Threesome Play-by-Play

Abby and I are at McGovern's. Thursday. 11:26 p.m. Imminent threesome at table by door. Girl with no shoes: clearly a poor life choice at McGovern's. For any man out there - the WORST possible threesome you could imagine. The girls aren't that ugly. They're ugly-ish. Smurftastic has bigger boobs than anyone involved.
"15 sheets to the wind" moves in on the girl on the barstool (who has a boyfriend). She is making face-sucking, Kamikazi dives at "taken," and being blocked with quick and controlled facial turns. She's now on the table, spread like a Gaia giving birth to twins, and Dorothy (wearing red shoes with a black and white outfit - ouch) is either (a) trying to violently hold the skirt down or (b) trying to give her the fastest orgasm of her entire life by death gripping the crotch. She moves in on "closest man," for the most violent kiss the whole world has seen. Faces crushing, body parts meld together, he struggles to separate. Eventually this leads to him FORCING his hand in between their lips and turning (despite her pushing his face back with power). She is repelled; but "closest man" is not willing to give up the chance to score a threesome with "15 sheets to the wind" and "Dorothy (who is already down - where the fuck is toto).
She is dragged to the bathroom by "friends," and Dorothy. "15 sheets" is currently refusing to vomit whilst she is in the bathroom. She, after having let another chick and a random dude feel her in the vagina, feels that vomiting in the bathroom would be bad publicity. Good intensity. slut.
McGovern's, reeeaaaalllly, you have to pay for this??