Rooster hates you, we judge you.

Showing posts with label Boy Band. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Boy Band. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Top 10 Long Term Celebrity Crushes

OK. So I'm keeping the intro short, cause this is gonna be LONG entry. Since I stole from KSquizz's twitter idea about long term celebrity crushes, I couldn't keep the list to just five, and within the twitter length limits. So here is the one rule - we must have been "mildly stalking these men for at least the last 5 years." That's it. My picks are first then KSquizz's follow. Comments are in small font below.

Smurftastic #10 = Jason Bateman. Ever since the Hogan Family I knew there was something about him. Then there was Arrested Development. And now I will see movies I otherwise would have no desire to see just because he's in them.

KSquizz - So I remembered Jason Bateman as one of the doofy twins on the Hogan family and vaguely remembered there was a hot older brother. But according to my extensive research (2 minutes of googling) he was the hot older brother? So yeah you were right to love him from then on. I am new to Arrested Development, but his relationship with Michael Cera makes me want to have his babies. (Also, Michael Cera makes it onto my reasons I am a borderline pedophile list also featuring the werewolf from Twilight and the littlest Jonas Brother.) Also, his character in Dodgeball was so awesome he should have won an oscar, just saying. Good pick.

K Squizz # 10 - Bradley Cooper. He is the most recent addition to this list since I discovered him in "I Want to Marry Ryan Banks" where he played the sidekick to Jason Priestley who eventually gets the girl. Oh ABC family, you are just wonderful. Since then, he has popped up as secondary characters or villains in a lot of stuff, including super douche Sack Lodge in Wedding Crashers. Since he often plays fratty types, I am pretty sure he is one in real life. But I am okay with that. As mentioned in the Twitter list, he loses some of his appeal because he is the new hot thing thanks to The Hangover, but I really wanted "Kitchen Confidential" to be a success for him so I guess I should be happy for him. His sudden appearance on the A List has all but killed any chance of he and I finding love. :( But Bradley, squished face Zewellger? (Yeah, I refuse to spell check that. Scew you, Squishy.) Not okay, Brad. Not okay.

Smurftastic - SOLID pick. He is actually my latest, and most intense, celebrity obsession. Mainly the addition of the floppy hair from The Hangover makes me super weak in the knees. 1) WHAT IS WRONG WITH FRATTY DUDES? And 2) how do you ditch Jen Aniston for Zelwegger, who is well past her adorable, not-creepily-skinny Jerry Maguire days? Could be sick in the head. Ugh.

KSquizz - In response to your BCoop response (yep, we are on a nickname basis in our imaginary relationship), I do have a special place in my heart for Fratty boys, but I require them to have a heart of gold. He might to Sack Lodgey in real life.

Smurftastic #9 = Lucas Johnson. Yes, I'll be ridiculously surprised (and impressed) if you've ever heard of him, but he used to play basketball for the Fighting Illini. He graduated my senior year of high school. Not a huge point scorer, but definitely the life and badass-ness of the team. My sister and I shared an obsession through his college career, culminating in me regularly buying him drinks at Kam's (home of the Drinking Illini) every time he comes back to campus to visit/score free drinks off of groupies like me (and my father... who buys him and his buddies beer by the pitcher). My senior year I made him hang out with the freshman girls from my sorority, and had the awkward "who is this guy?" chat with them, with him sitting right next to me. This obsession/mild stalking/crush has continued even past my college days, namely, when I venture back for Homecoming. I always said I wasn't truly a jersey-chaser in college, cause I really preferred the dudes who had already graduated. I have enclosed a picture for your reference, but really, the attitude is what I love. PS - his brother also played for U of I before I became a true fan = even hotter.
Smurftastic, keeping former college ball players relevant since 2001. http://www.fightingillini.com/sports/m-baskbl/mtt/johnson_lucas00.html

KSquizz - Rogue to pick a pseudo celeb who you have actually met, but I feel like that has probably made the obsession that much stronger. I can't wait until you guys get married and then have to get couples counseling because he sees this online. I know zip about him, but he seems like a giant, and you are so small so that makes me happy. Hopefully, he hasn't gotten the former athlete fats.

KSquizz #9 = Ryan Reynolds. I really did love him as snarky med student Berg [Ed note - 2 Guys and a Girl). Let's not lie. He is outrageously hot, and he has such range as an actor: wise ass college student, wise ass waiter, wise ass vampire slayer, and wise ass super hero. I would guess that Ryan Reynolds is a bit of a wise ass. But as long as he is shirtless in every role ever, he could be a wise ass plumber, and I would watch. I saw Blade Trinity in the theater for him, despite my undying hatred for Jessica Biel. There was a time where I believed I could actually date him because of the Alanis thing. Perhaps, he was a little bit blind? But now he is married to ScarJo. So much for that.

Smurftastic - Fact that he's Canadian = bonus points... He loses points because of the ScarJo thing (stripper lips and her in general turn me off), but I'd still hit it.

Smurftastic #8 = Donny Osmond. One of the first times I realized boys could be cute instead of just yucky was when I was approximately 8 years old and went to see him in Chicago in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. It wasn't him in the loincloth that did it, it was the picture in the playbook. I said something to the likes of "oh without the ridiculous hair he's way cute" to my mother or my sister or whoever was sitting by me. From there I was hooked on his Mormon goodness, and had officially entered the realm of having crushes on celebrities. I became obsessed with the Joseph soundtrack, and spent more than one summer watching the Donny & Marie talk show every single day. Then I was made aware of "I'll Make a Man Out of You" from Mulan, which became one of my favorite Disney songs of all time. I loved it to the point where my high school friend and I chanted "Mulan... Mulan" over and over again when we went to his concert (yes, concert) with my mother. Eff Puppy Love, I wanted him to be mysterious as the dark side of the moon. He didn't sing it [Ed note - sadface]. He and Marie were in Vegas over 09 spring break performing at the same hotel where we were staying and despite my constant begging, my friends wouldn't go (some friends, the sluts). That didn't stop my from posing for pictures in front of cardboard cutout promo pics of him. Now he's going to be on Dancing with the Stars, and judging by the cheesiness of his solo press picture and the energy of his first two dances, it's going to be awesome (or ridiculous, or both). The man isn't hot, per se, but he is way cute in a puppy dog (Puppy Love?) kind of way, and I love it. Plus he seems like a good person, which is nice balance to some of the sex fiends on this list.

KSquizz - I won't lie. I do not get the Donny Osmond thing. He looks like a human bobble-head doll to me. But I don't dislike him, I simply find him asexual.

KSquizz #8 = Keanu Reeves - So I obviously became aware of Keanu's existence when he created all that Oscar buzz as Ted "Theodore" Logan. He didn't do it for me then, though. He was a slacker, stoner kid, and that isn't so much my thing. Also, I was like 5, and most boys had cooties still. However, I am, however, attracted to multi-racial, cocky, bomber-stopping LA cops with surfer accents and a heart of gold so Keanu and I fell in love when he made Speed. Seriously, he is outrageously hot in that movie. I literally watched Speed two nights ago and was still completely into him. Since then, I have seen a significant portion of his work, and it has all delivered: Point Break, Dracula, The Devil's Advocate, Matrix, Constanine,Replacements, etc. (It probably helps that I enjoy fanboy type movies and never saw his misguided attempt at Shakespeare.) For me, he has stood the test of time. I don't know how but he has maybe aged 5 years in the 20 I have been aware of him. I get that his acting is not the greatest, and he is a joke to a solid percentage of the population, but I love him. I have read his wiki page more than once for fun. A sign of true love. To conclude this paragraph of devotion to "cool breeze over the mountains" (oh that is what Keanu means), I am linking you to this slideshow which features Keanu's acting range. Yeah it is making fun of him, but he still looks hot so it is win win. .http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2008/12/a_field_guide_to_the_complete.html

Smurftastic - Keanu - Point Break is one of the greatest movies ever made (read, Swayze obit), but I never truly found he was that hot till he was romancing Diane Keaton in Somethings Gotta Give. Sigh... when I'm old I want a hot doctor to fall for me. With floppy hair no less. Also...




Smurftastic #7 = Matthew Perry. Started the crush when he was Carol's BF Sandy on Growing Pains (even though he died in a drunk driving accident on what was, I’m sure “a very special episode” that parents should watch with their kids)... fully developed into Chandler obsession. Chandler Bing, though fictional, may be my ideal man. Cute, but not in an intimidating way, and sarcastic… but in a funny, not a mean way. OK it’s kind of mean, but it’s definitely funny. It is my personal goal for my sense of humor to be as much like Chandler’s as possible. Usually that just presents itself as me quoting him. A lot. Also, the way he proposed to Monica still makes me tear up and I've seen it WELL over 50 times. It's one of the two "perfect proposals for Smurftastic" on this list. [Ed note, see also #5, and if you put them together, she'll be yours forever.] My love for Chandler and all things Matthew Perry led me to watch Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip for it’s entirely too short run. That became, quite possibly, my favorite television show of all time, and Matt Albie’s head writer/exec producer was the perfect mix of wit and complications for a Sorkin drama. Perry seems an unlikely romantic leading man, but his role in Studio 60 solidified him for me. I now spend weekends creeping on him on IMDB and renting his latest indie flicks. I count the days till he makes his return to TV, if that ever happens. Not to mention the man is Canadian, and not only a tennis fan, but my understanding is that he’s also an excellent player. Sigh. Couldn’t be more perfect for Smurftastic….

KSquizz - I think you are right that Chandler Bing is the ideal man. He also strikes me as totally attainable which is something else. I also am a big fan of Fools Rush In, his chick flick with Salam Hayek. I will watch it every time it comes on TBS.

KSquizz #7 = Nathan Fillion - Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place was not all bad. (I am pretty sure the pizza place eventually got cut from the title- unimportant.) Not only did it lead to my discovery of Ryan Reynolds, another hot Canadian burst onto my scene, the lovely and talented, Nathan Fillion. Since then, he was on Buffy which means hecan do no wrong for me. If you can find any Sci-Fi enjoyable, you must watch Firefly/Serenity. His character may in fact be the perfect man, and completely cements Fillion as a crush-worthy actor. I am sure people who aren’t familiar with him will probably still recognize him as he pops up all over, most notably as the doctor who Felicity loves in Waitress and as Kate’s almost husband on Lost. He is currently the star of Castle, where he is snarky and awesome. Also, he sings and is hilarious as Captain Hammer in “Dr. Horrible’s Sing A Long Blog.” Never saw it? Go hulu it or download it on itunes, immediately. I will wait. (Three Joss Whedon shows and Lost? Yes, I am a nerd.) So his career appeals to me, obviously, but there is more. Nathan is like PRINCE CHARMING HANDSOME. Look at him. That jaw! Those eyes! Yum. He also manages to be adorable and lovable in everything he does. His characters, even when they are douche bags or bad guys, are likable or at least enjoyable to watch. My stalking has reached a new level now that I follow him on Twitter. (He is the only man on this list who holds that honor.) The “following”, which even sounds like stalking, has led to an even greater obsession because he is hilarious and sweet and likable. I now find myself constantly rooting for him to succeed. I am like doing PR for him for free. It’s love.

Smurftastic - I'm least familiar w/ him, but I watched 5 mins of Castle last night and found him adorable/riveting. Plus he's apparently friends with NPH. TOTAL BONUS. And Canadian. Additional bonus. Sidenote - the two who I follow on twitter thusfar are Donny, Jordan, and Matthew, in case you care.

Smurftastic #6 - JC Chasez, formerly of the band NSYNC, currently of the show “America’s Best Dance Crew,” permanently of my heart. Well done, MTV, for taking a show I’d never watch otherwise (and probably actively avoid), and put the high school love of my life on it for brief moments. Well done, JC, for having a career beyond the solo albums, and being a pretty great producer these days. My love for JC was borne out of 2 things: 1 – when I discovered NSYNC, I didn’t want to pick Justin as my favorite, because EVERYONE liked Justin. Every so often, I crave originality. 2 – on my NSYNC *N The Mix VHS (which I still have, obvi) and the Disney In-Concert special, JC came off as the most educated about the art of music as well as about the industry. He plays piano and creates jazz/classical versions of some NSYNC songs. My heart partially melted. Heart fully FULLY melted when I saw the NSYNC edition of the old VHI show “Before They Were Stars,” and they show JC’s Mickey Mouse Club audition video. Pretty much the cutest thing ever when tween aged JC sings Richard Marx’s Right Here Waiting for You. Then came Disney Channel re-airing the Mickey Mouse Clubs on a “Where’d you MMC them first” weekend (Featuring Justin, Britney, Christina, JC, Ryan Gosling, Keri Russel, etc). Just. Awesome. Not to mention JC has the dark hair green/blue eyes thing going for him. That’s my fave. Pretty sure there isn’t anything he could do to make me not love him, especially after that part of their No Strings Attached Concert DVD where they sing Digital Get Down. If you’ve ever spent more than 2 hours in my apartment, you probably know what it is. I’ve shown it to you. If not, you’re missing out. Also he’s pretty good friends with Chace Crawford (Gossip Girl’s Nate) now. That’s a lot of hotness to be present together. Just saying.

KSquizz - Oh how I once loved J.C. Chasez. He was my love on MMC. In fact, as I was writing my Ryan Gosling paragraph I had a moment where I remembered J.C singing "Right Here Waiting for You." Adorable. He was my favorite NSyncer, too. And I also owned/constantly watched NSYNC in the Mix and the Disney Channel Concert Special. J.C. and I broke up though when he launched his solo career. "Some Girls Dance with Women" Oh, J.C. Terrible. Also, he took on a pretty douchey personality/personal style for awhile when he was dating Eva Longoria. I couldn't take it. But I loved him once

Smurftastic - I'm not denying the album wasn't great. But I did buy it, the day it came out. Still sometimes listen to it. I'd still hit it, terrible music and debateable douchiness included.

KSquizz #6 = Ryan Gosling – The person who cast the new Mickey Mouse Club should win some sort of award. Timberlake, Britney, Aguilera, Russell, and the baby goose. He was adorable on the show though admittedly I loved J.C. more as a child. (I know, I could have picked a little better but he was cute! [Ed note - offended]) Still there was no denying that RG was a cutie and he has managed to stay that way. He also turned out to be arguably the most talented actor the MMC produced. I don’t see Timberlake or Spears with any Oscar nominations on their resume. I always knew he had it in him when I was watching that miserable fake SBTB on a cruise ship he was on as a teenager. Yep, that’s right a teen comedy on a cruise ship. And I watched it. He really was THAT cute. Gosling increased his acting cred and slowly grew into a serious adult hottie in things like Remember the Titans and Murder by Numbers (playing a hot serial killer- a hot serial killer? I may need therapy.) He even bagged himself a cougar during the latter project. Somehow his dating Sandra Bullock made him hotter to me like he was learning stuff…mmm…anyway. If you did not want him after The Notebook, well, I don’t know what to do with you. He was romantic, funny, bad ass, also his body in that?!?!?!....all in all generally totally bone-able (bonable?). He even made scruff hot, and I generally am anti-scruff. Since then he has gone on to be in ridiculously good movies, earned himself the a forementioned Oscar nomination and dated Rachel McAdams (a girl crush of mine) twice, all while appearing incredibly down to earth, hard-working, and likable. Your move, Timberlake.

Smurftastic - Weird that this pick is the same number as JC, the other MMCer on the list. Loved BabyGoose on MMC, particularly when he did those fake news reports, and that time he sang in a quartet with Justin, JC and the random black kid who's name I don't remember. They were wearing beigey-white VERY baggy clothes and it was HOTTTT. Also love him in Remember the Titans. Refuse to watch the Notebook on principle, but ONLY saw Murder by Numbers because of him. True story. Also a true story, I thought he was the same dude as the son from "The Nanny." For several years. This is what the world was like before IMDB.
OH AND LOOK WHAT I FOUND!




Smurftastic #5 - Devon Sawa. Though my love for him has diminished in intensity as of late (cause he’s not in much anymore), I will always credit him for being the dude to lead me into my boy crazy/Tiger Beat phase. I remember when we were scheduled to watch Casper in 6th grade, all of my friends were like “OMG WAIT TILL YOU SEE DEVON HE’S SO DREAMY!” I, till that point, had chosen to look at those boy crazy Jonathan Taylor Thomas fans with disdain. I was better than them because I stuck with more admirable pursuits than putting posters on my wall [Ed note - like playing pogs]. That was up until the scene where Casper became a real, live, HOT boy, who swept both Christina Ricci and myself of our respective feet. To this day, if a boy ever legitimately whispered “Can I keep you?” in my ears, I might literally die. I’d for sure accept a wedding proposal that featured it, in case you care. I then was sucked into the Tiger Beat firestorm. Devon was everywhere on my walls (along with a few JTT, and lots of Jonathan Brandis, who would be on this list, but for the fact that he’s no longer alive, [Ed note - pause while I pour one out for my SeaQuest homie]). After Casper, Devon had a fabulous role as Scott Wormer in Now & Then, possibly my favorite movie of tween-hood. Also if you pause it at the exact right spot during the skinny dipping scene, you can see his man-business. Devon had other roles littered with kickassery in Idle Hands, Little Giants, and Final Destination. He is still working, with 2 movies set to be released in 2009. Also, according to his most recent IMDB bio photo, he has aged quite well. http://www.imdb.com/media/rm3402729728/nm0001701

KSquizz - I loved Devon, too. A lot. He was adorable in all those movies. I saw Wild America in the theater, the epic tween film featuring Devon, JTT, AND Brian Littrel's future wife. The last thing I remember him doing was playing "Stan" in Eminem's video. He was in kind of an unattractive awkward stage in it. Glad to see he has grown out of it.

KSquizz #5 = Mark-Paul Gosselar – No shock here. Every girl in her twenties should be in love with MPG. Zack Morris and his dyed locks (sad face that he isn’t a natural blonde) stole the hearts of little girls everywhere. He was outrageously hot and the character was amazingly lovable, which if you think about it, is a testament to MPG’s acting skills because Zack could have potentially been douche if played wrong. Unlike some other teen idols of the day (see the Joe Mac v. Jordan Knight Debate), Mark-Paul owned the hearts of every Saved by the Bell fan. Have you ever met someone who thought Slater was hotter? No. You haven’t because no one in their right mind could ever feel that way. I have seen every Saved by the Bell episode featuring Zack. College years, Hawaiian style (which I own on vhs), even his cameos on the new class. He definitely struggled a little post SBTB, which made it hard to stick with him, but I continued to root for his hotness to succeed. He did a very standard teen idol thing at the time and played a rapist who attacked Candace Cameron Bure and Six from Blossom in a tv movie that I am sure they still run on Lifetime. He was pretty good playing a non-Zack in Dead Man on Campus. He played a straight man who was a gay porn star on Law & Order SVU.Seriously. Finally, he seemed to rise above the rest of his Saved bythe Bell cast (deservedly so) to become a legitimate actor and an apparent muse of Steven Bochco. He was good on NYPD Blue. He was GREAT on Commander in Chief. He is some of the good that keeps Raising the Bar from being BAD. He also wins at life for coming to terms with SBTB and appearing IN CHARACTER as Zack Morris on Jimmy Fallon. Love! Finally, he is the only person on this list I have ever actually seen in person and he was totally awesome. Note: Raising the Bar is written/produced by a former professor from Smurftastic’s and my law school. They had a legit premiere of the show featuring a Q&A by MPG at the school. At the end, as he was being pushed out the door by his biotchy PR girl, he stopped to take a picture with me even though the PR chick had already told everyone no. He even grabbed someone to take the pic. A celebrity who appreciates that the fans are the reason you are famous. LOVE!

Smurftastic - sigh, he made my honorable mention - let's talk about MPG's visit to the school. I bought a new camera (henceforth known as Zack Morris camera), curled my hair, wore skinny jeans and heels, and anyone who knows me knows that getting me out of a hoodie and sneaks is a rare feat. I almost got into a car accident when my friend told me he was coming to the school. I then called no fewer than 10 of my friends and family to relay my excitement via screaming and lots of "OH MY GOD"s. Much like Ferris Bueller, Zack was a childhood hero. Unlike Ferris, I also lusted after him. I had a "SBTB Wedding in Las Vegas party" in Summer of 2008. I served champagne. I also watch Raising the Bar and think it is awesome. MPG, in my opinion, hotter with dark hair.

Smurftastic #4 - Harrison Ford. By far the elder statesman of this esteemed compilation, Harrison Ford grabbed my attention the very first time I saw Raiders of the Lost Ark. Sigh. He’s so dreamy. Then I saw Star Wars. Also dreamy (worse hair and fedora-less, but still dreamy). Both characters had a wit and disdain about them that I was extremely attracted to (chicks like mean D-bags, what can I say?). Harrison is yet another that has aged very VERY well, from the Fugitive through Air Force One. I’ll see pretty much anything he’s in (including Hollywood Homicide. In the theaters. On opening day. Shudder). Yes, I still think he is hot. I actually liked (though not as much as the previous 3) the new Indiana Jones’ movie. I am even willing to put up with the fact that he now has an earring and is engaged to Ally McBeal. I will love him forever. He is to me as Paul Newman was to my mom.

KSquizz - He is EPIC. He is starting to look a little old, but only justa little. I am VERY anti him and Callista though. Yick.

KSquizz #4 = Leonardo DiCaprio - Honestly, if he didn’t appear on this list it would be a shame, but he dropped a little bit from his original ranking. I, like so many, did love him as the adorable homeless kid Mike Seaver saves on Growing Pains. His character was essentially supposed to be the new likable Mike Seaver since Kirk Cameron decided to find God and lose evolution. And truly, Leo did it better. That is how you knew he was going to be huge. Though despite his best efforts (Gilbert Grape), he was dragged into the teen idol realm for a long time. I like so many other teenaged girls spent hundreds of dollars I wish I had back on teen magazines to paper the walls of my room with pictures of the Backstreet Boys, Nsync, and Leonardo Dicaprio. I saw Titanic for my 14th Birthday party. He was a legit, modern Beatle [Ed note - offended]. Liking Leo at that time was a guilty pleasure for me. I was actually mildly ashamed of it then because SO MANY people were obsessed with him, but still he graced my walls with excuses like “Oh well, he looks hot in that one so I hung it.” Meanwhile, I was watching Romeo and Juliet and Titanic and secretly hoping he would find me and, despite our 9 year age gap, want to marry me. I was a 15 year old judging myself for loving him. That’s how popular he was. But then he completely justified my love for him by making totally legit movies and becoming a hot man. Gangs of New York! Catch Me If You Can! The Departed!!!! Are you kidding me? !!! How awesome an actor do you have to be to steal scenes from Nicholson? Someone please give this man an Oscar! Also, the hottest he has ever been in a film. There are more, like Blood Diamond, and I am dying to see Shutter Island, but you get the picture. He rules. He is occasionally photographed with his hot foreign supermodel of the moment girlfriend appearing kind of chunky, but I can totally forgive him a belly. He is still ridiculously handsome. He is another one with great eyes. Add in the fact that my number one ultimate girlcrush, Kate Winslet, has professed her undying love for Leo as a person. Well, he gets continuous love from me, pretty much forever.

Smurftastic - Sigh... I never fully got on the Leo train. His hot/adorableness peaked for me on Growing Pains. I find him attractive, and incredibly talented, but I don't stalk. He's all yours.

Smurftastic #3 = Hugh Grant - Surprisingly, he's the only British or accented dude on my list. That is unexpected, as people with British, Irish, and/or Australian accents are better than regular people in almost all situations. Believe it or not, Hugh first arrived on my radar at around the same time the "picking up a hideous prostitute named Devine" scandal broke. Yet I stuck by him/continually defend him to my mother [Ed note - IT WAS 14 YEARS AGO, LET IT GO!]. Was it the floppy hair? Probably not, I like him better without it. The puppy dog droopy eyes? Maybe. The accent? Definitely had a part in it. But what keeps me coming back for more with good old Hugh is his biting wit, and the fact that he makes fun of pretty much everyone. That, and I think I’m secretly destined to marry a bumbling Brit. I even watched American Dreamz and found it less than horrific (Dennis Quaid certainly didn't hurt either). Hugh's early work (eg Four Weddings and a Funeral) is not my favorite of his, but his roles in 4 of my favorite movies EVER (Bridget Jones' Diary, About a Boy, Two Weeks Notice, and Love Actually) will keep him high atop my most dateable celebrities list from years to come. No matter how many times he "unretires" from acting or romantic comedies, I won't get frustrated. The man has an accent and a sense of humor. Plus he went to Oxford. He’s smart, and he doesn’t often deal with bullshit from the press. He's like my kryptonite, hooker loving or not. Plus, according to his Wikipedia page, he’s not dating anyone seriously. [Ed note - AHEM. Neither am I. AHEM.] On a creepy note… the look he gets in his eyes right before he’s about to have that perfect kiss with his leading lady at the end of his movies just might be the sexiest thing ever. EVER.

KSquizz - Hugh Grant is not my favorite. I actually would choose Colin Firth if I were living a real life Bridget Jones love triangle. However, his prime minister in Love Actually is adorable. I especially love his dance scene. And you can't go wrong with British accents.

Smurftastic - HAVE YOU SEEN COLIN FIRTH KISS A WOMAN IN THE MOVIES? AWKWARD. FACE. EATER. Otherwise, yeah he'd probably be on here. But he looks like a Disney Prince slash chiropractor.

Ksquizz #3 - Joshua Jackson. The Mighty Ducks may be the greatest children’s movie of all time. I think we can all agree that it is probably top 5. Say what you want about the sequels, I also love them. There are two reasons those movies stand the test of time with our generation: 1) Emilio, and 2) adorable little Joshua Jackson. Though my crush was firmly placed on Adam Banks in those movies, Charlie held a special place in my 9 year old heart. But Joshua Jackson’s career was not over and neither were his plays for my affection. Because Joshua Jackson is also Pacey Witter. That’s right, Super Hot, Smart Ass, Banging a Teacher, Kind of a Jerk, but with a heart of gold, PaceyWitter. He played the absolute perfect character for me to fall in love with as a teenager. If you were on Team Dawson while you watched Dawson’s Creek, I am judging you. Right now, judged. Even the writers ended up on Team Pacey! He got the girl!!! (In real life too,before Tom Cruise. Nice work, Josh.) Now, he is on Fringe which appeals to all my nerdy sensibilities and is pretty successful. I am pretty convinced Joshua Jackson is the new George Clooney. They have a similar look and attitudes. Funny, a little bit sneaky, and handsome. Check the poker scene in Ocean’s Eleven which they are both in, you will see it. Plus, both started out on a popular chick shows. Reappeared on popular prime time dramas. Soon Joshua will be a big time movie star with an Italian villa. You’ll see. And I will still love him then because ducks fly together.

Smurftastic - see my #1. I was on team Dawson, mainly because NO ONE DATES SPAZZWAY BUT ME. Also, back off. Because I will cut you for him.

Smurftastic #2 = Jordan Knight - Formerly and currently of New Kids on the Block (alias NKOTB). Jordan is by far the longest of my long term crushes, and has the honor of being the only guy on this list I owned a doll of (yes, I had the NKOTB dolls. Sometimes used for NKOTB fun, most often used as the male characters when I played Full House with my Barbies. Jordan was always Steve, because I wanted to be DJ). I picked him out of New Kids glory when I was 4 or 5 and my sister was the avid NKOTB fan. I believe the impetus was that Donny (at the time my favorite) had grown a rat-tail and Jordan got rid of his. I’m proud to have been anti rat-tail even in the late 80s before it was cool. Jordan’s falsetto has been melting my heart ever since. After NKOTB broke up, I felt something missing in my life… an emptiness. But Jordan came roaring back with the erotically charged “Give it to You” and a full solo album, and TOURED WITH NSYNC on the Boys of Summer Tour. Worlds colliding in the very very best way. More proof that he’s the one for me. He’s still adorable, can still dance, and still has mad pipes. NKOTB reunited in 2008, and reclaimed my heart. My love for Jordan clearly has legs and will be around for a long, long time. Someday I’ll simultaneously teach my children about the benefits of having “the Right Stuff” and the pitfalls of rat-tails.

KSquizz - Jordan was my favorite new kid, and he still is. I saw that boys of summer tour he did with NSYNC. I lost track of him though, I must admit. He has managed to remain pretty hot though. Good for him

KSquizz #2 = Gavin Rossdale. I know Gavin Rossdale is a rogue choice especially so high on the list, but he has been someone I have consistently lusted after since the 5th grade. And overall, I think he may be the absolutely hottest guy on this list. It definitely helps that he wrote and sang some of my favorite songs of my middle school career. I heard Swallowed on the radio the other day and blasted it as loud as it would go [Ed note - that's what she said]. Something about him is just sexier to me than most of the guys on this list. I am sure the musician thing is helping. I KNOW the British thing is helping. Accents are delicious. The fact that he hasn’t changed at all in the 15 years I have loved him probably helps. Additionally, I know he makes some adorable babies and is married to one of my all time girl crushes(which helps a dude’s cred on this list). He also doesn’t seem to mind at all that his wife is currently more famous than him. He just remains incredibly cool and chills with Roger Federer. I just LOVE Gavin. I really liked his last album, and I kept hoping for it to be huge commercially. I also keep hoping he will break out as an actor,which he may. He was really good as a demon in Constantine. I am even going to dvr his ass on Criminal Minds this season. I could make some dorky joke about my love for Gavin remaining the same, but I won’t. He is far too cool for that.

Smurftastic - He's cute, and British, I can't fault you for that. And that's all I have to say about that (she types while thinking in a Forrest Gump accent)

Smurftastic #1 - JOSHUA JACKSON. My love for Josh began in 1992 with a little movie called The Mighty Ducks. Charlie Conway skated into my heart as the somewhat bumbling, yet tender and passionate leader of a team of economically disadvantaged young hockey players. He made Gordon Bombay CARE about his team, and changed the face of motion pictures as we know it. Josh was back in D2 with a haircut that made him even cuter, and with D3, we got to see him grow before our very eyes. Joshua was the SOLE reason I started watching Dawson’s Creek, and the scene in the detention episode of the first season (see below) is one of my most treasured in television history. Throughout the shows run, I very rarely called him Pacey, instead referring to him as Charlie, even though Pacey was my favorite character. I passionately hated any woman he dated on the show, because IT SHOULD BE ME. He had some great roles in movies like Cruel Intentions, The Skulls, Bobby and Urban Legend, and returned to television in 2008 on the Fox show “Fringe.” Prior to Fringe, Joshua was my most frequently IMDBed actor, because I couldn’t wait to see what the Duck’s captain would come up with next. He is Canadian (bonus), and always plays rather witty characters. I love him. I will always love him. I will see pretty much anything he is in. He is currently dating Diane Kruger. I hate her. I don’t want to wait for our lives to be over before he falls in love with me. Will it be yes or will it be... sorry?

QUACK, QUACK, QUACK, QUACK GOOOOOOOOOO DUCKS!




KSquizz - Joshua Jackson almost overtook Gavin Rossdale to make it to my #2. Heis simply the new George Clooney. Mark my words!
Smurftastic - again, back off. I will cut you.


KSquizz #1 = DEREK JETER – Gavin lost his original spot as number one on this list when I decided that an athlete counted and that there is no person I have been devoted to as obsessively in my whole life as Derek Jeter. He first appeared as a Yankee in 1995, but his 1996 season was when I and the rest of the world took notice. I have loved him as a fan since he became the Yankees everyday shortstop, but he managed to cement that love by signing a personalized autograph to me when I was in 6th grade and spelled my name correctly without prompting. It doesn’t take much for a superstar to get a 12 year old to love him. Since then I have been envisioning scenarios where I would meet him and we would fall in love. At 15, I was still picturing him stopping baseball games in the 7th inning to propose. No lie. I still find myself plotting how I am going to get invited to a Turn 2 Foundation event, because that is all it will take, obviously. Derek and I have had our rough patches, particularly his dating of Mariah Carey and Jessica Biel- VOMIT. But we have managed to make it through. I am somehow dealing with rumors he is engaged to his new girlfriend. Some chick on Friday Night Lights who my boyfriend calls the hottest woman on television. I can deal as long as it isn’t Mariah, Madonna, or Kate Hudson. (Gross, A-rod. Gross.) What else is there to say? I mean, you may hate the Yankees, but there is no denying the man is hot. His skin is perfect. He has a great smile. He is an athlete so his body is sick, particularly his very nice ass. He has a solid relationship with his family. He is serious, but not so much that he won’t make a joke at his expense. He is also the epitome of class and professionalism in my favorite sport that has taken some really terrible blows the last few years. My level of obsession would probably frighten him in real life, but it is definitely the most serious long term celebrity crush I have had in my whole life. And it isn’t going anywhere.

Smurftastic - Non NYer here, but HE'S BEEN ON THE TEAM SINCE 95?!?!?!?!?!?!? Eesh, I am behind in the times. He's cute, proves funny at times, and is in commercials with Roger Federer. Plus he's not A-Rod, so he has that goin' for him. Me lusting after him would require me spending FAR too much time with Yankee fans to be worth it (no offense). Athletes are always respectable picks, nonetheless. In 1 year, David Beckham will be eligible to be on this list, and will most likley be added, so I see where you are coming from.
So that's it. Sorry it was so long, but we are passionate about our stalking. Let us know what you think and who your long term crushes are in the comments.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

RIP Michael!


Michael Jackson has just died in LA. Despite all the child molestation rumors, and the general craziness, he was the man. No question about it. THE MAN. The Jackson 5 are probably in my top 10 favorite bands of all time, and my college buddies used to sing Billie Jean to me at bars. And, importantly, even with the crazy (and the whole Beatles catalogue debacle), his new music didn't suck. It was actually pretty good. The new songs on the Thriller re-release in 08 were fantastic. There may have been more on the way but we'll never really know.
DJ Victorious will much more accurately convey feelings because in her words "I'm actually really upset. Do you think this will increase the value of my Michael Jackson Barbie Doll?"

Rest in Peace Michael, you were the man.

Friday, October 17, 2008

I think I have an addiction...

So. I mean we all knew this was coming. Well maybe not me. Maybe everyone knew I was sick (especially after the BBCS). But I didn't. I thought it was under control. I mean... I can quit anytime I want. In fact, I did quit. Twice. Denial must be a symptom.
I mean I sometimes did it for the homage value, but not cause I really liked it. And I always made fun of it while I secretly loved it.
I have now realized that I cannot quit anytime I want. I am sick. I have an addiction. And since the first step is acceptance, here goes.

My name is Smurftastic, and I'm addicted to boy bands.

Phew. I got that off my chest. I am a 24 year old woman who hearts boy bands. I have hearted boy bands since I first listened to my sister's New Kids on the Block tapes. Then I suddenly became EXTREMELY anti-boy band. All through grade school and junior high, I was "too good" for boy bands. I liked "quality" music (apparently that sometimes meant crap like Limp Bizkit... but whatever). Stuff that the cool kids listened to. And while I would NEVER give up that period of my life (I mean it introduced me to the Beatles, after all...) it's not me.

All it took was 1 Disney Channel In Concert Special and a summer in a new town where I had only 1 friend (who was obsessed) to suck me right back in. And that is when NSYNC entered my life. And made it infinitely better. First concert I ever went to... NSYNC. I may have cried. I know I peed at least 10 times before the show because I was so excited. I even had a sign. A crazy fan threw a Chris Kirkpatrick pin at my head. I think i might still have it somewhere.

Boy band obsession then came full circle (or so I thought). Jordan Knight opened for NSYNC during their "Boys of Summer" tour. Yes, they took my "New Kids forever" sign away from me (but that was really just for ironic purposes, right?) but I still had a fabulous time and thought I was a winner as a 15 year old who knew both NSYNC and NKOTB... and even felt superior to those poor 8 year old girls who didn't know NKOTB. Seriously. Judged them for not understanding the history. Well the rest of high school is self explanatory. 3 more NSYNC concerts, a Backstreet Boys concert, an Aaron Carter concert (seriously), and a 98 Degrees and a 5ive CD. By that point, my mother could name all members of NSYNC including their middle names (with a little prodding, she can still do it).

Then, as soon as it started, it ended. Justin went solo. JC tried. Lance acted. I moved on. Sure, when I'm sad, nothing brings me up like a good NSYNC song... and when I'm excited, they're good too. And yes, I have been known to do the full on dances in public (preferably bars or at karaoke)... but it was an homage to my past, right? Just recognizing where we came from? I got more into country music. And rap. And classic rock. And 90s rock that I missed out on while being obsessed with boy bands. I was expanding.

And then. And then. The reunion tour was announced. THE reunion tour. New Kids on the Block... of course. I fully intended to go but it was "for humor value only" and because "I owed it to 2nd grade Smurftastic", etc. I thought I was totally over it when I watched their premiere video and laughed my head off at how ridiculous it was. I thought I was too grown up. And then, and then... I went to the concert. Before the show, I was excited, but it was the kind of excited that is like "I can't believe I'm actually doing this..." not "OMFG IF JORDAN KNIGHT SMILES IN MY GENERAL DIRECTION I WILL PEE MY PANTS!" I recognize that they have kids and are grown up. I'm technically grown up. I get there and laugh at the old ladies in puffy painted T-shirts and intend to drink to get through it if they play too many new songs instead of the old stuff.
And then something in me changed. As I saw Jordan, Joey and the others up there I stopped laughing hysterically and started smiling and giggling. And the beast was awakened. Texts were sent declaring "THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE" and I took more pictures than would fit in a standard facebook album. I jumped up and down and clapped. I screamed a little. I am 24. The worst part... 5 days later, I purchased their new album.
I, Smurftastic, own the 2008 New Kids on the Block CD release. And it's not a greatest hits album (I already owned that one). It's ALL NEW. First time I listened to it, I thought it was the worst crap... ever. Now, just a few weeks later... I love it. I can't help it. I know it's "bad" music. I know there is a song that literally makes a Baby, Swayze, Dirty Dancing reference. But I love it. I could sing most of it right now.

When I went home last weekend for Homecoming it really came to my attention that I have a problem. It was the moment when I made my mom listen to the CD in the car on the way home from the airport. Her response was "Wow, this is really boy-bandy. Like really." My response, "No, no it's not... it's... it's..." My mom gently says "I thought you grew out of this."

I didn't. I didn't and now I realize that it's not my fault. I love boy bands. My all time favorite band was technically a boy band (The Beatles, duh), and the oldies I like are mostly boy bands (Jackson 5, the Monkees, etc...). Why had I not seen it? Is it genetic? Is this curable? Is there rehab? Support groups? Am I the only one with this affliction? How do I get rid of it? Do I even want to? I had some hard times after my realization, and then realized, as long as it doesn't run my life, I can handle it.

Tonight, my friends, tonight, I'm starting to wonder whether or not I can handle it. Now, although I am a boy-band fan, I consider myself a boy-band snob. There are good boy bands, and there are boy bands that are complete shit - devoid of the talent and the producing and writing needed to make something good. Like O-town. They were awful. I mean I have a song or two of theirs, but only because they were ridiculous (sound familiar?). I was anti-Hanson until they came out with the "This Time Around" album... which had some good songs... but I was never a fan of MmmBop. Throw something as obvious as "Boyztown" at me and I will judge you, and possibly punch you. At least try to disguise it. Honestly.

Tonight, I realized I am not as "high brow" as I thought. A Friday night at home and I get bored with my Netflix date for the night and decide to research my Halloween costume. I am going as Hannah Montana (most likely)... but have never seen a single one of her shows or heard one of her songs. No harm no foul, right? Have to make sure the costume is accurate, right? This RAPIDLY progresses to watching every single Jonas Brothers video on YouTube... just to see what the fuss is about, right? "Wow this is awful!" I say, while I watch another video and buy another song from iTunes. And now, and now, I HEART a few of their songs. But their songs aren't that good... But here's the weird part... I don't really think they are hot (I guess that's good because that means I'm not a pedophile...), but if their songs aren't good and they aren't hot and they don't dance... why am I listening?

Well, here it is, I think. I like dudes that sing like girls. There, I said it. I think it's so when I sing along, they are in my range. Girl artists get too high for me, and deep voiced dudes go too low. Also, I find 5-part harmonies soothing. They put me at peace. Hence, NSYNC and NKOTB are my favorite boy bands of the modern boy-band era. Also, choreography is fun. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

The obsession may sleep again, but I need to be prepared that it will surface again. After all, NSYNC is still under contract for 3 more albums. And by then, maybe I can be one of those 30-something women peeing themselves at a boy-band concert. A girl can dream, right?

Wow. I'm glad I got that off my chest. Acceptance is the first step to recovery. But can you recover if you don't want to?

Sunday, June 8, 2008

They can't be serious... can they? UPDATE

Sooooooo approximately 1 minute ago, the season premiere of the new New Kids on the Block video aired on VH1. Number of times I laughed out loud = 4. Number of times I felt uncomfortable = 3. I'll leave futher judgment to you... pretty much cause I am at a loss for words...



... this is not to say that I don't love NKOTB... Don't get me wrong. I have tickets to see them in concert. I just hope it's less awkward than this and/or that they concentrate on old songs. And Jordan. Jordan is still hott in this video. Don't deny it.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Boy Band Sesh!


Every now and then, I find myself having an instant messenger conversation, that while entertaining, makes me want to judge myself. This most often happens during finals week, and sometimes, they are good enough to share. This is one of those times.

This topic of conversation starts off based on a discussion of New Kids on the Block’s upcoming reunion tour. My away message at this time referenced the concert coming to Jersey in September. What follows is a walk down memory lane. Enjoy.

Rum&Efron: you’re lucky...we have to wait until Oct 4th for Joey
Smurftastic: joey = lame
Smurftastic: jordan is where it's at

Rum&Efron: he was my second fav
Rum&Efron: obviously I had them ranked 1-5
Smurftastic: obvi
Smurftastic: if danny wasn't last, we are no longer friends

Rum&Efron: Joey, Jordan, Jonathan, Donny, Danny
Rum&Efron: in case you wanted to know
Smurftastic: I started out liking donny best
Smurftastic: when jordan had a rat tail
Rum&Efron: he did have an incredible rat tail
Smurftastic: then jordan cut his rat tail, and donny grew one
Smurftastic: so jordan made it to #1
Smurftastic: so my final cut was Jordan, Donny, Jon, Joey, Danny
Smurftastic: Donny and Jon were kind of tied for 2nd

Rum&Efron: WOW
Rum&Efron: I cant believe Joey wasn’t a top 2
Rum&Efron: suprising
Smurftastic: i know... i'm unique
Smurftastic: he was a little girly for me
Smurftastic: and his little boy voice just couldn't compare to jordan's falsetto
Smurftastic: plus i used my NKOTB dolls to play full house
Smurftastic: and joey was always joey Gladstone
Smurftastic: who was the most lame

Rum&Efron: amazing
Smurftastic: danny was not featured in the games with my barbies, cause he's the worst
Rum&Efron: I only had the joey doll
Rum&Efron: so I had to go to my friends house who had donny and jordan
Rum&Efron: danny was the worst
Rum&Efron: I wonder if he still has a complex
Rum&Efron: and if bad memories will resurface during the tour
Smurftastic: i hope
Smurftastic: extra points if donny burns down a hotel room
Smurftastic: danny = kevin from BSB
Smurftastic: he's a realtor now i think- : TRUE HOLLYWOOD STORY!

Rum&Efron: he is a realtor...according to my People magazine\
Rum&Efron: he also has 2 or 3 kids
Smurftastic: YES
Smurftastic: BABY NKOTB

Rum&Efron: 1 of which he must have had literally right after they fell off the face of the earth, bc he's a teenager
Smurftastic: HOLY GOD danny has a teenager?
Smurftastic: REPLACEMENT!
Rum&Efron: for real
Smurftastic: for when his hip gives out and shit
Smurftastic: Jonathan almost dropped to #4 in my rankings after i saw true hollywood story and found out he dated that firecrotch Tiffani

Rum&Efron: he has anxiety disorder
Rum&Efron: which I find attractive for some reason
Smurftastic: if you haven't seen that THS, you really should watch it
Smurftastic: it's AWESOME
Smurftastic: it will make you love jon

Rum&Efron: Danny’s kids are : Anthony 16, Daniel Jr 15, and Vega 9
Smurftastic: VEGA?
Rum&Efron: what the fuck does vega mean?
Smurftastic: girl or boy
Rum&Efron: hmm
Rum&Efron: doesnt say
Smurftastic: ?
Smurftastic: WOW... vega

Rum&Efron: oh wait Chance is 9 too
Smurftastic: really
Rum&Efron: so 4 kids
Smurftastic: JESUS
Rum&Efron: with a set of twins
Smurftastic: i hope he married a groupie
Smurftastic: so chance's sibling is VEGA... ok

Rum&Efron: yes
Rum&Efron: I am thinking Vega is a girl
Rum&Efron: safe bet
Smurftastic: and probably will eventually be some sort of stripper
Rum&Efron: Jordan has 2 sons
Smurftastic: WHAT
Smurftastic: is jordan married?

Rum&Efron: yes
Rum&Efron: he has been married for 3 years
Rum&Efron: but his son is 9
Rum&Efron: so you do the math
Smurftastic: ILLEGIT
Smurftastic: MY WORLD IS COLLAPSING AROUND ME

Rum&Efron: Jon is single~~
Rum&Efron: Donny has Xavier 15, Elijah 7
Rum&Efron: Joey has a baby Griffin
Smurftastic: oh. my. god.
Rum&Efron: they were popping out kids
Smurftastic: i feel incredibly old right now
Rum&Efron: I am closer in age to their children then to them
Rum&Efron: sick
Smurftastic: wooooooow
Rum&Efron: I was still playing with barbies and they were procreating
Rum&Efron: oh man
Smurftastic: I WAS PLAYING FULL HOUSE WITH MY BARBIES AND THEIR DOLLS WHILE THEY WERE CHANGING DIAPERS
Rum&Efron: was that not featured in my Bop magazine???
Rum&Efron: how come I didn’t know they had kids?
Rum&Efron: I should have known in 93
Smurftastic: cause in 93, that was like Dirty Dawg years. I blocked it out of my mind
Rum&Efron: yeah I gave up on them then
Smurftastic: I mean I knew that Joey from NSYNC had a kid when the band was together, but i try not to think about it
Rum&Efron: yeah I was 16 then so I was cool with it
Rum&Efron: especially since he was my fourth fav
Rum&Efron: Justin, JC, Lance, Joey, and Chris
Rum&Efron: once again for your point of reference
Smurftastic: JC, Lance, Justin, Chris, Joey
Rum&Efron: wow you liked chris better than Joey??
Rum&Efron: even when he had crazy braids and wore those goggles?
Smurftastic: I enjoyed chris' dreadlocks
Smurftastic: also he waved at me at a concert once
Smurftastic: and i stood on a chair and touched the braids, they were sparkly at that time

Rum&Efron: I guess that does leave an impression on one's heart
Smurftastic: i had a chris poster in HS
Smurftastic: that someone bought me, and i felt bad not putting up
Smurftastic: but judged myself for owning

Rum&Efron: my whole freshmen dormroom was filled with Justin posters, bobble heads, and marionette puppets
Rum&Efron: my roommates were freaked
Smurftastic: also Chris was pretty hilarious...
Smurftastic: at times i debated ranking him above justin

Rum&Efron: WHAT
Rum&Efron: above Justin????????
Smurftastic: justin was so low because EVERYONE liked him and i didn't want to be like everyone else
Smurftastic: i made the JC over justin decision based solely on that
Smurftastic: less competition for JC

Rum&Efron: thats blasphemy
Smurftastic: i know
Smurftastic: i'm glad i never did it
Smurftastic: even for a day if that ranking changed in my mind... I don’t think I could live with myself

Rum&Efron: yeah I went back and forth between JC and Justin in the early years
Rum&Efron: but then stuck with JT all the way
Smurftastic: PS - did you ever watch Mission: ManBand on VH1?
Smurftastic: cause chris GETS AFTER IT
Smurftastic: i mean he's somewhat douche... but he gets after it
Smurftastic: but when i discovered JC was a host of America's Best Dance Crew I watched an MTV marathon for like 6 hours

Rum&Efron: ]well worth it
Smurftastic: i really wanted to go see Joey (NKOTB) when he was on broadway
Smurftastic: but never got around to it
Smurftastic: i'm hoping to not let that happen for clay aiken
Rum&Efron: are you a claymate?
Smurftastic: no
Smurftastic: but i lived w/ one for a semester
Smurftastic: we even drove to the indiana state fair for one of his concerts, which would probably have been lame... but there was a KEYTAR... Keytars are awesome

Rum&Efron: I think thats why I love Dancing with the Stars bc I am always secretly hoping for an old ass boy band member
Rum&Efron: Drew Lachey was my fav in 98 degrees
Smurftastic: oh drew was the best
Rum&Efron: and obviously Joey (NKOTB)
Smurftastic: DWTS got me hooked when they got NSYNC Joey
Smurftastic: namely to watch tfor the audience appearances
Smurftastic: fucking Justin never went
Smurftastic: ass

Rum&Efron: ass
Rum&Efron: I would like to see Nick Carter on
Smurftastic: that would totally work, but BSB sucks at dancing
Rum&Efron: and Nick Carter is so large and awkward now
Rum&Efron: it would be hilarious
Smurftastic: THOUGH, beyond audience appearances from the other band members
Smurftastic: we might get aaron carter
Smurftastic: which is reason enough for me

Rum&Efron: I LOVE HIM
Rum&Efron: I owe 1 cd of his
Rum&Efron: which I feel is alot for a 25 year old
Smurftastic: saw him in concert
Rum&Efron: You did????
Smurftastic: oh yeah
Rum&Efron: so jealous
Smurftastic: illinois state fair
Smurftastic: less than 10 rows back
Smurftastic: i had crazy high school friends who waited for three hours to get in the front
Smurftastic: and he kissed one of them on the cheek during the show
Smurftastic: mind you, we were 16 or 17 at this time
Smurftastic: and he was like 13

Rum&Efron: that is amazing
Rum&Efron: 1 benefit to living in Springfield
Smurftastic: same group of friends scored tickets to see him in peoria. on valentine's day. front row.
Smurftastic: one girl's long term boyfriends birthday was valentines day

Rum&Efron: WHAT??
Smurftastic: and she ditched him. for aaron carter.
Rum&Efron: fuck him
Rum&Efron: its Aaron Carter for crying out loud

And the best possible summary of this conversation =
Smurftastic: i feel like looking back on this conversation, i should hate myself. but i can't

Saturday, February 2, 2008

A rant on... Superbowl Halftime Shows

Because we here at SomePeopleKnit like to keep up on current events, and the outcome of the game is being exhausted by people who know much more about football than I do, I’d like to take a moment and discuss what many people really care about during the Superbowl (besides the commercials, which have sucked a lot lately anyways). That’s right. The Halftime show – this year, starring one of Smurftastic’s favorite bands, Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers.

Diligent Internet research (or like 5 minutes and a google search worth), informs me that popular musical artists only became a regular staple of the Halftime shows in 1988. Prior to that, they used marching bands and large choral groups. Everyone likes marching bands at football games right? My research has led me to one overall question… Why do the superbowl organizers consistently pick music that in NO WAY goes with the mood of the game at all?

For example, my personal favorite in randomness… in 1992, the Halftime show starred Gloria Estefan, Brian Boitano, and Dorothy Hamill. Please take a moment and let that sink in. I’ll wait and look at this gratuitously hot picture of Tom Brady...



Yeah. Cuban music and ice skating, hmmm? That’s clearly what fat drunk people eating chili really want to see in the middle of a game. That kind of performance probably isn’t even bringing in the female viewers. I’ll be honest, Boitano is NOT hot enough to draw women into watching the game. I'm assuming that even with a full box of Franzia under my belt, he’s still not doing it for me. (In case you were worried... Tom and Eli, you succeed, but that’s not the point). Other combos that somehow just don’t scream football for me – 1995: Patti LaBelle, Tony Bennett, Arturo Sandoval, Miami Sound Machine; 1998: Boyz II Men, Smokey Robinson, Martha Reeves, Temptations, Queen Latifah; and 2000: Phil Collins, Christina Aguilera, Enrique Iglesias, Toni Braxton.

Please bear in mind that I am in NO WAY criticizing the quality of these artists (I do enjoy me some Phil Collins)… simply their lack of conduciveness to football games. I want some classic rock, maybe some country… something badass that gets you fired up to hit people. Not something that gets me fired up to salsa dance or Jr. High style-slow dance.

Another issue with Superbowl Halftime shows which sometimes turns out awesome, and other times confusing and awkward are the combinations of artists asked to perform on the same stage. The one that to me sticks out as the most random (excluding where the co-performers are ice skaters, of course) in 2003, when Shania Twain shared the stage with No Doubt. I hardly remember this performance, so it probably wasn’t that good. More randomness? In 1999, the performers were Stevie Wonder, Gloria Estefan, and Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. The Superbowl seems to LOVE Gloria Estefan. No recollection of this performance at all, so I’m gonna go with awkward and/or not good.

One random collaborative performance that I absolutely LOVED (yeah, this is gonna be obvious) – when NSYNC shared the stage with Aerosmith. You can watch it at http://youtube.com/watch?v=Xcy5e-23-vs. Special guests in this performance were Britney Spears (yes, pre-crazy, but you think you’d be able to foresee it cause she wears a sock on her arm, and look for her to trip and then instant camera cut away, hilarious), Nelly (who didn’t sing the same song as everyone else, which was Walk This Way, but instead just did a quick set from one of his songs, to his own beat, while the other song was going on = ridiculous/amazing), and Mary J. Blige (whatever… never really got into Mary J. Sorry). MTV presented this Halftime show, obviously. Also there is a decently funny opening scene with Ben Stiller as the “Pageant Piston” halftime show coordinator, Adam Sandler as DJ Stanley Steemer, and Chris Rock being himself. What I like about this performance is it was over the top, as good Superbowl Halftime Shows should be, but each major artist stuck to their own songs and did what they do best. They melded together well enough, so it was more of a full performance as opposed to 2 separate bands performing. Plus, I like the idea of NSYNCOSmith and AeroSYNC. Sidenote – JC’s gold pants = HOT, as is Justin w/ the pyrotechnic gloves. I could have done without Aerosmith singing Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing… sorry it’s just not intense. But I loved Jaded when it was big.


As far as random combinations go, the national anthem performance halftime combo usually always succeeds at being random as well. The year of NSYNCOSMITH, Backstreet Boys opened the game. And sucked (obviously). It was awkward, yet I found it hilarious. Greatest combo which I have officially decided is the greatest musical Superbowl of all time – 1991: Whitney Houston in the warm up suit for national anthem. Halftime show by New Kids on the Block. WOW. I was only 6 when it happened, but I bet it was awesome. I wish I could remember it. Other good combos – 1993 – Garth Brooks opens, Michael Jackson Halftime, and 1994, when Natalie Cole opened and the Halftime show was Clint Black, Tanya Tucker, Travis Tritt, Wynonna & Naomi Judd. Also, shoutout to national anthem 1995 singer, Kathie Lee Gifford. Remember her? Moment of silence for her career (and to admire Eli Manning)...




OK, because I feel it has to be said, some thoughts on the Janet/JT nipple incident. I did not enjoy this for several reasons – a) the performance wasn’t that good to begin with, b) her nipple ring was TERRIFYING, and c) this issue led to the end of really huge halftime shows. The networks are really into playing it safe now. Big ups to Paul McCartney who put on a great show in ’05. Rolling Stones and Prince were OK in the following years, but it just didn’t have the same kind of pizzazz. Hopefully Tom Petty can up the intensity this year. And a suggestion for National Anthem singers? Let's keep it random. I want the Spice Girls. British Girl Power celebrating America? Oh yeah.

Saturday, June 2, 2007

BBCS FINAL RANKINGS!

Ok... That took WAYYYYYYY longer than I thought it would or was necessary. Whatever. Here are the final rankings and scores. Ties will be broken purely by Smurftastic's preference. So, without further ado... the final rankings of the boy band championship series... comments or complaints are welcome... ENJOY!

all 4 one - 8
Moffats - 10
SoulDecision - 12 (soul decision beats Youngstown)
Youngstown - 12
Take That - 13
B2K - 13.5
Dreamstreet - 14
Wham! - 16.5
Boyzone - 17
Color Me Badd -17 (tie rankings - Color Me Badd over Next, who beat out Boyzone)
Next - 17
5ive - 20
Menudo - 21
BBMak - 22
Hanson - 22 (Hanson knocks out BBMak, who beat the Vilalge People)
Village People - 22
98 Degrees - 23
New Edition - 23
o-town - 23 (New Edition beat out 98 Degrees, who DOMINATE O-town)
LFO - 24
2gether - 26
Osmonds - 27
Temptations - 27
Monkees - 28
Boyz II Men - 30
BSB - 34
NKOTB - 35
Jackson 5 - 38
Beatles - 39

AND YOUR CHAMPIONS.......
NSYNC - 43 points out of 45...

Anyway, that's the end of the BBCS. THANK GOD. I'm leaving for Europe in less than 24 hours. Get excited. I'll try to do some blog updates... judging from around the globe! Get excited!

The BBCS Final Analysis!!!!

Alright. This is it. The FINAL BBCS rankings. All the bands left, letters N-Z. Get excited.

New Edition

  • Strength of Schedule 2 - pretty much only in competition with NKOTB in their early years
  • Overcoming adversity 3 - Bobby Brown, but at least he left in 86
  • Album Sales 2- only #1 album in the US was their 1996 album. Honestly, who bought a New Edition album in 96?????, but had other successful albums
  • Tour/Merchandise 1 - not much wikipedia info on tours... apparently had Bobby Brown as an opening act on a 1987-88 tour
  • Artistic Performance 3 - extra points for awesome choreography and ridiculously high pitched voices
  • Alumni Success 3 - Bobby Brown had a relatively successful album, married Whitney Houston, and got super cracked out. And DON'T FORGET about 3 members forming Bel Biv DeVoe. (ABC, BBD, The East Coast Family...)
  • USA Today/Coaches Poll 5 - DJVictorious once told me she is a huge fan. Smurftastic thinks Candy Girl is a great song
  • Miscellaneous 3 - Madonna was one of their opening acts, but they had a song called "Popcorn Love"
  • Post-success nostalgia 1 - eh.... a bit... but they are in the studio now working on their eighth album... EW

Total Score: 23

Next

  • Strength of Schedule 5 - around beginning in 97 - same time as NSYNC, BSB and others
  • Overcoming Adversity 2 were managed by a member of a group called Sounds of Blackness, lots of horrible naming involved... for example their second album was called Welcome II Nextasy... eew...
  • Album Sales 3 - "Too Close" went to number one... won a bunch of Billboard awards
  • Tour/Merchandise 1 - no info on tours... probably
  • Artistic Performance 1 - points for the fact that their name (Next) stands for Noone Ever Expected This. CLASSY
  • Alumni Success 1 - still together. Maybe Tweety is doing some big things... who knows
  • USA Today/Coaches Poll 2- hates herself for it... but Smurftastic likes "Too Close"... not enough to buy an album... but it's catchy
  • Miscellaneous 1 Their original name was Straight4ward - could have been included in the numbers group, group member nicknames include "R.L.", "T-Low" and Deponce (that is listed as his actual name. You are both cool and probably a future guest on Maury. Former member nicknamed Tweety
  • Post-success nostalgia 1 - not really... although who isn't nostalgic about singing a song where a girl feels a guy's boner while they're dancing. HOT
Total Score 17

The Osmonds
  • Strength of Schedule 3 - most successful in the 70s... not a ton of boybands to deal with, but bubblegum pop and otherwise awesome music was EVERYWHERE
  • Overcoming Adversity 3 - Mormons... so probably didn't take FULL advantage of the groupie ass. Plus had both big teeth and big hair
  • Album Sales 2 - had a #1 single... but didn't particularly blow up the album charts
  • Tour/Merchandise 2 - not a huge touring act... but had the usual 70s lunchboxes and other such merchandise
  • Artistic Performance 3 - on one of their later albums, actually wrote all their own songs and played their own instruments. Bonus points for the glittery bell bottoms. Those were HOT
  • Alumni Success 4 - The 4 other Osmond bros still perform together in Branson. Donny kicked ass in both Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat in Chicago AND Mulan (Somehow he'll... make a MAN... out of YOUUUUUUU). Donny and sister Marie had a talk show in the 90s that Smurftastic FULLY enjoyed
  • USA Today/Coaches Poll 4 - Smurftastic fully enjoys the Osmonds.. and yes, once went to a Donny Osmond concert with her Mom in Springfield. She knows you are jealous
  • Miscellaneous 2 apparently crazy Osmond fans were called "Osmania"... original guys; Alan's 8 kids formed "The Osmonds Second generation" or 2ndG...
  • Post-success nostalgia 4 - oh the nostalgia is still there. Smurftastic witness baby boomer women FLIPPING OUT and rushing the stage at Donny's concert... a sad glimpse into her future she thinks

Total Score 27

SoulDecision

  • Strength of Schedule 5 - came out in 99
  • Overcoming Adversity 0 - no info about it... whatever
  • Album Sales 1 - had like 2 hit singles and their first album went platinum once... that's about it
  • Tour/Merchandise 1 - only one small tour
  • Artistic Performance 1 - one of the boy band pioneers of featuring a rap verse.
  • Alumni Success 0 - one guy left in 04 to pursue a solo career... still waiting expectantly for it to come out...
  • USA Today/Coaches Poll 1 - faded is a pretty sweet song, not gonna lie
  • Miscellaneous 2 - Were Canadian!!!!! YESSSSSSSSS
  • Post-success nostalgia 1 - enjoyed that it was featured on the ultimate boy band throwback album... "Now That's What I Call Music Vol. 4"
Total Score 12

Take That
  • Strength of Schedule 1 - big era was 1990-96... nothing huge boy band wise... the end of NKOTB and Boyz II Men... but these guys were off in England
  • Overcoming Adversity 2 - Robbie Williams didn't like his clean cut image, so started to party with Oasis... God Oasis is AWESOME...
  • Album Sales 3 - some of the biggest selling albums in the UK in the 90s belonged to Take That - also according to Wikipedia, "Take That are one of only seven acts in the history of the British Singles Chart whose tally of number ones is in double figures."
  • Tour/Merchandise 2 no real info here - except went on a 2006 Ultimate Tour when they reunited
  • Artistic Performance 1 - no idea, but Smurftastic has a HUGE weakness for British accents... good for them
  • Alumni Success 2 - Robbie Williams did pretty well on the overplayed department ("Millenium" anyone?), the other guys had some low key solo careers or acting gigs... reunited and are now recording an album
  • USA Today/Coaches Poll 1 - the accents are good, but Smurftastic can't recall any of their songs. She thinks when they were big she was probably in her "I hate pop music" phase. That was a sad phase
  • Miscellaneous 1 got their name from a quote by Madonna. Are they trying to tell us something?
  • Post-success nostalgia 0 - sorry... none really.

Total Score 13


The Temptations

  • Strength of Schedule 3 - higher score here because they are still around, and have been since the 1960s... solid effort, guys
  • Overcoming Adversity 3 - couldn't have been easy being an all black group in the 60s. Also from Detroit. That's a tough town, man
  • Album Sales 4 - 22 million sold by 1982... that's pretty impressive
  • Tour/Merchandise 3 tons of tours when they were big, now splinter groups and reunion tours are still makin' the rounds
  • Artistic Performance 3 - matching suits and choreography. Mamma likey
  • Alumni Success 3 a spinoff of the group is still around. NICE
  • USA Today/Coaches Poll 2 - that shit is catchy... don't deny it
  • Miscellaneous 3 - according to Wikipedia, "In 2004, Rolling Stone Magazine ranked The Temptations #67 on their list of the 100 Greatest Artists of All Time."; Duran Duran also covered one of their songs
  • Post-success nostalgia 3 - there's something not trustworthy about people who don't at least tap their toes to the Temptations.

Total Score 27

Village People

  • Strength of Schedule 2 around from the 70s to today... nice job guys
  • Overcoming Adversity 2 - gay icons. And actual real gay icons... not closeted like most of the rest of the boy bands
  • Album Sales 5 - 85 million albums sold. Wow. Are there really 85 million Karaoke machines and wedding DJ's out there? Oh and don't forget cruise ships
  • Tour/Merchandise 2 - even opened for Los Lonely Boys in 2004. NICE
  • Artistic Performance 3 - just look at the costumes.
  • Alumni Success 1 - still around, but with newer band members
  • USA Today/Coaches Poll 1 - its annoying, but Smurftastic is a wanna be cruise director, and can't resist any type of choreography
  • Miscellaneous 1 - tried to become New Wave artists in the 80s, and released an album called sex over the phone
  • Post-success nostalgia 5 - COME ON... its the YMCA. Favorite of cruise directors everywhere

Total Score - 22


Wham!

  • Strength of Schedule 2 - 1981-1986... whatever
  • Overcoming Adversity 2 - their name was Wham!... and look at their hair. that is adversity if I've ever seen it
  • Album Sales 2 - 3 number one US singles, and pretty big in the UK
  • Tour/Merchandise 2 - did a couple of arena tours... nothing ginormous
  • Artistic Performance 1 - quite a bit of snapping fingers and bopping back and forth... plus those choose life shirts were pretty hot
  • Alumni Success 2.5 - George Michael did big(ish) things and got arrested a few times... plus came out of the closet. HUGE surprise
  • USA Today/Coaches Poll 2 - Smurftastic LOVES "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go" because its so ridiculous... but that's about it
  • Miscellaneous 1 - What the hell is Andrew Ridgeley doing now?
  • Post-success nostalgia 2 - pretty much symbols of the 80s

Total Score 16.5

Youngstown

  • Strength of Schedule 5 - 1998 - NSYNC and BSB time
  • Overcoming Adversity 1 - named after a city in Ohio. Seems kind of ridiculous to me
  • Album Sales 1 - pretty much big on the soundtrack circuit - they were the band with the Inspector Gadget song... also on Princess Diaries
  • Tour/Merchandise 1 - did a Disney in concert special (at the same time Smurftastic was in Disneyworld... she didn't go... but thought about it)
  • Artistic Performance 1 - wore Gadget trenchcoats in the video. I wonder if they had Go Go Gadget Gadgets in there. That would have been AWESOME
  • Alumni Success 1 - 2 of the 3 members are now doing a duet album, the other is living out of the spotlight
  • USA Today/Coaches Poll 1 - Smurftastic is embarrassed to admit, but she thinks that the Inspector Gadget song is catchy
  • Miscellaneous 1 - also appeared on the Pokemon soundtrack... Pokemon is HORRIBLE... I judge them
  • Post-success nostalgia 0 - ummmm I may be the only person who has ever actually heard of them. Whatever

Total Score - 12