OK. So I don't get CMT. (eff you, comcast.) Last year I watched the CMT awards via webcast. This year I forgot and was Bachelor blogging. But they have the full show online (cmt.com = awesome). So I have been watching it whilst preparing for my oral argument tomorrow (insert childish giggle here... oral). I have a few things I'd like to point out:
1) Miley Cyrus made reference to being born in 1992. And I now want to kill myself.
2) CMT apparently has a show called "Gone Country" where washed up stars try to learn how to sing country. Hilarious on its face. Features Marcia Brady, Bobby Brown and... wait for it... keep waiting... I swear the wait it'll be worth it... here it comes... SISQO. Yup. That's right. Sisqo. The crew presented an award, and PS... his hair is still ridiculous.
3) Billy Ray Cyrus' facial hair is inappropriate.
4) Taylor Swift is very endearing and I like her voice and all... but in person...there's something about her look that freaks me out.
5) Miley Cyrus' voice = good, but not great.
6) Faith Hill's haircut saddens me.
7) Oh good, Snoop appearance on the CMT awards. Too bad there isn't a country version of "Sexual Eruption"... yet... (http://youtube.com/watch?v=WzR3au5OS_s)
8) Increasing the randomness... Robert Plant won an award.
9) FINALLY Brooks & Dunn didn't win a duo award. Honestly, I was over them 10 years ago.
10) My girl crush on Carrie Underwood = still going strong.
11) Spotted: Kenny Chesney nipping hard.
12) Oh, and perhaps most random... show opens with cameos from John McCain, Hillary Clinton, and Barack Obama (among others)... o...k...
There was probably other funny stuff happening, but I was pretending to do work so I didn't blog about it.
Sidenote... I would just like to say what complete garbage it is that a blogger from my favorite NFL site got fired from his job at the Washington Post for revealing his true identity on the site. LAME... full story here: http://withleather.com/post.phtml?pk=5531, and full coverage of the event on http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/.
Showing posts with label Carrie Underwood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Carrie Underwood. Show all posts
Friday, April 18, 2008
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Grammy Awards Recap!
Thoughts on the Grammys:
Not gonna lie, pretty offended by the opening duet with Alicia Keys and Frank Sinatra. I mean I get that everyone goes apeshit for her, and some of her songs are good. But she doesn’t do it for me. And I bet she wouldn’t do it for Frankie. And I swear, if she EVER says anything like “On behalf of the Chairman of the Board” again, I may need to hurt her. I may be a little defensive of him. Maybe. At least it wasn’t a Beatles song. Then it could get violent (or more violent).
Carrie Underwood – my god her legs got toned. She sounded good… hopefully she’ll sound even better when I see her in concert on Wednesday (get excited). Revamped version of Before He Cheats was pretty intense. Solid effort.
Commercial tells me a Beatles tribute is coming. Grammys are usually pretty good about tributes – the Eagles tribute last year was amazing, so I have high hopes. If it's Alicia Keys, I will stab someone.
Chairman of the Grammys + the original members of The Time + key-tar = I’M A HAPPY CAMPER. I have an inappropriate obsession w/ key tars. Key-tar, however, promptly leaves the stage to give way to Rhianna. (which I have no idea how to spell) Think she’s catchy and all, but performance would have been more awesome if they kept the key tar around. Key-tars (like piano key neckties or tuxedo T-shirts) make everything better.
I desperately want to see the Beatles Cirque du Soleil show. Looks like I may need to be on shrooms to understand it, but whatever. I’ll probably like it anyway.
Random presenting combo award goes to: Cindy Lauper and Miley Cyrus. Cindy Lauper is pretty cracked out, and Miley seems a little afraid. I would be too.
JASON BATEMAN APPEARANCE! YES I LOVE HIM! HOGAN FAMILY! ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT! Ok, that may have been too much all caps. I apologize for my exciteability.
I want light up sunglasses like Kanye. Pleased that Daft Punk made an appearance. In space suits. Awesome. Kanye West, as usual, wins at life.
Tina Turner/Beyonce. The outfits were ridiculous and unnecessary. Also the crotch on Tina is saggy… but better a saggy crotch than camel toe. Also the talking before Proud Mary = creepy. My roommate Rooster says it all, “Why is Tina wearing a spacesuit?”
OH! Jesus brought the sunshine. Thanks man. Keep up the good work. Jesus music medley. Uh oh, one of my college buddies, alias Rum&Efron is on to you! “It’s like they are only giving Jesus music 5 minutes so get as many people up there as possible, bc then we are switching to coke addicts.” I couldn’t have said it better if I wanted to. So far Amy Winehouse has won 2 awards. They keep saying she can’t be here, and I want to giggle, cause her visa got denied and she has now moved in with the Osbournes after leaving rehab. Looking forward to her performance a bit… if any of the internet videos I’ve seen of her in the last few months are any indication, it should be entertaining.
Brand new information… the song sung by Feist is an actual song and not just an iPod commercial. Go figure.
Kid Rock + folk singer = awkward. Rum& Efron, being very smart, has muted.
This just in: ROY SCHEIDER HAS DIED. I love Roy Scheider. Jaws, SeaQuest… it doesn’t get much better than that. He was an integral part of my youth, and I secretly wanted him as my father/grandpa. RIP. He will be missed.
Vince Gill just called out Kanye West for never having been given a Grammy by one of the Beatles. Holy Crap. I want Kanye to win whatever else he is nominated for tonight, just to see his response.
Amy Winehouse performs. I am disappointed I can understand most of what is coming out of her mouth. Yikes, the dancing is awkward though. There is NO WAY she is completely sober. Either that or she really has to pee. I find it ironic that she’s saying she won’t go to rehab. This conversation is what transpired after Rum&Efron said she was going to sleep:
Rum&Efron: dude I had to sign back on....what the fuck was that shit????
Smurftastic: ummmmmmmmm CRACKED OUT
Rum&Efron: 1. She was convulsing on stage while grabbing her crotch
Rum&Efron: 2. her back up singers kept looking at her
Rum&Efron: 3. she kept growling while singing
Rum&Efron: 4. she gave a shout out to her incarerated boyfriend
Rum&Efron: 5. she looked like she had no clue how to talk into a microphone
Rum&Efron: seriously....we gave her 3 grammys?
Rum&Efron: only in America can a foreign crack head win 3 grammys
Rum&Efron: that is all I have to say
Rum&Efron: good night!
Pretty fabulous performance by Josh Groban and Andrea Bocelli. Yes, I love those guys, and yes, my mother introduced me to them. I am the epitome of cool. It's OK to be jealous.
Closing performance – Little Richard, Fogerty, Jerry Lee Lewis. Little Richard’s hair is probably bigger than Amy Winehouse’s. Fogerty sounds good though. Lewis has a pretty decent voice for as old has he is. Little Richard looks exactly the same, but may have made up some lyrics. Throwbacks are fun though, so I shant rant too much.
Usher mocks Kanye West also. Herbie Hancock wins album of the year. Awesome, though it would have been nice to hear what Kanye had to say. Gotta love the jazz shoutouts. I love jazz.
All in all, a solid effort on the Grammys this year. Not the best I've ever seen, but certainly not the worst. Only 2 weeks till the Academy Awards AND the writer's strike is over, so they may actually be funny and/or happen. I'm a happy camper.
Not gonna lie, pretty offended by the opening duet with Alicia Keys and Frank Sinatra. I mean I get that everyone goes apeshit for her, and some of her songs are good. But she doesn’t do it for me. And I bet she wouldn’t do it for Frankie. And I swear, if she EVER says anything like “On behalf of the Chairman of the Board” again, I may need to hurt her. I may be a little defensive of him. Maybe. At least it wasn’t a Beatles song. Then it could get violent (or more violent).
Carrie Underwood – my god her legs got toned. She sounded good… hopefully she’ll sound even better when I see her in concert on Wednesday (get excited). Revamped version of Before He Cheats was pretty intense. Solid effort.
Commercial tells me a Beatles tribute is coming. Grammys are usually pretty good about tributes – the Eagles tribute last year was amazing, so I have high hopes. If it's Alicia Keys, I will stab someone.
Chairman of the Grammys + the original members of The Time + key-tar = I’M A HAPPY CAMPER. I have an inappropriate obsession w/ key tars. Key-tar, however, promptly leaves the stage to give way to Rhianna. (which I have no idea how to spell) Think she’s catchy and all, but performance would have been more awesome if they kept the key tar around. Key-tars (like piano key neckties or tuxedo T-shirts) make everything better.
I desperately want to see the Beatles Cirque du Soleil show. Looks like I may need to be on shrooms to understand it, but whatever. I’ll probably like it anyway.
Random presenting combo award goes to: Cindy Lauper and Miley Cyrus. Cindy Lauper is pretty cracked out, and Miley seems a little afraid. I would be too.
JASON BATEMAN APPEARANCE! YES I LOVE HIM! HOGAN FAMILY! ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT! Ok, that may have been too much all caps. I apologize for my exciteability.
I want light up sunglasses like Kanye. Pleased that Daft Punk made an appearance. In space suits. Awesome. Kanye West, as usual, wins at life.
Tina Turner/Beyonce. The outfits were ridiculous and unnecessary. Also the crotch on Tina is saggy… but better a saggy crotch than camel toe. Also the talking before Proud Mary = creepy. My roommate Rooster says it all, “Why is Tina wearing a spacesuit?”
OH! Jesus brought the sunshine. Thanks man. Keep up the good work. Jesus music medley. Uh oh, one of my college buddies, alias Rum&Efron is on to you! “It’s like they are only giving Jesus music 5 minutes so get as many people up there as possible, bc then we are switching to coke addicts.” I couldn’t have said it better if I wanted to. So far Amy Winehouse has won 2 awards. They keep saying she can’t be here, and I want to giggle, cause her visa got denied and she has now moved in with the Osbournes after leaving rehab. Looking forward to her performance a bit… if any of the internet videos I’ve seen of her in the last few months are any indication, it should be entertaining.
Brand new information… the song sung by Feist is an actual song and not just an iPod commercial. Go figure.
Kid Rock + folk singer = awkward. Rum& Efron, being very smart, has muted.
This just in: ROY SCHEIDER HAS DIED. I love Roy Scheider. Jaws, SeaQuest… it doesn’t get much better than that. He was an integral part of my youth, and I secretly wanted him as my father/grandpa. RIP. He will be missed.
Vince Gill just called out Kanye West for never having been given a Grammy by one of the Beatles. Holy Crap. I want Kanye to win whatever else he is nominated for tonight, just to see his response.
Amy Winehouse performs. I am disappointed I can understand most of what is coming out of her mouth. Yikes, the dancing is awkward though. There is NO WAY she is completely sober. Either that or she really has to pee. I find it ironic that she’s saying she won’t go to rehab. This conversation is what transpired after Rum&Efron said she was going to sleep:
Rum&Efron: dude I had to sign back on....what the fuck was that shit????
Smurftastic: ummmmmmmmm CRACKED OUT
Rum&Efron: 1. She was convulsing on stage while grabbing her crotch
Rum&Efron: 2. her back up singers kept looking at her
Rum&Efron: 3. she kept growling while singing
Rum&Efron: 4. she gave a shout out to her incarerated boyfriend
Rum&Efron: 5. she looked like she had no clue how to talk into a microphone
Rum&Efron: seriously....we gave her 3 grammys?
Rum&Efron: only in America can a foreign crack head win 3 grammys
Rum&Efron: that is all I have to say
Rum&Efron: good night!
Pretty fabulous performance by Josh Groban and Andrea Bocelli. Yes, I love those guys, and yes, my mother introduced me to them. I am the epitome of cool. It's OK to be jealous.
Closing performance – Little Richard, Fogerty, Jerry Lee Lewis. Little Richard’s hair is probably bigger than Amy Winehouse’s. Fogerty sounds good though. Lewis has a pretty decent voice for as old has he is. Little Richard looks exactly the same, but may have made up some lyrics. Throwbacks are fun though, so I shant rant too much.
Usher mocks Kanye West also. Herbie Hancock wins album of the year. Awesome, though it would have been nice to hear what Kanye had to say. Gotta love the jazz shoutouts. I love jazz.
All in all, a solid effort on the Grammys this year. Not the best I've ever seen, but certainly not the worst. Only 2 weeks till the Academy Awards AND the writer's strike is over, so they may actually be funny and/or happen. I'm a happy camper.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Bad Idea Jeans
Ok, I'm pretty new to this whole blogger thing, but in my review of the CMT (yes, CMT... suck it you country-hating Jerseyites) awards, I became more aware of a recurring trend of angry scorned lover songs (and equally frightening/creepy videos in most cases). Hence... my first legit post: TOP 5 MODERN MUSICIANS IT IS A HORRIBLE IDEA TO CHEAT ON.
5.) Beyonce. Beyonce snags the bottom spot on this little countdown, because while she asserts her womanlyness, independence, and all that other girl poweryness crap (in a move totally unlike her), she in no way promises physical or property damages. In this case, if I were in the position of the dude who had to move all his stuff "To the left, to the left," I would probably want to kill myself. Nevertheless, I feel that violence is really the way to discourage cheaters, if for entertainment value alone. In this empowering (?) song, Beyonce merely points out that she can replace this guy in a minute. While in the case of Beyonce, such assertions probably mean that guys just fall all over her because of the prettiness, dance moves and loads of cash, for most average chicks, this signifies one of three things: (a) she has drastically lowered her standards and/or gotten drunk, (b) she is kind of a whore, or (c) she drastically lowered her standards when dating the first guy, and replace him with another subpar gent (who will probably also cheat on her, because if we learn nothing from shows like Jerry Springer, ugly people LOVE to screw around on each other). In sum, bad idea to cheat on a chick who will make you feel bad about yourself (as we ladies know how to do pretty well) but, remember, you won't feel so bad when you see her whoring herself out to the next guy who says something nice to her when she's blacked out.
4.) Miranda Lambert. Country because hicks make the best revenge songs (Dont' even try to argue otherwise... you are wrong). This song (Kerosene) is kind of old compared to the others, but it involves setting things on fire. Everyone likes a good fire. Roasting marshmallows is pretty fun. Roasting marshmallows while watching your cheating ex squeal in pain is even more fun, as Miranda teaches us. Also the young innocent appearance of our hero creates an interesting dichotomy between adorable chubby cheeked country singer and complete psycho. Don't judge a book by its cover. Also, she apparently has another song entitled "Crazy Ex Girlfriend." No shit.
3.) Nicole Kidman. Right, I know she doesn't have an album out at all, and her only singing experience is on Moulin Rouge, Happy Feet and that song with Robbie Williams (don't even ask me what that was... I feel horrible enough remembering that it even existed). Nevertheless, she is newly married to Keith Urban (another country singer... sue me), and his latest song is entitled "Stupid Boy." I am 98.5% sure that this song was written about Tom Cruise attempting to inflict his craziness upon Nicole during their marriage. It is possible that he cheated on her with Penelope Cruz during the filming of Vanilla Sky, leading to the break up of their marriage, thus allowing her indirect entry onto this countdown...(do NOT get me started on the Cruz-Cruise phenomenon of a few years ago, in my opinion infinitely more obnoxious than Bennifer). Anyway, its got to be a bad thing when your ex starts dating someone less crazy than you and then he writes an extremely successful/awesome song about it whilst the rest of the world begins to turn on you. Even harsher, Keith just got out of his second(?) stint in rehab and is a country singer (thus turning pretty much everyone in this region of the country against him), and he's still much more likeable than Tom could ever be. Although this song/video doesn't involve injuring personal property or killing/maiming people (admittedly important throughout this ranking), extra points for kicking Cruise when he's down. Damage to public persona for the person deemed to be the "Messiah" of the Scientology faith is always an AWESOME idea. So, don't cheat on/try to convert/divorce Nicole, because like Beyonce and other above-average women, they will replace you immediately. With someone who has an adorable accent. And that person will write a great song that can be attributed by casual observers who just want to see it (read... me or other people who just enjoy the song) to be about you. Stupid Boy.
2.) Justin Timberlake. Wow, Justin. We get it. Girls have screwed you over. While nothing could ever compare to the anti Britney anthem of his first album, this video alone is pretty intense. At first, "What Goes Around" seems only slightly more threatening than good old Beyonce explaining how she is Irreplaceable. What goes around comes around is something you say when your life is sucking, and there is no way you think the cheater's life is as bad. Then you sit back and wallow in the suckiness and hope that at some point, your life is better than your ex's. Pretty doormat-like, if you ask me. I mean get up and do something if you want to get even, and/or warn other possible cheaters against screwing you over or else it will all happen again. BUT, once you see the video... wow. I will never (as if I ever would have before) consider cheating on Justin Timberlake. For God's sake... **SPOILER ALERT** Scarlett (The Harlet) Johansson only kisses his best friend and he pretty much kills her. Wow. Killing someone for just a kiss is pretty extreme, and would normally warrant a #1 ranking in my book, but I feel that the surprise factor is gone after we knew he was capable of a great big FUCK YOU to the ex after "Cry Me a River". For history and homicidal tendencies alone, it would be in anyone's best interests to not cheat on Justin Timberlake. Extra points go here for kicking when down (see Nicole Kidman #3) if this song is also about Britney, cause she is WAY farther down that Tom Cruise right now. Literally. On that guy from rehab (yeah apparently its Howie Day... ew). Wow... that was inappropriate.
1.) Carrie Underwood. Yes, that's right. A country singer at #1. Sorry, but no one knows how to get back at cheaters like country singers. And Carrie really moved up on the badass scale with this song. And she had a lot of climbing to do after "Jesus take the Wheel" and the fact that she's from American Idol. I mean, clearly, a normal chick would get arrested for the shit she pulls in this song/video, but no one cares. I've never even been cheated on, and I find myself actually WANTING that to happen so I can tear the hell out of some redneck's truck. Also, her quip against chicks who drink girly drinks is always a good time. Nothing angers a girl who can pound beer and real hard liquor with the best of them than a girl who drinks vagina drinks (yes, this includes vodka-water-limes) on a regular basis who gets hit on by the guys you are friends with. To be fair, this song probably is guilty of ranking inflation simply because the previous 2 songs of hers were sappy and involved family and religion. Whatever, the surprise factor pushed her up over the JT killing spree. In short, if a country boy or other type who loves his car (or other easily vandalized possession) cheats on you, Carrie Underwood will teach you how to handle it. And the way to handle it is to fuck his shit up and teach him a lesson.
Honorable Mention: Frankie J (per the request of DJ Victorious) - I would have added this song, but I don't know enough about it to rant. Suggestions are welcome in the comments!
5.) Beyonce. Beyonce snags the bottom spot on this little countdown, because while she asserts her womanlyness, independence, and all that other girl poweryness crap (in a move totally unlike her), she in no way promises physical or property damages. In this case, if I were in the position of the dude who had to move all his stuff "To the left, to the left," I would probably want to kill myself. Nevertheless, I feel that violence is really the way to discourage cheaters, if for entertainment value alone. In this empowering (?) song, Beyonce merely points out that she can replace this guy in a minute. While in the case of Beyonce, such assertions probably mean that guys just fall all over her because of the prettiness, dance moves and loads of cash, for most average chicks, this signifies one of three things: (a) she has drastically lowered her standards and/or gotten drunk, (b) she is kind of a whore, or (c) she drastically lowered her standards when dating the first guy, and replace him with another subpar gent (who will probably also cheat on her, because if we learn nothing from shows like Jerry Springer, ugly people LOVE to screw around on each other). In sum, bad idea to cheat on a chick who will make you feel bad about yourself (as we ladies know how to do pretty well) but, remember, you won't feel so bad when you see her whoring herself out to the next guy who says something nice to her when she's blacked out.
4.) Miranda Lambert. Country because hicks make the best revenge songs (Dont' even try to argue otherwise... you are wrong). This song (Kerosene) is kind of old compared to the others, but it involves setting things on fire. Everyone likes a good fire. Roasting marshmallows is pretty fun. Roasting marshmallows while watching your cheating ex squeal in pain is even more fun, as Miranda teaches us. Also the young innocent appearance of our hero creates an interesting dichotomy between adorable chubby cheeked country singer and complete psycho. Don't judge a book by its cover. Also, she apparently has another song entitled "Crazy Ex Girlfriend." No shit.
3.) Nicole Kidman. Right, I know she doesn't have an album out at all, and her only singing experience is on Moulin Rouge, Happy Feet and that song with Robbie Williams (don't even ask me what that was... I feel horrible enough remembering that it even existed). Nevertheless, she is newly married to Keith Urban (another country singer... sue me), and his latest song is entitled "Stupid Boy." I am 98.5% sure that this song was written about Tom Cruise attempting to inflict his craziness upon Nicole during their marriage. It is possible that he cheated on her with Penelope Cruz during the filming of Vanilla Sky, leading to the break up of their marriage, thus allowing her indirect entry onto this countdown...(do NOT get me started on the Cruz-Cruise phenomenon of a few years ago, in my opinion infinitely more obnoxious than Bennifer). Anyway, its got to be a bad thing when your ex starts dating someone less crazy than you and then he writes an extremely successful/awesome song about it whilst the rest of the world begins to turn on you. Even harsher, Keith just got out of his second(?) stint in rehab and is a country singer (thus turning pretty much everyone in this region of the country against him), and he's still much more likeable than Tom could ever be. Although this song/video doesn't involve injuring personal property or killing/maiming people (admittedly important throughout this ranking), extra points for kicking Cruise when he's down. Damage to public persona for the person deemed to be the "Messiah" of the Scientology faith is always an AWESOME idea. So, don't cheat on/try to convert/divorce Nicole, because like Beyonce and other above-average women, they will replace you immediately. With someone who has an adorable accent. And that person will write a great song that can be attributed by casual observers who just want to see it (read... me or other people who just enjoy the song) to be about you. Stupid Boy.
2.) Justin Timberlake. Wow, Justin. We get it. Girls have screwed you over. While nothing could ever compare to the anti Britney anthem of his first album, this video alone is pretty intense. At first, "What Goes Around" seems only slightly more threatening than good old Beyonce explaining how she is Irreplaceable. What goes around comes around is something you say when your life is sucking, and there is no way you think the cheater's life is as bad. Then you sit back and wallow in the suckiness and hope that at some point, your life is better than your ex's. Pretty doormat-like, if you ask me. I mean get up and do something if you want to get even, and/or warn other possible cheaters against screwing you over or else it will all happen again. BUT, once you see the video... wow. I will never (as if I ever would have before) consider cheating on Justin Timberlake. For God's sake... **SPOILER ALERT** Scarlett (The Harlet) Johansson only kisses his best friend and he pretty much kills her. Wow. Killing someone for just a kiss is pretty extreme, and would normally warrant a #1 ranking in my book, but I feel that the surprise factor is gone after we knew he was capable of a great big FUCK YOU to the ex after "Cry Me a River". For history and homicidal tendencies alone, it would be in anyone's best interests to not cheat on Justin Timberlake. Extra points go here for kicking when down (see Nicole Kidman #3) if this song is also about Britney, cause she is WAY farther down that Tom Cruise right now. Literally. On that guy from rehab (yeah apparently its Howie Day... ew). Wow... that was inappropriate.
1.) Carrie Underwood. Yes, that's right. A country singer at #1. Sorry, but no one knows how to get back at cheaters like country singers. And Carrie really moved up on the badass scale with this song. And she had a lot of climbing to do after "Jesus take the Wheel" and the fact that she's from American Idol. I mean, clearly, a normal chick would get arrested for the shit she pulls in this song/video, but no one cares. I've never even been cheated on, and I find myself actually WANTING that to happen so I can tear the hell out of some redneck's truck. Also, her quip against chicks who drink girly drinks is always a good time. Nothing angers a girl who can pound beer and real hard liquor with the best of them than a girl who drinks vagina drinks (yes, this includes vodka-water-limes) on a regular basis who gets hit on by the guys you are friends with. To be fair, this song probably is guilty of ranking inflation simply because the previous 2 songs of hers were sappy and involved family and religion. Whatever, the surprise factor pushed her up over the JT killing spree. In short, if a country boy or other type who loves his car (or other easily vandalized possession) cheats on you, Carrie Underwood will teach you how to handle it. And the way to handle it is to fuck his shit up and teach him a lesson.
Honorable Mention: Frankie J (per the request of DJ Victorious) - I would have added this song, but I don't know enough about it to rant. Suggestions are welcome in the comments!
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