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Showing posts with label Dick move. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dick move. Show all posts

Monday, September 14, 2009

Guest Entry #2, Kanye Response

Below is a response from another new contributor, KSquizz. Get ready to see her featured more, in some more lighthearted fare. (I promise we won't rant forever). Enjoy.

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While my fellow pop culture pundits have taken to the interwebs to express their shock and anger at the ridiculous display of douchebaggery that was Kanye West at these most recent VMAs, I am here to attack the issue from another angle.

I was incredibly angry last night watching a man in his 30s rip the microphone out of the hands of a teenaged girl who was probably experiencing one of the happiest and most exciting moments of her life. He completely ruined her moment because he was drunk (or my guess pretending to be drunk), and he thought Beyonce should have won.
Looking at it a day later, my view is that Kanye West may be the most pathetic human being on the Earth.

This is nothing new for West. He is pretty much a guarantee to rush the stage at any award show he attends if the producers make the mistake of awarding musical acts they believe are the best rather than stroking Kanye’s gigantic ego or having the audacity not to agree with his very limited musical tastes. West seems to ignore the fact that Taylor Swift’s latest effort is the biggest selling album of the year. Beyonce’s album sold 1.3 million copies less than Taylor’s. Swift also outsold West by 2.1 million copies. Kanye may think he is a “glitch in the matrix” showing the world that awards are going to the unworthy, but he is just not in touch in reality. He simply cannot believe that the public could disagree with his musical tastes and preferences.

Many blogs and commenters have attacked West’s outbursts as being motivated by racism and sexism. West has made some pretty ridiculous comments in the past that would lead any literate human being to believe that he is in fact both a racist and a sexist POS, but I honestly don’t think his outburst was motivated by any sort of hate belief system.

Kanye West is a narcissist and delusional. He stormed that stage like he storms every other because he legitimately thinks that 1) his opinion matters above all others, and 2) that the public ACTUALLY wants to see and hear from him. It’s actually sad. Perhaps it is our culture that builds celebrities up to thinking that their opinions somehow outrank the opinions of the masses or the educated because so often celebrities take stances and are allowed to speak to millions on subjects that should not be tackled by people with little to no education (Angelina Jolie and Ashton Kutcher come to mind).

However, West has nowhere near the kind of A list fame where his outbursts can be blamed on the public caring too much. Turns out, we don’t care, Kanye. His outbursts, therefore, can only be blamed on mental illness. I imagine he actually sits in his mansion, awkwardly next to oft-naked Amber Rose trying not to touch her, imagining millions of people in the outside world doing nothing but listening to his music and discussing him, hoping and praying Kanye will grace them with a word.

Meanwhile Kanye, in the real world, you aren’t really that famous. Sure, you have fans, but you are at best a C List celebrity. Gays and teenaged girls rule the world and decide who is famous. It is a simple fact of celebrity. You don’t appeal to them. So the people of the world continue their lives, worried about their futures in this economy and spending the little disposable income they have on Taylor Swift or Beyonce’s music. ( I mean I look for jobs while belting out “You Belong with Me” on a pretty much daily basis.)

Kanye is also sad and pathetic because he legitimately believes himself to be brave for gracing the world with the gift of his outbursts without realizing that he only goes on these tirades when he is attacking someone he views as defenseless or unlikely to give him shit for what he is doing. Pink was on the Today show this morning and said that she did not believe he would have rushed the stage if she had won. I agree. Pink would have punched him in the face without hesitation. He is a big tough man when rushing the stage and snatching microphone from a 90 pound teenaged girl. If Pink had won, he would have taken one look at that tiny ball of lightning and stayed firmly planted in his seat. Then, he would have simply taken to his blog and bitched about how BEYONCE WAZ ROBBED BUT PINK IS STIL MAD GUD. GO ON GRRL!!! J West would not want to anger Pink because unlike Swift who said little about the subject and was obviously shaken, Pink would have made the grown man cry. I mean, would you mess with Pink?

Finally, Kanye is pathetic because he believes he was in the right. After he got his and his girlfriend’s giant asses kicked out of the awards, he did the only thing he could do, “apologize” without actually being sorry or saying he was wrong in ALLCAPS. HE IS SOOOOOOO SORRY BUT BEYONCE DESERVED IT AND HE IS REAL. How is that an apology? It just continues to insult Swift and her fans. Kanye believes he can insult all these people because he is simply better than them and people love him. No one loves you, Kanye. You are a sad, little man. You are an embarrassment to your late mother, who was an educated English professor.
Unfortunately, Kanye is getting exactly what he wants. This is the first time I have thought about Kanye West for more than 30 seconds since Hurricane Katrina. He occasionally crosses my mind when I see pictures of his beard, the outrageous Amber Rose, dressed up in dental floss. I think we can all agree that their relationship is nothing more than a desperate cry for publicity.

Congratulations Kanye, your desperate need for attention has made you infamous. Like a bratty child, you have obviously decided that negative attention is better than none at all. You have joined the infamous ranks of ODB and Soy Bomb, oh and Lil Mama (who rushed the stage during Jay Z and Alicia Key’s snoozefest VMA closing performance).


Is it me or does she look like a kid posing with the wax figures at Madame Tussauds?

Believing that West is just a desperate, pathetic loser dying for his name to get into the news at the expense of a talented young woman, I vote that we officially turn our backs on the KING OF THE CAPS LOCK KEY. He is like a child screaming and throwing a temper tantrum in a toy store. If we simply turn around and ignore his screams, maybe he will calm down and go away. Ignoring him and making him less famous is the only way to truly get to West. Hopefully, the public will ignore him enough that he is forced to get a real job and live in the real world. And then hopefully, his ass gets fired for using CAPS LOCK in company emails. (http://consumerist.com/5350635/new-zealand-woman-fired-after-sending-too-many-all+caps-e+mails)

Thanks for the time!

xoxo,
KSquizz

Guest entry #1, Kanye response... UPDATED

Below is a response from a first-time contributor, CaliCoop. This has not been edited or toned down upon reciept. It is probably in everyone's best interest not to mess with her. You'll see...

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First, I’d like to thank Smurftastic for allowing me to guest blog on this particularly poignant topic. Now onto the goods …

Dear Kanye:

While I’d certainly be glad to admit that your first two albums weren’t the most horrible things ever to grace my inner ear, this will be a far cry from pointing out just your amazing fall from fame … although I must point out your free fall on Forbes Most Powerful Celebrities List from 27 in 2008 to 46 in 2009, while Taylor has gone from unranked to 69. Whether you are a country music fan or not the presence of Taylor Swift in music is undeniable. No album has had the staying power on the Billboard 200 for more weeks since 1999-2000 (years before Kanye released his first album) than Taylor’s Fearless album. Her second album, Fearless, recorded the largest opening in 2008 for ANY female artist, and only fourth behind Lil’ Wayne, AC/DC and Coldplay … again, no Kanye. Not to mention she is absolutely adorable and much too young to have to deal with some douche bag stealing her thunder.

Just because your music sucks and no one gives a flying sh*t if you live to make another song or not does not mean you need to ruin everyone else’s life in the meantime. Some musicians are STILL actually making good music … deal with it! And what kind of prick ruins a 19 year old girl’s first VMA Award EVER!?! You strut around acting like you are some kind of charitable person minus your outrageous tirades and obvious inability to accept others, when in fact the charity that you yourself started in the name of your mother you have donated less than a million dollars to … when you make over 25 MILLION DOLLARS A YEAR?! What kind of cheap bastard are you?!

With that, I’ll end with this for now … you are and forever will be #1 on my die in a fire list until you somehow make amends for your absolutely outrageous conduct and by no means does posting some half-hearted apology on your blog count towards anything. You are scum of the earth and the reason why there is still so much hatred towards people that are different, if you are so full of yourself that you are incapable of politely sitting in your seat while a 19 year girl accepts her first VMA I truly hope you are never in a position to need any kind of assistance or acceptance by someone who finds you different, because it is at that moment you MAY realize the ignorance and absolute ridiculousness of your ways and actually become a real man, until then find the nearest bridge and take a jump … no one will miss your tirades and your best music is already left for those of us who can still stand the sound of your voice to enjoy.

Thanks very much,
CaliCoop

PS - and how could I forget … why is it after failing to win a VMA for yourself in 2006 and 2007 and vowing to never return to the VMAs ever again are you still back every year?! Is it because you are such a bitter jerk that you have stooped to the level of raining on the parade of those actually talented enough to win?! Or possibly that even though you’ll never actually win yourself, especially because your albums are now a shameful excuse for music, you love the possibility of even a second of air time even on an overhead shot of the audience because you’re a total attention whore whose music has failed to satisfy his thirst for publicity for years now. Oh why on earth could we have not been so lucky for you to have actually kept your promise …

Dear Kanye, WTF?

So this rant will be short, but not so sweet, and possibly will be continued by some guest bloggers. For those of you who still pay attention to such things as the VMAs (or watch the news), you know that Kanye West stormed the stage during Taylor Swift's acceptance speech for Best Female Music video last night, took the mic from her, and said that Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time (she was also nominated but didn't win). He was booed and later kicked out of the show (his performance was cancelled as well), and Beyonce, after winning Video of the Year, called Taylor back onstage to "have her moment" (= mad class) Here are my brief thoughts.



Dear Kanye:


WTF, dude? Why do you even care? Are you and Beyonce friends? Cause it seems like she was pretty pissed at you. What happened to you, man? Did you realize that after your first two albums, which I own and love, your music started to get lame? Is this some desperate attempt to stay relevant? Your douchiness used to be kind of funny, but when it humiliates a 19 year old girl during one of the most exciting moments of her life, that crosses a line. Maybe you should work instead on making music that shows your producing talent that was so evident on "College Dropout" and "Late Registration" which is ever so lacking now. Maybe you should work on dating someone who is not (I'm pretty sure), a dude.


We know you have a vendetta against country music, as evidenced when you lost out on an award to Carrie Underwood and had a fit, but don't fault these girls for having crossover appeal which you, apparently, are jealous of. That was not classy, or funny, and it made someone who used to be one of your biggest fans (me), not even want to listen to your old stuff that I loved so much. I get that not everyone likes country, its fine. But don't blatantly hurt feelings just for attention. Get over yourself.


Yours Truly,
Smurftastic, disappointed former fan


PS - Shaving designs in your head is SOOOOO VANILLA ICE. And he did it better.
PPS - Big ups to Beyonce and MTV for handling the situation gracefully