquid Dreams" and the one about Going all night long... kind of catchy beats... but naughty
• Miscellaneous 1- negative points for recording a song on the Pokemon soundtrack
• Post-success nostalgia 2 - for anyone in my generation, you remember them and laugh when a song comes on, but that's it. Apparently there is a super popular band in Asia that does cover songs of them. Awesome.

Total Score - 23

FYI - even though BSB technically could fit in here, they aren't, cause I have to actually get studying done, and there's just too many bands from the same era then.

Also, for those of you who don't know about Lou Pearlman and his creepiness... enjoy?

IMPORTANT BBCS UPDATES

Ok. So have gotten some excellent feedback from the BBCS rankings thus far. First of all, my apologies to all you Sister Sister and Roger fans out there... I forgot to include his own band Immature in the rankings. Perhaps this is because until about 1 year ago, I thought Roger and his cousin in B2K were the SAME PERSON. And was infinitely confused about his presence in 2 boy bands. False. Immature. Get excited. Too late to include them in the rankings now... but let's just say, they are a fan favorite. I LOVE ROGER (no idea what his actual name is, but whatever).

While discussing this w/ DJ Victorious, I discovered that my childhood was filled w/ emptiness because I was not, until today, exposed to this juicy tidbit of pre-teen boybandness, ABC (or Another Bad Creation). I blame it on growing up in Dunlap, IL.



OK. I know what you are thinking... This is THE MOST AWESOME THING I HAVE EVER SEEN. And that's right. That's what I thought when I watched it as well. A few things to take note of during your second viewing (cause you know this is worth watching MULTIPLE times). 1) That girl is a minimum of 4 years older than three quarters of that band. Ew. 2) The New Edition cameo. Apparently (according to resident music expert DJ Victorious) this band is like the mini-New Edition. I'm analogizing this to Lil'Romeo/Master P and Snoop Dogg/Lil'Bow Wow. More bands should do this. Would I go see Lil'Justin Timberlake in concert? You bet your ass I would. Lil'50 Cent??? I'd give up my inheritance. Get on it guys, get on it.

I would like to extend a very special thank you to DJ Victorious and truechayiL for exposing me to this, and thus... making my finals week (and life) complete. Everything is all right now. The world is as it should be.

I swear, I'm studying.