The BBCS part Thrice!!!

Ok, for all those who missed me... I'm back to finish up these BBCS updates. So far we've learned about the abbreviators and the dudes w/ numbers in their names, and for lack of a better way to categorize... I give you.... BOY BANDS LEFT IN THE BBCS UP THROUGH THE LETTER M.

The Beatles:

• Strength of Schedule 4 - not exactly primo time for Boy Bands between 1960 and 1970... but probably the strongest musical era of all time.
• Overcoming adversity 3 - lost their original drummer and had to pick up a dude named Ringo. Lots of drugs, fighting and Yoko. Problem is, they didn't really overcome that adversity well... they broke up. Yoko sucks. Anway... they were only around for 10 years, and the world needed them for much longer; Plus, in the 80s... Michael Jackson bought the rights to almost all their songs. And now is crazy. Good times
• Album Sales 5 - still destroying the charts even after two of them are dead.
• Tour/Merchandise 4 - didn't tour after August 29, 1966... just made AMAZING studio albums. Still selling merchandise like crazy though, although didn't really have marionette dolls while they were alive (ahem, NSYNC)
• Artistic Performance 5 - probably the greatest band of all time as far as being creative and unique with their music but still selling TONS of albums. Extra points for Sgt. Pepper's and the White Album for creative covers and fun outfits
• Alumni Success 4 - John was quite successful with solo albums till some crazy dude shot him, Ringo made country albums, George made stuff about being Hindu and awesome, and Paul had Wings (subpar... but still not too shabby), amazing live albums, and Heather Mills being a whorebag and divorcing him. They will still always be "The Beatles," and never as successful apart as they were together... but not too bad if you can get it.
• USA Today/Coaches Poll 5 - Smurftastic's favorite band of all time... she judges all those who say they don't like the Beatles, and also doesn't understand you.
• Miscellaneous 4 - fewer points here cause they aren't really a boy band... they are too awesome. And one of the few bands who was ever able to truly outgrow the bubble gum pop phase and still be successful. However, get kid points: Julian Lennon shares Smurftastic's bday, and Stella McCartney is one of her favorite fashion designers.
• Post-success nostalgia 5 - its the Beatles for crappsakes. All you have to do is look at the success of their compilation albums (Anthology, 1, among others) and their new Vegas show. They are the shit and a half.

Total Score - 38

Boyzone:

• Strength of Schedule 3 - around 1993-2000... so the tail end of NKOTB/Boyz II Men era and the beginning of the NSYNC era
• Overcoming adversity 3 - from Ireland, not exactly known as a hotbed of musical activity, Stephen Gately came out of the closet, and his boyfriend's name was Eloy de Jong (ridiculous), and he was a Dutch boyband singer
• Album Sales 2 - apparently their first four albums went to #1 in the UK. Also have a bunch of compilation CDs... Smurftastic cannot name a single song of theirs.
• Tour/Merchandise 2 - apparently sold out a tour (35,000 tickets in Ireland) in less than 4 hours. But no idea anything about merchandise
• Artistic Performance 1 - no idea at all... assuming artistic performance was minimal because their name was non-creative
• Alumni Success 2 - one of them has a solo career, the gay one does well in West End musicals, one is a music producer, one is on a British soap opera, and one was on "Celebrity Love Island"... Smurftastic still doesn't know any of their names off hand
• USA Today/Coaches Poll 2 - Smurftastic has only heard of them, not any of their songs or names.. but Mama Smurftastic LOVES whatever Boyzone song they played on her light rock radio station
• Miscellaneous 1 - Colin Farrel tried out to be in the Band and didn't make it!!!!! Young female celebs he devirginized say "thank you."
• Post-success nostalgia 1 - none.

Total Score: 17

Backstreet Boys

• Strength of Schedule 5 - around during the boy band explosion of the late 90s
• Overcoming adversity 3 - one of their members was named Howie. Otherwise, not that cute... and weren't very good dancers. Also, were put together by captain creep (Lou Pearlman) himself
• Album Sales 4 - Wikipedia estimates that they have sold over 100 million albums worldwide. However, their first week sales were DESTROYED by a certain awesome band (NSYNC)
• Tour/Merchandise 4 - Apparently sold over 1 million tickets to their Black & Blue tour in 24 hours. HOWEVER, Smurftastic went to one of their earlier shows. Garbage. They tried to be cool w/ a circular stage, but Howie was on her side the entire time. Plus Kevin had a piano that dropped from the ceiling. Cheesy. Big merchandise sales, though. Wikipedia says that over $14 million in merchandise was sold during their 1999 tour, and have sold over 200 million books.
• Artistic Performance 4 - their slower songs were (admittedly) better than NSYNC, and their vocal talents were greater... but they weren't as good at the fun beats and the dancing. Plus lacking a bit of personality, if you ask Smurftastic.
• Alumni Success 3 - got back together after Nick Carter put out a rock solo album (haha). Nick and his family had a show on E! about their dysfunction. Kevin has since left the band to perform in musicals. AJ went to rehab. Wikipedia says a new album is going to be released in July.
• USA Today/Coaches Poll 4 - despite the NSYNC Loyalties... Smurftastic can't really hate on BSB. Their earlier albums were decent, even though the concert was subpar... she's a fan.
• Miscellaneous 3 - Special thanks to Nick Carter for getting famous and opening the door to a certain someone named Aaron Carter, who gifted the world with such musical gems as "Come Get It" and "That's How I Beat Shaq": he even sang a song and did a video with his brother. HILARIOUS. Also, "The Perfect Fan" is an adorable mother's day song. Also... please enjoy this excerpt from the Wikipedia page: - "In 2000, the Backstreet Boys teamed with Stan Lee to produce a Web-based franchise named The Backstreet Project which chronicled the adventures of the Backstreet Boys as cyber-crusaders. The project debuted as a limited-edition collector's comic book that was sold exclusively at Backstreet Boys concerts. The animated series was launched on the Web in the summer of 2000 using Macromedia Flash animation and was sold out on the first day." - BAAAAhahahahahahahaha
• Post-success nostalgia 4 - awwwwwww... remember the "Thriller"-like dance to Everybody (Backstreet's Back) and that one video at the airport to the song that didn't really make sense???? Good times.

Total Score - 34

Color Me Badd

• Strength of Schedule 3 - around in the early 90s... had to deal w/ NKOTB and Boyz II Men, but that's about it
• Overcoming adversity 3 - for starters, their name was Color me Badd. Also they were pretty unfortunate looking.
• Album Sales 1 - had one major hit (featuring "I Wanna Sex You Up" and other big singles), but other than that, not too much
• Tour/Merchandise 1 - nothing on Wikipedia about any tour or merchandise. Don't think Smurftastic's sister ever saw them in concert, and that's about the time frame.
• Artistic Performance 2 - artistry really present only in the name here, and provocative lyrics. Because telling a girl you want to Sex her up is clearly the best way to get into her pants. Lieutenant Andy Baldwin probably used that line on Bevin.
• Alumni Success 1 - HA you've GOT to be kidding. One is an insurance agent, one married an American Idol contestant, and one was apparently on the VH1 reality show "Man Band"
• USA Today/Coaches Poll 1 - only funny for their name and HORRIBLE song
• Miscellaneous 2 - Billboard apparently says they are the 7th most successful band of the nineties, won some American Music Awards
• Post-success nostalgia 3 - thank YOU "Dick in a Box"

Total Score - 17

Dreamstreet
Instead of giving you actual information about this band, Smurftastic is instead tempted to just use the first line of the Wikipedia entry to give them a score of one: The group was initially put together by producers Louis Baldonieri and Brian Lukow and titled 'Boy Wonder', it featured several 11-14 year old boys from the New York Broadway/Acting scene. To be fair, however..... let's give them a real ranking

• Strength of Schedule 4 - Only around for 4 years... but during, again, the NSYNC BSB era
• Overcoming adversity 2 - their original name was "Boy Wonder." Enough said. The boys also sued their producers and won... but then were NEVER allowed to perform together again. The listeners are CLEARLY the losers in that situation.
• Album Sales 1 - Gold albums are for the weak
• Tour/Merchandise 1 - no info on Wikipedia
• Artistic Performance 1 - HA! Seriously??? Their biggest market was Nickelodeon commercials and radio Disney
• Alumni Success 2 - Jesse McCartney had a REALLY ANNOYING song and was on some WB show that my female roommates used to like. The rest of the guys... apparently you can find their solo music on their myspace pages... SCORE
• USA Today/Coaches Poll 1 - because Smurftastic feels bad about giving zeros, especially when she has NO IDEA about any of the songs these guys sing.
• Miscellaneous 1 - Broadway background???? Whatever.
• Post-success nostalgia 1 - Nope. If any of the readers really remember them... I almost feel bad for you. And I'M the loser blogging about boy bands in the first place

Total Score: 14

Hanson

• Strength of Schedule 5 - according to Wikipedia have been around since 1992... so lived through both the NKOTB and the end of Boyz II Men era AND NSYNC and BSB eras... good job guys
• Overcoming adversity 3 - well were pretty awkward. And brothers. And sang the song MMM Bop. By choice. Clearly adversity if I've ever seen it
• Album Sales 3 - their first album went platinum four times, one other platinum album and a gold album... plus at least 3 others on the charts
• Tour/Merchandise 2 - in 98... had an apparently successful tour called the Albertane tour. Also lots of unauthorized books sold. Smurftastic kind of recalls there being dolls... but no guarantees; could just be a hallucination
• Artistic Performance 3 - played their own instruments... seemed to spend quite a bit of time growing their hair.
• Alumni Success 1 - still together. The middle one got married really young. Smurftastic had no idea that either of the last two albums existed.
• USA Today/Coaches Poll 2 - Smurftastic is embarrassed to admit it... but she really enjoyed the This Time Around album
• Miscellaneous 1 - May 6, 1997, was declared 'Hanson Day' in Tulsa by Oklahoma's then-governor . Thank YOU Wikipedia
• Post-success nostalgia 2 - at one point (aka college) MM Bop was PRETTY hilarious when it came on when we were all wasted at some sort of theme party. Then we felt bad about it.

Total Score: 22

Menudo

• Strength of Schedule 4 - 1977-1996... Around for a long time. Extra points just for that.
• Overcoming adversity 3 - Boys replaced as soon as they turned 16. Most of them were probably even too young to bang groupies. Ouch.
• Album Sales 3 - almost 37 albums listed on Wikipedia. WOW...
• Tour/Merchandise 3 - "The Brazilian tour in 1985 was really successful, with more than a million fans, mostly teen girls, attending, but it was poorly organized. In a concert in Rio de Janeiro, the capacity was 60,000 but 70,000 tickets were sold and two women died. In São Paulo, a 100,000 capacity stadium was sold-out with 200,000 people. And in a stadium in Campinas, a city of São Paulo, it rained and the concert was delayed for 4 hours. In Fortaleza, the group had the same number of police around them as the Pope, when he visited the city." - Thanks for the info, Wikipedia
• Artistic Performance 1 - booo... just boy bands... No real dancing. Lots of skipping, methinks
• Alumni Success 3 - Ricky Martin. Got hot candle wax dripped on him. Danced. A lot. NICE. Apparently MTV Tres is holding auditions this year for the new members
• USA Today/Coaches Poll 1 - Smurftastic was probably too young to fully appreciate Menudo. She also doesn't speak spanish.
• Miscellaneous 1 - changed their name to MDO in 1997. Should maybe have been included in the abbreviators
• Post-success nostalgia 2 - Menudo as a whole is pretty hilarious. Once saw the older members reunite on Regis and Kelly. Pretty awkward/hilarious

Total Score: 21

The Moffats

• Strength of Schedule 2 - have been around since 1990, but rode the book boy band popularity of the late 90s to pop stardom
• Overcoming adversity 1 - although some would say the fact they are Canadian is adversity... but they are wrong
• Album Sales 1 - Wikipedia doesn't even have a website on them... so probably, not.
• Tour/Merchandise 1 - please see above
• Artistic Performance 1 - Ha!
• Alumni Success 1 - No idea. At. All.
• USA Today/Coaches Poll 0 - the name the Moffats always reminds Smurftastic of Mullets. She wishes they had mullets, because writing about them would be more interesting
• Miscellaneous 2 - the band was made up of a big brother, and then triplet brothers. Triplets are pretty rare... worth a couple of points
• Post-success nostalgia 1 - does anyone really remember them??? Anyone???

Total Score: 10

The Monkees

• Strength of Schedule 3 - around from 65-70... same time as Jackson 5, British invasion, and 60s pop explosion
• Overcoming adversity 3 - always considered a Beatles knockoff... but there are worse things to be thought of as... plus John Lennon was a fan; also they wanted to be able to play their own instruments, but their producers wouldn't let them.
• Album Sales 4 - quite a few number one and top 5 albums
• Tour/Merchandise 2 - toured quite a bit, but had to use guest musicians, and when they tried to play themselves, it was awkward
• Artistic Performance 3 - didn't really have a lot of power over their own music, but still had some coordinated swaying, and that's always good times.
• Alumni Success
• USA Today/Coaches Poll 5 - Smurftastic considers the Monkees an official guilty pleasure. Much like all boy bands. Plus the brady bunch episode was hilarious
• Miscellaneous 4 as mentioned above, Davy Jones was on the Brady Bunch. And in the Brady Bunch movie. Plus they wore ridiculous 60s clothes. Good times.
• Post-success nostalgia 4 VHI had a Monkees TV show marathon, and it got awesome ratings. Go figure.

Total Score: 28