2010 Grammy Awards

Here we go... half assed as per usual lately. Working full time really takes it out of you.

Gaga-Elton John. “How wonderful life is with Gaga in the world.” Vom.

Stephen Colbert – hope he’s the host. He is so fantastic.

T Swift wins country album of the year – not surprised. She’s badass cause she writes her own songs. She and her mom are sitting next to Ringo Starr. Lucky kid…

Beyonce singing “You Oughta Know” is kinda amazing. She’s tossing her hair too much, but otherwise a great performance.

Pink performance. Not a fan. Turned back to Planet Earth Extremes. THOSE COCKROACHES ATE THAT BAT DOWN TO THE BONE. Awesome.

Zac Brown Band wins best new artist. Good for them, good for country music… they really do the genre the right way, staying away from too much pop.

MILEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She looks great. Sad that she’s announcing the Black Eyed Peas, as they are INCREDIBLY irritating. JBone: “This performance is heinous.” Agreed. Back to Planet Earth.

Jonas Brothers introduce Lady Antebellum singing “Need You Now.” Wildly pro everything involved. Even when the girl gets hit in the face with the sheet. Love it all. Can’t get enough of that song.

Glad Stephen Colbert won for comedy album, mainly because it’s the only one I’ve heard.

Robert Downey Jr. is wearing a ridiculous suit jacket with straps, and I love it. He intros Jamie Foxx attempting to sing opera. Ridiculous. Wildly anti auto tune. Oh heyyyyyy- Otter pups learning to fish! Nice to see you. Look out for that crocodile.

T Swift with Stevie Nicks was cool. T’s outfit was ridiculous. Now MJ tribute, but seems like they’re just gonna do slow jam. If I am dealing with Usher in an MJ tribute, I want him dancing, not singing We Are the World. Just saying. This 3-D is lame, as I have no goggles, and so it’s all fuzzy… makes J Bone and I feel like we’re a few more beers in than we are in. Carrie Underwood, per usual, looks fantastic. Also on Planet Earth Extremes, a polar bear tried to kill walruses, but instead he died. I’m basically heartbroken.

Bon Jovi performance. Still not sure why they are on, but I’m on board, I suppose. Glad they brought out Jennifer Nettles for “Who Says You Can’t Go Home,” but now she’s awkwardly standing behind them during “Livin’ on a Prayer.” Oh she sings… she must be in heaven. I would be. Bon Jovi has only gotten better looking with age.

I’M ON A BOAT WAS ROBBED!

Just realized this goes till 11:30. I am not happy. Instead, I’ll watch the cockroaches eat the bat again.

Maxwell. Never heard this song. Pretty indifferent, and fading fast.

Of course because I’m watching something else I miss the beginning of the dead people montage. Hope there wasn’t anyone awesome at the beginning. The Les Paul tribute is pretty awesome.

Lady Gaga’s outfit #3 of the night is awful, pretty standard, actually. Quentin Tarantino’s outfit is even worse with the polka dot shirt. He’s also speaking with a fake thug ish accent. Pretty exciting how much I hate him, really.

Lil Wayne and some other rappers. Whatever... The sound goes out and I actually don’t care. Unaware that Eminem was still making music. He’s pretty talented but I’m equally indifferent. Lil’ Wayne really is little.

T Swift brings home album of the year. Good for her. Hers is the only album I listened to all the way trhough, but when the neighbors bought Lady Gaga I wanted to kill myself, so there you go. She’s so adorable it’s almost too much. Excited it went to a country artist.

Going to bed. Peace out.

Golden Globes 2010

I was up till 5am last night, so this will be admittedly half assed. I can’t skip, however, because Ricky Gervais is hosting, and he is the man. Finally these awards shows are getting smart and hiring people who are actually entertaining to host these things, and after NPH on the Tonys and Emmys, I have high hopes for Ricky.

It’s pouring rain for the arrivals, and I’m getting legitimately embarrassed for the NBC arrivals show team (awful, btw), because they keep awkwardly insulting people about being wet “your hair looks a little different this year… a little matted…”. Who are you to judge, D list entertainer? (I'm looking at you Vanessa Minnillo... it looks like you are going to a 2002 prom)

I hate Quentin Tarantino. Ugh. Do less coke dude. Just SHUT UP already. You look like a rapist in that duster, and It's Always Sunny in Philadelpha taught me that dusters are hilarious. Don't ruin it for me.

Quick comments about the football game that just ended. Jets. Wow. Nice game. I hope they get DESTROYED by the Colts, but a big day for New York, and Rex Ryan's general hilarity. For NFC Championships this weekend, hoping more for a good game than a particular team to win. As a Bears fan I'm supposed to hate the Vikings, but I can't bring myself to. I like the Saints this season, but I'd like to see Favre end his career with a Super Bowl. Also I've been saying all season that it will probably be a Saints-Colts Super Bowl, so maybe I'll seem smart if that's how it goes. Either way, want an NFC victory in the biggest game.

Let the digs at NBC begin. Just to register my opinion, I have always been a fan of Jay Leno in the Late Night Wars (meaning ONLY that I prefer him to Letterman, but I honestly almost never watch late night talk shows anyway, so my opinion is borderline irrelevant). Conan was on too late for me, and I find some of the stuff of his I see the next day on youtube to be entertaining, but I honestly don’t know him much at all. However, the way he has been treated by the network is sad. He has handled this well, and I wish him the best. I will still always prefer Stephen Colbert and Craig Ferguson for my late night hosts.

Monique wins for Precious. Whatever. I have no interest in this movie. Looks WAY too depressing for my taste. Toni Collette beats out two of my favorites (Tina Fey and Rachel from Glee) for best comedy actress on TV, but for all reviews I’ve heard, this is well deserved. NPH’s award is up. He looks nervous. I will be disappointed if he doesn’t take this home, per usual. John Lithgow. LAME. Apparently he’s awesome on Dexter, but he’s not NPH, so right now, he can die in a fire. How I Met Your Mother needs to stay on the air until NPH finally gets the Emmy he so richly deserves. Michael C. Hall beats out Hugh Laurie, and I don’t watch Dexter, so I’m not happy. But, good for him. Everything I hear about that show is amazing. I legitimately don’t care about any of the woman nominated for best actress in drama. Watch zero of the shows.

Starting the boring miniseries, foreign language and music awards. Catch ya in an hour or so.

Jennifer Aniston’s dress slit is out of control, but she looks great. She and Courteney Cox have both aged fantastically. Go Friends!

Mad Men wins best drama. No surprises here. If it had gone to True Blood, I might have boycotted forever. Not saying it’s not a decent show, but I’m WILDLY anti the vampire trend.

Aaaand in the commercial breaks I have discovered a sequel to the Planet Earth series… Planet Earth Extremes. As a direct result, I am skipping Martin Scorsese’s lifetime achievement award. Hope I don’t also miss the dead people montage… though there wasn’t one last year. Do the Golden Globes even do dead people montages?

GERVAIS JUST OWNED MEL GIBSON. That was awesome. “I like a drink as much as the next man, unless the next man is Mel Gibson.” Just phenomenal. I can't believe Mel didn't go ballistic, but, then, he seems like such a sane and calm human being.

GLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WINS best comedy TV series – SOOOOOOOOO HAPPY! Couldn’t have happened to a more deserving show! Mama Smurftastic finally started watching it, and she's a fan too... I hope this show keeps up its standards and has a long run, it's literally the happiest part of my week.

Mike Tyson with the cast of The Hangover. Wishing Zack Galifianakis was there, though, as he makes everything amazing. Hangover wins best comedy motion picture and I am wildly pro. Love that they are walking up to the stage to the “What do tigers dream of?” song as sung by Ed Helms. Love that R rated comedies are doing well. Love Todd Phillips ("I'm here for the gang bang.")… you make my life better. Please keep making movies... forever.

Sandra Bullock wins best actress in a drama for the Blind Side. I may actually have to see this movie. I do love sports movies and Sandra Bullock, but I thought this looked cheesy and figured it's a rental at best. I’ve been sold. Men’s comedy acting goes to Robert Downey Jr. He was great in Sherlock Holmes, and his acceptance speech was by far my favorite of the night. Not my favorite movie, but I enjoyed it. He is hilarious.

The Dude wins best drama actor for Crazy Horse. I know absolutely nothing about this movie. But I’m pro The Dude (just watched the Big Lebowski for the first time last week, and loved it). Meryl Streep's comedy win surprises no one. Really want to see Julie and Julia, because in my head I'm already a 49 year old cat lady.

Ready for bed. Let’s get this last award going. Julia Roberts seems awesome, just a fun chick to hang out with. Avatar wins, and I have to say I’m starting to revert back from wanting to see the movie (after holding out forever), to being a part of the backlash. Enough already. James Cameron’s hair is ridiculous, and when he spoke in his made-up language, I basically judged him for life.

Verdict – Ricky Gervais is still awesome, and would be if the rest of the show sucked (it didn't) for the Mel Gibson burn alone. Best dressed = Sandra Bullock, Jennifer Aniston, Dianna Agron , Worst dressed = Chloe Sevigny, Christina Aguilera.

Let me know what you think in the comments. Until next time...