So I am in the library, studying (ish) for finals. Watching the NFL.com live coverage of the draft. Have been informed I am missing a lot of the unintentional comedy featured on the ESPN coverage... but what can you do. I'm gonna stop paying attention earlier than it would be worth it for me to have stayed home. That said... some comments on NFL commentators. I totally forgot how small Deion Sanders is. Also Marshall Faulk has a really fat face. And I really enjoy Rich Eisen. Also, I LOVE that there are only 10 minute limits between picks. Makes things flow much faster.
1) OMG I'm so surprised that Jake Long went first! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT... move on. Michigan still sucks.
2) Chris Long is kind of hot. I'm glad he didn't follow his Dad's haircut footsteps as well as his football footsteps.
3) FULLY enjoy both the Matt Ryan pick and the Matt Ryan sweatervest. KSK has already named him Matty Ice... and he is the anti-Vick... Solid moves.
4) Raiders taking FOREVER... COME ON MCFADDEN..... YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS - wooooooooo pig suey! Yes he has lots of illegitimate children... but that guy is AMAZING. I may now have to start watching Raider games. Oh PS - NFL network just reminded us that Darren McFadden vs. LT will be on their network. I will be watching. ...HAHAHA McFadden just said he can help his family (read... illegit kids) out with whatever they need. This is a good man. Childsupport what what?!? OK, enough DMC family jokes... he's still my favorite college player of the last 10 years.
5) KC gets Dorsey. Whatever. The bling on his watch is inappropriate for someone before he's been drafted.
6) Jets on the clock. I'm already bored with references to the fact that the draft is held in NYC and it's a New York team making the pick. Um Jets fans in the audience with painted faces? REALLLLLLLLLLLY? Gholston picked. Really enjoying how the NFL commentators are digging into Michigan for the fact that he OWNED Jake Long in every game they played in college. Though I on principle hate Ohio State more than Michigan, Gholston got picked lower and we beat Ohio State this year and lost to Michigan (though it was not because they were better... it's cause we screwed ourselves)... anyway... Now all the guys in the green room have been picked... too bad we won't have a Brady Quinn this year cause that was awesome.
7) Pats trade 7th pick to the Saints who take Sedrick (yes I spelled that correctly... ridiculous) Ellis from USC. Don't know much about it other than he owned Illinois in the Rose Bowl.
8) Another trade. Ravens give the pick to the Jags and fall back to get a cheaper player for an extra pick. I care about neither of these teams. Derrick Harvey, DE from Florida. Whatever...
9) Bengals on the clock - (insert them being criminals joke here) - Keith Rivers. another guy who owned in the Rose Bowl.
10) Patriots getting booed... a lot. This just in... JETS fans are kind of whiny. Jerod Mayo, LB, Tennessee. The best part (perhaps only good part) about Tennessee is that they bring live adorable dogs to the games. Doesn't quite make up for how ugly their "orange" is.
11) Bills take Leodis McKelvin. Moving on.
12) Broncos take Ryan Clady from Boise State... their first ever 1st round pick... Adorable.
13) One pick before the Bearssss are set to go. I'm getting excited. Mendenhall still on the board. We are getting remarkably close to the last picks I care about. Oh and the Panthers take Jonathan Stewart from Oregon. Ducks, as an animal, are awesome. As a movie? MIGHTY.
14) DA BEARSSSS on the clock. NFL commentators just referred to Mendenhall's shimmy and wiggle. Sexy. HOLY CRAP... NFL interviewing Bill Belichick. He is wearing a suit. With a pink shirt and tie.... My world is collapsing around me. Bears take Chris Williams from Vandy. Though Mendenhall would have been AWESOME... I like this pick. OT are what we need the most. But I'd like to see them pick up a RB in an upcoming pick... Remember Benson? HE SUCKS.
15) Lions on the clock. I've been expecting Mendenhall to go here for a long time. I don't like it, cause the Lions suck and I won't get to see many of their games. But keeping him Midwest is pretty chill. OH TRADE! That was somewhat unexpected. Now Kansas City has a pick, and takes Brandon Albert. I'm starting to freak out that Mendenhall won't go first round. I will be PISSED, cause if that's the case he could have stayed at Illinois for his senior year.
16) Now Cardinals on the clock. In my head, all I can hear is "THEY ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE!" Damn you Coors Light commercials. I was just informed that Kansas City has more holes than Swiss cheese. ZING. Cardinals take Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie. His name is way too long.
17) Lions back on the clock... now's the time to take Mendenhall and justify my predictions... NOPE go with a tackle, Gosder Cherilus. I am really starting to flip out....
18) Houston on the clock. Ravens trade for the spot. Take QB Joe Flacco. Whatever. He's from Delaware... now all I can hear is "Hi... I'm in Delaware." Extra points for anyone who knows what movie that is from.
19) Eagles on the clock. TRADE to Carolina who take Jeff Otah. SERIOUSLY? They gave up a lot for this guy. Hope it works out. Just kidding. I don't give a rat's ass if it works out.
20) Tampa Bay Buccaneers on the clock. I like pirates, so Mendenhall could go here... I guess. They take Aqib Talib. Rhyming is fun.
21) Redskins on the clock. Kind of would be chill for Mendenhall to go to them, because of the Chief Illiniwek metaphors. That said... PLEASE TAKE HIM SO HE IS NOT AVAILABLE TO THE COWBOYS. I HATE THE COWBOYS! Redskins trade with the Falcons. They take tackle Sam Baker. Oh good. Mendenhall still available.
22) Cowboys. They just made reference to "America's Team" and I threw up in my mouth a little. There is a twelve year old red-headed boy at the Dallas draft table with headphones and all. What? They take Felix Jones from Arkansas. I'm quite glad they didn't take Mendenhall, but it's pretty depressing that Jones went ahead of him. Even though I really like Jones and he's a way better fit with Dallas, I'm starting to think Mendenhall should have gone back to Illinois for his senior year.
23) Steelers on the clock. DJ Victorious' team. They take RASHARD MENDENHALL! It's about goddamn time. I REALLY like this pick the more I think about it. First of all, now DJ Vic and I can root for the Steelers together. NICE. Also, he's on the East Coast. Meaning I will get to see him play more, and if he stays there till I get money, I can roadtrip to a game. Plus I think he'll be quite successful there. OK it's been nearly 3 hours since I did any legit work. So peace out. I don't care about any other picks below this to keep watching. Enjoy the rest of the drafts, peeps.
1) OMG I'm so surprised that Jake Long went first! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT... move on. Michigan still sucks.
2) Chris Long is kind of hot. I'm glad he didn't follow his Dad's haircut footsteps as well as his football footsteps.
3) FULLY enjoy both the Matt Ryan pick and the Matt Ryan sweatervest. KSK has already named him Matty Ice... and he is the anti-Vick... Solid moves.
4) Raiders taking FOREVER... COME ON MCFADDEN..... YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS - wooooooooo pig suey! Yes he has lots of illegitimate children... but that guy is AMAZING. I may now have to start watching Raider games. Oh PS - NFL network just reminded us that Darren McFadden vs. LT will be on their network. I will be watching. ...HAHAHA McFadden just said he can help his family (read... illegit kids) out with whatever they need. This is a good man. Childsupport what what?!? OK, enough DMC family jokes... he's still my favorite college player of the last 10 years.
5) KC gets Dorsey. Whatever. The bling on his watch is inappropriate for someone before he's been drafted.
6) Jets on the clock. I'm already bored with references to the fact that the draft is held in NYC and it's a New York team making the pick. Um Jets fans in the audience with painted faces? REALLLLLLLLLLLY? Gholston picked. Really enjoying how the NFL commentators are digging into Michigan for the fact that he OWNED Jake Long in every game they played in college. Though I on principle hate Ohio State more than Michigan, Gholston got picked lower and we beat Ohio State this year and lost to Michigan (though it was not because they were better... it's cause we screwed ourselves)... anyway... Now all the guys in the green room have been picked... too bad we won't have a Brady Quinn this year cause that was awesome.
7) Pats trade 7th pick to the Saints who take Sedrick (yes I spelled that correctly... ridiculous) Ellis from USC. Don't know much about it other than he owned Illinois in the Rose Bowl.
8) Another trade. Ravens give the pick to the Jags and fall back to get a cheaper player for an extra pick. I care about neither of these teams. Derrick Harvey, DE from Florida. Whatever...
9) Bengals on the clock - (insert them being criminals joke here) - Keith Rivers. another guy who owned in the Rose Bowl.
10) Patriots getting booed... a lot. This just in... JETS fans are kind of whiny. Jerod Mayo, LB, Tennessee. The best part (perhaps only good part) about Tennessee is that they bring live adorable dogs to the games. Doesn't quite make up for how ugly their "orange" is.
11) Bills take Leodis McKelvin. Moving on.
12) Broncos take Ryan Clady from Boise State... their first ever 1st round pick... Adorable.
13) One pick before the Bearssss are set to go. I'm getting excited. Mendenhall still on the board. We are getting remarkably close to the last picks I care about. Oh and the Panthers take Jonathan Stewart from Oregon. Ducks, as an animal, are awesome. As a movie? MIGHTY.
14) DA BEARSSSS on the clock. NFL commentators just referred to Mendenhall's shimmy and wiggle. Sexy. HOLY CRAP... NFL interviewing Bill Belichick. He is wearing a suit. With a pink shirt and tie.... My world is collapsing around me. Bears take Chris Williams from Vandy. Though Mendenhall would have been AWESOME... I like this pick. OT are what we need the most. But I'd like to see them pick up a RB in an upcoming pick... Remember Benson? HE SUCKS.
15) Lions on the clock. I've been expecting Mendenhall to go here for a long time. I don't like it, cause the Lions suck and I won't get to see many of their games. But keeping him Midwest is pretty chill. OH TRADE! That was somewhat unexpected. Now Kansas City has a pick, and takes Brandon Albert. I'm starting to freak out that Mendenhall won't go first round. I will be PISSED, cause if that's the case he could have stayed at Illinois for his senior year.
16) Now Cardinals on the clock. In my head, all I can hear is "THEY ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE!" Damn you Coors Light commercials. I was just informed that Kansas City has more holes than Swiss cheese. ZING. Cardinals take Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie. His name is way too long.
17) Lions back on the clock... now's the time to take Mendenhall and justify my predictions... NOPE go with a tackle, Gosder Cherilus. I am really starting to flip out....
18) Houston on the clock. Ravens trade for the spot. Take QB Joe Flacco. Whatever. He's from Delaware... now all I can hear is "Hi... I'm in Delaware." Extra points for anyone who knows what movie that is from.
19) Eagles on the clock. TRADE to Carolina who take Jeff Otah. SERIOUSLY? They gave up a lot for this guy. Hope it works out. Just kidding. I don't give a rat's ass if it works out.
20) Tampa Bay Buccaneers on the clock. I like pirates, so Mendenhall could go here... I guess. They take Aqib Talib. Rhyming is fun.
21) Redskins on the clock. Kind of would be chill for Mendenhall to go to them, because of the Chief Illiniwek metaphors. That said... PLEASE TAKE HIM SO HE IS NOT AVAILABLE TO THE COWBOYS. I HATE THE COWBOYS! Redskins trade with the Falcons. They take tackle Sam Baker. Oh good. Mendenhall still available.
22) Cowboys. They just made reference to "America's Team" and I threw up in my mouth a little. There is a twelve year old red-headed boy at the Dallas draft table with headphones and all. What? They take Felix Jones from Arkansas. I'm quite glad they didn't take Mendenhall, but it's pretty depressing that Jones went ahead of him. Even though I really like Jones and he's a way better fit with Dallas, I'm starting to think Mendenhall should have gone back to Illinois for his senior year.
23) Steelers on the clock. DJ Victorious' team. They take RASHARD MENDENHALL! It's about goddamn time. I REALLY like this pick the more I think about it. First of all, now DJ Vic and I can root for the Steelers together. NICE. Also, he's on the East Coast. Meaning I will get to see him play more, and if he stays there till I get money, I can roadtrip to a game. Plus I think he'll be quite successful there. OK it's been nearly 3 hours since I did any legit work. So peace out. I don't care about any other picks below this to keep watching. Enjoy the rest of the drafts, peeps.
UPDATE: So one of my favorite parts about the draft and the live blogs I was reading were all the jokes about Keyshawn Johnson's outfit. Because I was watching NFL.com's live coverage, I didn't see ESPN and the magic that was this outfit. But Sunday morning, I finally found a pic. And it is AMAZING.
I would like to congratulate Tex on winning the best response after seeing this pic:
Tex: my sweet jesus god...
Tex: my stomach hurts just looking at that
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