The BBCS Final Analysis!!!!

Alright. This is it. The FINAL BBCS rankings. All the bands left, letters N-Z. Get excited.

New Edition

• Strength of Schedule 2 - pretty much only in competition with NKOTB in their early years
• Overcoming adversity 3 - Bobby Brown, but at least he left in 86
• Album Sales 2- only #1 album in the US was their 1996 album. Honestly, who bought a New Edition album in 96?????, but had other successful albums
• Tour/Merchandise 1 - not much wikipedia info on tours... apparently had Bobby Brown as an opening act on a 1987-88 tour
• Artistic Performance 3 - extra points for awesome choreography and ridiculously high pitched voices
• Alumni Success 3 - Bobby Brown had a relatively successful album, married Whitney Houston, and got super cracked out. And DON'T FORGET about 3 members forming Bel Biv DeVoe. (ABC, BBD, The East Coast Family...)
• USA Today/Coaches Poll 5 - DJVictorious once told me she is a huge fan. Smurftastic thinks Candy Girl is a great song
• Miscellaneous 3 - Madonna was one of their opening acts, but they had a song called "Popcorn Love"
• Post-success nostalgia 1 - eh.... a bit... but they are in the studio now working on their eighth album... EW

Total Score: 23

Next

• Strength of Schedule 5 - around beginning in 97 - same time as NSYNC, BSB and others
• Overcoming Adversity 2 were managed by a member of a group called Sounds of Blackness, lots of horrible naming involved... for example their second album was called Welcome II Nextasy... eew...
• Album Sales 3 - "Too Close" went to number one... won a bunch of Billboard awards
• Tour/Merchandise 1 - no info on tours... probably
• Artistic Performance 1 - points for the fact that their name (Next) stands for Noone Ever Expected This. CLASSY
• Alumni Success 1 - still together. Maybe Tweety is doing some big things... who knows
• USA Today/Coaches Poll 2- hates herself for it... but Smurftastic likes "Too Close"... not enough to buy an album... but it's catchy
• Miscellaneous 1 Their original name was Straight4ward - could have been included in the numbers group, group member nicknames include "R.L.", "T-Low" and Deponce (that is listed as his actual name. You are both cool and probably a future guest on Maury. Former member nicknamed Tweety
• Post-success nostalgia 1 - not really... although who isn't nostalgic about singing a song where a girl feels a guy's boner while they're dancing. HOT

Total Score 17

The Osmonds

• Strength of Schedule 3 - most successful in the 70s... not a ton of boybands to deal with, but bubblegum pop and otherwise awesome music was EVERYWHERE
• Overcoming Adversity 3 - Mormons... so probably didn't take FULL advantage of the groupie ass. Plus had both big teeth and big hair
• Album Sales 2 - had a #1 single... but didn't particularly blow up the album charts
• Tour/Merchandise 2 - not a huge touring act... but had the usual 70s lunchboxes and other such merchandise
• Artistic Performance 3 - on one of their later albums, actually wrote all their own songs and played their own instruments. Bonus points for the glittery bell bottoms. Those were HOT
• Alumni Success 4 - The 4 other Osmond bros still perform together in Branson. Donny kicked ass in both Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat in Chicago AND Mulan (Somehow he'll... make a MAN... out of YOUUUUUUU). Donny and sister Marie had a talk show in the 90s that Smurftastic FULLY enjoyed
• USA Today/Coaches Poll 4 - Smurftastic fully enjoys the Osmonds.. and yes, once went to a Donny Osmond concert with her Mom in Springfield. She knows you are jealous
• Miscellaneous 2 apparently crazy Osmond fans were called "Osmania"... original guys; Alan's 8 kids formed "The Osmonds Second generation" or 2ndG...
• Post-success nostalgia 4 - oh the nostalgia is still there. Smurftastic witness baby boomer women FLIPPING OUT and rushing the stage at Donny's concert... a sad glimpse into her future she thinks

Total Score 27

SoulDecision

• Strength of Schedule 5 - came out in 99
• Overcoming Adversity 0 - no info about it... whatever
• Album Sales 1 - had like 2 hit singles and their first album went platinum once... that's about it
• Tour/Merchandise 1 - only one small tour
• Artistic Performance 1 - one of the boy band pioneers of featuring a rap verse.
• Alumni Success 0 - one guy left in 04 to pursue a solo career... still waiting expectantly for it to come out...
• USA Today/Coaches Poll 1 - faded is a pretty sweet song, not gonna lie
• Miscellaneous 2 - Were Canadian!!!!! YESSSSSSSSS
• Post-success nostalgia 1 - enjoyed that it was featured on the ultimate boy band throwback album... "Now That's What I Call Music Vol. 4"

Total Score 12

Take That

• Strength of Schedule 1 - big era was 1990-96... nothing huge boy band wise... the end of NKOTB and Boyz II Men... but these guys were off in England
• Overcoming Adversity 2 - Robbie Williams didn't like his clean cut image, so started to party with Oasis... God Oasis is AWESOME...
• Album Sales 3 - some of the biggest selling albums in the UK in the 90s belonged to Take That - also according to Wikipedia, "Take That are one of only seven acts in the history of the British Singles Chart whose tally of number ones is in double figures."
• Tour/Merchandise 2 no real info here - except went on a 2006 Ultimate Tour when they reunited
• Artistic Performance 1 - no idea, but Smurftastic has a HUGE weakness for British accents... good for them
• Alumni Success 2 - Robbie Williams did pretty well on the overplayed department ("Millenium" anyone?), the other guys had some low key solo careers or acting gigs... reunited and are now recording an album
• USA Today/Coaches Poll 1 - the accents are good, but Smurftastic can't recall any of their songs. She thinks when they were big she was probably in her "I hate pop music" phase. That was a sad phase
• Miscellaneous 1 got their name from a quote by Madonna. Are they trying to tell us something?
• Post-success nostalgia 0 - sorry... none really.

Total Score 13

The Temptations

• Strength of Schedule 3 - higher score here because they are still around, and have been since the 1960s... solid effort, guys
• Overcoming Adversity 3 - couldn't have been easy being an all black group in the 60s. Also from Detroit. That's a tough town, man
• Album Sales 4 - 22 million sold by 1982... that's pretty impressive
• Tour/Merchandise 3 tons of tours when they were big, now splinter groups and reunion tours are still makin' the rounds
• Artistic Performance 3 - matching suits and choreography. Mamma likey
• Alumni Success 3 a spinoff of the group is still around. NICE
• USA Today/Coaches Poll 2 - that shit is catchy... don't deny it
• Miscellaneous 3 - according to Wikipedia, "In 2004, Rolling Stone Magazine ranked The Temptations #67 on their list of the 100 Greatest Artists of All Time."; Duran Duran also covered one of their songs
• Post-success nostalgia 3 - there's something not trustworthy about people who don't at least tap their toes to the Temptations.

Total Score 27

Village People

• Strength of Schedule 2 around from the 70s to today... nice job guys
• Overcoming Adversity 2 - gay icons. And actual real gay icons... not closeted like most of the rest of the boy bands
• Album Sales 5 - 85 million albums sold. Wow. Are there really 85 million Karaoke machines and wedding DJ's out there? Oh and don't forget cruise ships
• Tour/Merchandise 2 - even opened for Los Lonely Boys in 2004. NICE
• Artistic Performance 3 - just look at the costumes.
• Alumni Success 1 - still around, but with newer band members
• USA Today/Coaches Poll 1 - its annoying, but Smurftastic is a wanna be cruise director, and can't resist any type of choreography
• Miscellaneous 1 - tried to become New Wave artists in the 80s, and released an album called sex over the phone
• Post-success nostalgia 5 - COME ON... its the YMCA. Favorite of cruise directors everywhere

Total Score - 22

Wham!

• Strength of Schedule 2 - 1981-1986... whatever
• Overcoming Adversity 2 - their name was Wham!... and look at their hair. that is adversity if I've ever seen it
• Album Sales 2 - 3 number one US singles, and pretty big in the UK
• Tour/Merchandise 2 - did a couple of arena tours... nothing ginormous
• Artistic Performance 1 - quite a bit of snapping fingers and bopping back and forth... plus those choose life shirts were pretty hot
• Alumni Success 2.5 - George Michael did big(ish) things and got arrested a few times... plus came out of the closet. HUGE surprise
• USA Today/Coaches Poll 2 - Smurftastic LOVES "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go" because its so ridiculous... but that's about it
• Miscellaneous 1 - What the hell is Andrew Ridgeley doing now?
• Post-success nostalgia 2 - pretty much symbols of the 80s

Total Score 16.5

Youngstown

• Strength of Schedule 5 - 1998 - NSYNC and BSB time
• Overcoming Adversity 1 - named after a city in Ohio. Seems kind of ridiculous to me
• Album Sales 1 - pretty much big on the soundtrack circuit - they were the band with the Inspector Gadget song... also on Princess Diaries
• Tour/Merchandise 1 - did a Disney in concert special (at the same time Smurftastic was in Disneyworld... she didn't go... but thought about it)
• Artistic Performance 1 - wore Gadget trenchcoats in the video. I wonder if they had Go Go Gadget Gadgets in there. That would have been AWESOME
• Alumni Success 1 - 2 of the 3 members are now doing a duet album, the other is living out of the spotlight
• USA Today/Coaches Poll 1 - Smurftastic is embarrassed to admit, but she thinks that the Inspector Gadget song is catchy
• Miscellaneous 1 - also appeared on the Pokemon soundtrack... Pokemon is HORRIBLE... I judge them
• Post-success nostalgia 0 - ummmm I may be the only person who has ever actually heard of them. Whatever

Total Score - 12