Golden Globes 2010

I was up till 5am last night, so this will be admittedly half assed. I can’t skip, however, because Ricky Gervais is hosting, and he is the man. Finally these awards shows are getting smart and hiring people who are actually entertaining to host these things, and after NPH on the Tonys and Emmys, I have high hopes for Ricky.

It’s pouring rain for the arrivals, and I’m getting legitimately embarrassed for the NBC arrivals show team (awful, btw), because they keep awkwardly insulting people about being wet “your hair looks a little different this year… a little matted…”. Who are you to judge, D list entertainer? (I'm looking at you Vanessa Minnillo... it looks like you are going to a 2002 prom)

I hate Quentin Tarantino. Ugh. Do less coke dude. Just SHUT UP already. You look like a rapist in that duster, and It's Always Sunny in Philadelpha taught me that dusters are hilarious. Don't ruin it for me.

Quick comments about the football game that just ended. Jets. Wow. Nice game. I hope they get DESTROYED by the Colts, but a big day for New York, and Rex Ryan's general hilarity. For NFC Championships this weekend, hoping more for a good game than a particular team to win. As a Bears fan I'm supposed to hate the Vikings, but I can't bring myself to. I like the Saints this season, but I'd like to see Favre end his career with a Super Bowl. Also I've been saying all season that it will probably be a Saints-Colts Super Bowl, so maybe I'll seem smart if that's how it goes. Either way, want an NFC victory in the biggest game.

Let the digs at NBC begin. Just to register my opinion, I have always been a fan of Jay Leno in the Late Night Wars (meaning ONLY that I prefer him to Letterman, but I honestly almost never watch late night talk shows anyway, so my opinion is borderline irrelevant). Conan was on too late for me, and I find some of the stuff of his I see the next day on youtube to be entertaining, but I honestly don’t know him much at all. However, the way he has been treated by the network is sad. He has handled this well, and I wish him the best. I will still always prefer Stephen Colbert and Craig Ferguson for my late night hosts.

Monique wins for Precious. Whatever. I have no interest in this movie. Looks WAY too depressing for my taste. Toni Collette beats out two of my favorites (Tina Fey and Rachel from Glee) for best comedy actress on TV, but for all reviews I’ve heard, this is well deserved. NPH’s award is up. He looks nervous. I will be disappointed if he doesn’t take this home, per usual. John Lithgow. LAME. Apparently he’s awesome on Dexter, but he’s not NPH, so right now, he can die in a fire. How I Met Your Mother needs to stay on the air until NPH finally gets the Emmy he so richly deserves. Michael C. Hall beats out Hugh Laurie, and I don’t watch Dexter, so I’m not happy. But, good for him. Everything I hear about that show is amazing. I legitimately don’t care about any of the woman nominated for best actress in drama. Watch zero of the shows.

Starting the boring miniseries, foreign language and music awards. Catch ya in an hour or so.

Jennifer Aniston’s dress slit is out of control, but she looks great. She and Courteney Cox have both aged fantastically. Go Friends!

Mad Men wins best drama. No surprises here. If it had gone to True Blood, I might have boycotted forever. Not saying it’s not a decent show, but I’m WILDLY anti the vampire trend.

Aaaand in the commercial breaks I have discovered a sequel to the Planet Earth series… Planet Earth Extremes. As a direct result, I am skipping Martin Scorsese’s lifetime achievement award. Hope I don’t also miss the dead people montage… though there wasn’t one last year. Do the Golden Globes even do dead people montages?

GERVAIS JUST OWNED MEL GIBSON. That was awesome. “I like a drink as much as the next man, unless the next man is Mel Gibson.” Just phenomenal. I can't believe Mel didn't go ballistic, but, then, he seems like such a sane and calm human being.

GLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WINS best comedy TV series – SOOOOOOOOO HAPPY! Couldn’t have happened to a more deserving show! Mama Smurftastic finally started watching it, and she's a fan too... I hope this show keeps up its standards and has a long run, it's literally the happiest part of my week.

Mike Tyson with the cast of The Hangover. Wishing Zack Galifianakis was there, though, as he makes everything amazing. Hangover wins best comedy motion picture and I am wildly pro. Love that they are walking up to the stage to the “What do tigers dream of?” song as sung by Ed Helms. Love that R rated comedies are doing well. Love Todd Phillips ("I'm here for the gang bang.")… you make my life better. Please keep making movies... forever.

Sandra Bullock wins best actress in a drama for the Blind Side. I may actually have to see this movie. I do love sports movies and Sandra Bullock, but I thought this looked cheesy and figured it's a rental at best. I’ve been sold. Men’s comedy acting goes to Robert Downey Jr. He was great in Sherlock Holmes, and his acceptance speech was by far my favorite of the night. Not my favorite movie, but I enjoyed it. He is hilarious.

The Dude wins best drama actor for Crazy Horse. I know absolutely nothing about this movie. But I’m pro The Dude (just watched the Big Lebowski for the first time last week, and loved it). Meryl Streep's comedy win surprises no one. Really want to see Julie and Julia, because in my head I'm already a 49 year old cat lady.

Ready for bed. Let’s get this last award going. Julia Roberts seems awesome, just a fun chick to hang out with. Avatar wins, and I have to say I’m starting to revert back from wanting to see the movie (after holding out forever), to being a part of the backlash. Enough already. James Cameron’s hair is ridiculous, and when he spoke in his made-up language, I basically judged him for life.

Verdict – Ricky Gervais is still awesome, and would be if the rest of the show sucked (it didn't) for the Mel Gibson burn alone. Best dressed = Sandra Bullock, Jennifer Aniston, Dianna Agron , Worst dressed = Chloe Sevigny, Christina Aguilera.

Let me know what you think in the comments. Until next time...

Golden Globe Awards 2009

So it’s that time of year… my favorite… AWARDS SEASON! The legitimate awards kick off tonight with the Golden Globes… and true to my fans, I’m providing a short commentary as I watch… Apologies because this will be more sparse than normal, since due to flight delays, I arrived back from Winter break a day late, and am currently folding every single piece of clothing I own, which I had to wash because my neighbors got bed bugs (ew). I only slept an hour last night after getting back from the bars and then getting up to catch my replacement flight… so this will either be lazy and hilarious or lazy and lame… I’m not really sure how good my sense of humor can be as I’m putting everything I own in garbage bags… let’s see.

First off, NFL playoff games are ending for the weekend – I so far really enjoy the outcome of today’s games… the Giants get knocked out (lots of unhappy people at school tomorrow) and the Steelers are winning with about a minute to go… Since DJ Victorious is a Steelers fan and promised to take me to Pittsburgh if they make it to the bowl, I’m obvi rooting for them.

I’m watching with my friend Ginger McWeasley, so if he says anything awesome, I’ll let you know. Early predictions for the awards:
Ginger thinks Heath Ledger, as do I, but Tom Cruise or Robert Downey winning for Tropic Thunder would be hilarious
Best picture = no idea. I’ve seen none of these. Neither has Ginger.
TV Shows = I think 30 Rock, Ginger thinks the Office
Ginger thinks True Blood for best dramatic series because “there’s enough tits in that movie to make people vote for it. And they were GOOOOOD tits.”
I think Mad Men
I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to see Neil Patrick Harris (hereinafter NPH) win for best supporting actor in a TV Show.
Meryl Streep is a shoe in for something at least, because it’s Meryl Streep.
Ginger McWeasley thinks someone is going to fall down the stairs. I’m just looking forward to the drunks.

I totally just realized I have no idea who’s hosting… but Ginger tried to tell me it was Ted Danson, which would be AMAZING! Also if they ignore Roy Scheider in the dead people montage, you know the drill, I’m going on a rant.

Jennifer Lopez is out first. If she is the host I need to start drinking… IMMEDIATELY. Maybe there is no host. A girl can dream. She looks terrible… some sort of golden dress… she just shushed people… and I want to punch the TV for the first of many times this evening. Kate Winslet wins best supporting actress for The Reader… which I really want to see if it ever comes to a non-Indy theater. God I hate acceptance speeches. This is still going on. I could have knitted a sweater in the time it took her to thank unimportant people.

Sting presents best original song… since when is he brunette? I’m creeped out. Ginger predicts Springsteen… but likes Peter Gabriel. Well done Ginger. Springsteen calls out Clint Eastwood. Even though you’re from Jersey, dude, Eastwood could kill you with only a look… so watch out.

NP’s award is up. I love him SO MUCH. He does not look confident. I think Piven will get it. Again. Or Tom Wilkinson for John Adams. That shit wins EVERYTHING. Come on NPH! God damn it. Tom Wilkinson. But NPH will always be first in my heart.

Movie related question: Why is Don Cheadle in Hotel for Dogs? Isn’t he like a well renowned actor? Does he have no self respect?

Zac Efron makes an appearance. Big ups to Rum&Efron… good to see you yesterday. I like John Hamm or Hugh Laurie for best actor in a drama. I really just want to hear Hugh Laurie talk in his sexy accent. Gabriel Byrne wins, no huge surprise. Kevin Bacon looks awfully shiny. Ginger thinks his hair looks ridiculous. Ginger watches and loves True Blood, but he made a “something smells” face when Ana Paquin won for best actress. She should think about investing in braces. Just saying.

Ricky Gervais is being Ricky Gervais. He’s pretty awesome.

Jonas Brothers announce the award Miley Cyrus is nominated for = awkward. This award is OBVI going to Wall-E.

Ginger and I are rooting for best actress to go to Emma Thompson. Another English lady wins. Her teeth are RIDIC.

Ummmmmmmm who was in charge of Drew Barrymore’s hair and makeup? Cause that is unnecessary in so many ways.

Supporting Actor Award… this is obvi the big one of the night. Tom Cruise can’t stop laughing at himself. I would too, Les Grossman, I would too. Heath Ledger wins. No surprise.
Colin Farrel makes a cocaine joke and my love for him grows even more. Does it make me a bad person that I’m a little bit sad he’s sober now?

Sad turtle Maggie Gyllenhaal makes an appearance. She looks sad and turtle-like. And is also reading WAY too slowly.

Love that Alec Baldwin won for 30 Rock. I secretly want Jack Donaghey to be my boss.

WTF happened to Renee Zelwegger? I mean she was never that great looking, but she looks like she aged 20 years overnight. And fired her stylist and hired Sharon Stone instead.

Tracy Morgan accepts for 30 Rock. He is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO high right now. Love him.

I’m really fading here… something awesome needs to happen. Where is the dead people montage?

Kate Winslet has won for both supporting actress and best actress. She seems genuinely surprised… I think I find her quite endearing.

Mad Men = no surprise.

Mickey Rourke takes home best actor. I’m pretty excited to hear his speech. I hope it’s a big bucket full of crazy. Ginger has left the building, but he missed Mickey tripping up the stage, just as he predicted. He is surprisingly coherent. I’m disappointed.

Slumdog Millionaire wins… I really have no interest in seeing this movie. I’m passing out. It’s been real. I'll be dreaming of dead people montages, because I missed out this year.

See you at the Oscars, if not before.