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Showing posts with label Dancing with the Stars. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dancing with the Stars. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Top 10 Long Term Celebrity Crushes

OK. So I'm keeping the intro short, cause this is gonna be LONG entry. Since I stole from KSquizz's twitter idea about long term celebrity crushes, I couldn't keep the list to just five, and within the twitter length limits. So here is the one rule - we must have been "mildly stalking these men for at least the last 5 years." That's it. My picks are first then KSquizz's follow. Comments are in small font below.

Smurftastic #10 = Jason Bateman. Ever since the Hogan Family I knew there was something about him. Then there was Arrested Development. And now I will see movies I otherwise would have no desire to see just because he's in them.

KSquizz - So I remembered Jason Bateman as one of the doofy twins on the Hogan family and vaguely remembered there was a hot older brother. But according to my extensive research (2 minutes of googling) he was the hot older brother? So yeah you were right to love him from then on. I am new to Arrested Development, but his relationship with Michael Cera makes me want to have his babies. (Also, Michael Cera makes it onto my reasons I am a borderline pedophile list also featuring the werewolf from Twilight and the littlest Jonas Brother.) Also, his character in Dodgeball was so awesome he should have won an oscar, just saying. Good pick.

K Squizz # 10 - Bradley Cooper. He is the most recent addition to this list since I discovered him in "I Want to Marry Ryan Banks" where he played the sidekick to Jason Priestley who eventually gets the girl. Oh ABC family, you are just wonderful. Since then, he has popped up as secondary characters or villains in a lot of stuff, including super douche Sack Lodge in Wedding Crashers. Since he often plays fratty types, I am pretty sure he is one in real life. But I am okay with that. As mentioned in the Twitter list, he loses some of his appeal because he is the new hot thing thanks to The Hangover, but I really wanted "Kitchen Confidential" to be a success for him so I guess I should be happy for him. His sudden appearance on the A List has all but killed any chance of he and I finding love. :( But Bradley, squished face Zewellger? (Yeah, I refuse to spell check that. Scew you, Squishy.) Not okay, Brad. Not okay.

Smurftastic - SOLID pick. He is actually my latest, and most intense, celebrity obsession. Mainly the addition of the floppy hair from The Hangover makes me super weak in the knees. 1) WHAT IS WRONG WITH FRATTY DUDES? And 2) how do you ditch Jen Aniston for Zelwegger, who is well past her adorable, not-creepily-skinny Jerry Maguire days? Could be sick in the head. Ugh.

KSquizz - In response to your BCoop response (yep, we are on a nickname basis in our imaginary relationship), I do have a special place in my heart for Fratty boys, but I require them to have a heart of gold. He might to Sack Lodgey in real life.

Smurftastic #9 = Lucas Johnson. Yes, I'll be ridiculously surprised (and impressed) if you've ever heard of him, but he used to play basketball for the Fighting Illini. He graduated my senior year of high school. Not a huge point scorer, but definitely the life and badass-ness of the team. My sister and I shared an obsession through his college career, culminating in me regularly buying him drinks at Kam's (home of the Drinking Illini) every time he comes back to campus to visit/score free drinks off of groupies like me (and my father... who buys him and his buddies beer by the pitcher). My senior year I made him hang out with the freshman girls from my sorority, and had the awkward "who is this guy?" chat with them, with him sitting right next to me. This obsession/mild stalking/crush has continued even past my college days, namely, when I venture back for Homecoming. I always said I wasn't truly a jersey-chaser in college, cause I really preferred the dudes who had already graduated. I have enclosed a picture for your reference, but really, the attitude is what I love. PS - his brother also played for U of I before I became a true fan = even hotter.
Smurftastic, keeping former college ball players relevant since 2001. http://www.fightingillini.com/sports/m-baskbl/mtt/johnson_lucas00.html

KSquizz - Rogue to pick a pseudo celeb who you have actually met, but I feel like that has probably made the obsession that much stronger. I can't wait until you guys get married and then have to get couples counseling because he sees this online. I know zip about him, but he seems like a giant, and you are so small so that makes me happy. Hopefully, he hasn't gotten the former athlete fats.

KSquizz #9 = Ryan Reynolds. I really did love him as snarky med student Berg [Ed note - 2 Guys and a Girl). Let's not lie. He is outrageously hot, and he has such range as an actor: wise ass college student, wise ass waiter, wise ass vampire slayer, and wise ass super hero. I would guess that Ryan Reynolds is a bit of a wise ass. But as long as he is shirtless in every role ever, he could be a wise ass plumber, and I would watch. I saw Blade Trinity in the theater for him, despite my undying hatred for Jessica Biel. There was a time where I believed I could actually date him because of the Alanis thing. Perhaps, he was a little bit blind? But now he is married to ScarJo. So much for that.

Smurftastic - Fact that he's Canadian = bonus points... He loses points because of the ScarJo thing (stripper lips and her in general turn me off), but I'd still hit it.

Smurftastic #8 = Donny Osmond. One of the first times I realized boys could be cute instead of just yucky was when I was approximately 8 years old and went to see him in Chicago in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. It wasn't him in the loincloth that did it, it was the picture in the playbook. I said something to the likes of "oh without the ridiculous hair he's way cute" to my mother or my sister or whoever was sitting by me. From there I was hooked on his Mormon goodness, and had officially entered the realm of having crushes on celebrities. I became obsessed with the Joseph soundtrack, and spent more than one summer watching the Donny & Marie talk show every single day. Then I was made aware of "I'll Make a Man Out of You" from Mulan, which became one of my favorite Disney songs of all time. I loved it to the point where my high school friend and I chanted "Mulan... Mulan" over and over again when we went to his concert (yes, concert) with my mother. Eff Puppy Love, I wanted him to be mysterious as the dark side of the moon. He didn't sing it [Ed note - sadface]. He and Marie were in Vegas over 09 spring break performing at the same hotel where we were staying and despite my constant begging, my friends wouldn't go (some friends, the sluts). That didn't stop my from posing for pictures in front of cardboard cutout promo pics of him. Now he's going to be on Dancing with the Stars, and judging by the cheesiness of his solo press picture and the energy of his first two dances, it's going to be awesome (or ridiculous, or both). The man isn't hot, per se, but he is way cute in a puppy dog (Puppy Love?) kind of way, and I love it. Plus he seems like a good person, which is nice balance to some of the sex fiends on this list.

KSquizz - I won't lie. I do not get the Donny Osmond thing. He looks like a human bobble-head doll to me. But I don't dislike him, I simply find him asexual.

KSquizz #8 = Keanu Reeves - So I obviously became aware of Keanu's existence when he created all that Oscar buzz as Ted "Theodore" Logan. He didn't do it for me then, though. He was a slacker, stoner kid, and that isn't so much my thing. Also, I was like 5, and most boys had cooties still. However, I am, however, attracted to multi-racial, cocky, bomber-stopping LA cops with surfer accents and a heart of gold so Keanu and I fell in love when he made Speed. Seriously, he is outrageously hot in that movie. I literally watched Speed two nights ago and was still completely into him. Since then, I have seen a significant portion of his work, and it has all delivered: Point Break, Dracula, The Devil's Advocate, Matrix, Constanine,Replacements, etc. (It probably helps that I enjoy fanboy type movies and never saw his misguided attempt at Shakespeare.) For me, he has stood the test of time. I don't know how but he has maybe aged 5 years in the 20 I have been aware of him. I get that his acting is not the greatest, and he is a joke to a solid percentage of the population, but I love him. I have read his wiki page more than once for fun. A sign of true love. To conclude this paragraph of devotion to "cool breeze over the mountains" (oh that is what Keanu means), I am linking you to this slideshow which features Keanu's acting range. Yeah it is making fun of him, but he still looks hot so it is win win. .http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2008/12/a_field_guide_to_the_complete.html

Smurftastic - Keanu - Point Break is one of the greatest movies ever made (read, Swayze obit), but I never truly found he was that hot till he was romancing Diane Keaton in Somethings Gotta Give. Sigh... when I'm old I want a hot doctor to fall for me. With floppy hair no less. Also...




Smurftastic #7 = Matthew Perry. Started the crush when he was Carol's BF Sandy on Growing Pains (even though he died in a drunk driving accident on what was, I’m sure “a very special episode” that parents should watch with their kids)... fully developed into Chandler obsession. Chandler Bing, though fictional, may be my ideal man. Cute, but not in an intimidating way, and sarcastic… but in a funny, not a mean way. OK it’s kind of mean, but it’s definitely funny. It is my personal goal for my sense of humor to be as much like Chandler’s as possible. Usually that just presents itself as me quoting him. A lot. Also, the way he proposed to Monica still makes me tear up and I've seen it WELL over 50 times. It's one of the two "perfect proposals for Smurftastic" on this list. [Ed note, see also #5, and if you put them together, she'll be yours forever.] My love for Chandler and all things Matthew Perry led me to watch Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip for it’s entirely too short run. That became, quite possibly, my favorite television show of all time, and Matt Albie’s head writer/exec producer was the perfect mix of wit and complications for a Sorkin drama. Perry seems an unlikely romantic leading man, but his role in Studio 60 solidified him for me. I now spend weekends creeping on him on IMDB and renting his latest indie flicks. I count the days till he makes his return to TV, if that ever happens. Not to mention the man is Canadian, and not only a tennis fan, but my understanding is that he’s also an excellent player. Sigh. Couldn’t be more perfect for Smurftastic….

KSquizz - I think you are right that Chandler Bing is the ideal man. He also strikes me as totally attainable which is something else. I also am a big fan of Fools Rush In, his chick flick with Salam Hayek. I will watch it every time it comes on TBS.

KSquizz #7 = Nathan Fillion - Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place was not all bad. (I am pretty sure the pizza place eventually got cut from the title- unimportant.) Not only did it lead to my discovery of Ryan Reynolds, another hot Canadian burst onto my scene, the lovely and talented, Nathan Fillion. Since then, he was on Buffy which means hecan do no wrong for me. If you can find any Sci-Fi enjoyable, you must watch Firefly/Serenity. His character may in fact be the perfect man, and completely cements Fillion as a crush-worthy actor. I am sure people who aren’t familiar with him will probably still recognize him as he pops up all over, most notably as the doctor who Felicity loves in Waitress and as Kate’s almost husband on Lost. He is currently the star of Castle, where he is snarky and awesome. Also, he sings and is hilarious as Captain Hammer in “Dr. Horrible’s Sing A Long Blog.” Never saw it? Go hulu it or download it on itunes, immediately. I will wait. (Three Joss Whedon shows and Lost? Yes, I am a nerd.) So his career appeals to me, obviously, but there is more. Nathan is like PRINCE CHARMING HANDSOME. Look at him. That jaw! Those eyes! Yum. He also manages to be adorable and lovable in everything he does. His characters, even when they are douche bags or bad guys, are likable or at least enjoyable to watch. My stalking has reached a new level now that I follow him on Twitter. (He is the only man on this list who holds that honor.) The “following”, which even sounds like stalking, has led to an even greater obsession because he is hilarious and sweet and likable. I now find myself constantly rooting for him to succeed. I am like doing PR for him for free. It’s love.

Smurftastic - I'm least familiar w/ him, but I watched 5 mins of Castle last night and found him adorable/riveting. Plus he's apparently friends with NPH. TOTAL BONUS. And Canadian. Additional bonus. Sidenote - the two who I follow on twitter thusfar are Donny, Jordan, and Matthew, in case you care.

Smurftastic #6 - JC Chasez, formerly of the band NSYNC, currently of the show “America’s Best Dance Crew,” permanently of my heart. Well done, MTV, for taking a show I’d never watch otherwise (and probably actively avoid), and put the high school love of my life on it for brief moments. Well done, JC, for having a career beyond the solo albums, and being a pretty great producer these days. My love for JC was borne out of 2 things: 1 – when I discovered NSYNC, I didn’t want to pick Justin as my favorite, because EVERYONE liked Justin. Every so often, I crave originality. 2 – on my NSYNC *N The Mix VHS (which I still have, obvi) and the Disney In-Concert special, JC came off as the most educated about the art of music as well as about the industry. He plays piano and creates jazz/classical versions of some NSYNC songs. My heart partially melted. Heart fully FULLY melted when I saw the NSYNC edition of the old VHI show “Before They Were Stars,” and they show JC’s Mickey Mouse Club audition video. Pretty much the cutest thing ever when tween aged JC sings Richard Marx’s Right Here Waiting for You. Then came Disney Channel re-airing the Mickey Mouse Clubs on a “Where’d you MMC them first” weekend (Featuring Justin, Britney, Christina, JC, Ryan Gosling, Keri Russel, etc). Just. Awesome. Not to mention JC has the dark hair green/blue eyes thing going for him. That’s my fave. Pretty sure there isn’t anything he could do to make me not love him, especially after that part of their No Strings Attached Concert DVD where they sing Digital Get Down. If you’ve ever spent more than 2 hours in my apartment, you probably know what it is. I’ve shown it to you. If not, you’re missing out. Also he’s pretty good friends with Chace Crawford (Gossip Girl’s Nate) now. That’s a lot of hotness to be present together. Just saying.

KSquizz - Oh how I once loved J.C. Chasez. He was my love on MMC. In fact, as I was writing my Ryan Gosling paragraph I had a moment where I remembered J.C singing "Right Here Waiting for You." Adorable. He was my favorite NSyncer, too. And I also owned/constantly watched NSYNC in the Mix and the Disney Channel Concert Special. J.C. and I broke up though when he launched his solo career. "Some Girls Dance with Women" Oh, J.C. Terrible. Also, he took on a pretty douchey personality/personal style for awhile when he was dating Eva Longoria. I couldn't take it. But I loved him once

Smurftastic - I'm not denying the album wasn't great. But I did buy it, the day it came out. Still sometimes listen to it. I'd still hit it, terrible music and debateable douchiness included.

KSquizz #6 = Ryan Gosling – The person who cast the new Mickey Mouse Club should win some sort of award. Timberlake, Britney, Aguilera, Russell, and the baby goose. He was adorable on the show though admittedly I loved J.C. more as a child. (I know, I could have picked a little better but he was cute! [Ed note - offended]) Still there was no denying that RG was a cutie and he has managed to stay that way. He also turned out to be arguably the most talented actor the MMC produced. I don’t see Timberlake or Spears with any Oscar nominations on their resume. I always knew he had it in him when I was watching that miserable fake SBTB on a cruise ship he was on as a teenager. Yep, that’s right a teen comedy on a cruise ship. And I watched it. He really was THAT cute. Gosling increased his acting cred and slowly grew into a serious adult hottie in things like Remember the Titans and Murder by Numbers (playing a hot serial killer- a hot serial killer? I may need therapy.) He even bagged himself a cougar during the latter project. Somehow his dating Sandra Bullock made him hotter to me like he was learning stuff…mmm…anyway. If you did not want him after The Notebook, well, I don’t know what to do with you. He was romantic, funny, bad ass, also his body in that?!?!?!....all in all generally totally bone-able (bonable?). He even made scruff hot, and I generally am anti-scruff. Since then he has gone on to be in ridiculously good movies, earned himself the a forementioned Oscar nomination and dated Rachel McAdams (a girl crush of mine) twice, all while appearing incredibly down to earth, hard-working, and likable. Your move, Timberlake.

Smurftastic - Weird that this pick is the same number as JC, the other MMCer on the list. Loved BabyGoose on MMC, particularly when he did those fake news reports, and that time he sang in a quartet with Justin, JC and the random black kid who's name I don't remember. They were wearing beigey-white VERY baggy clothes and it was HOTTTT. Also love him in Remember the Titans. Refuse to watch the Notebook on principle, but ONLY saw Murder by Numbers because of him. True story. Also a true story, I thought he was the same dude as the son from "The Nanny." For several years. This is what the world was like before IMDB.
OH AND LOOK WHAT I FOUND!




Smurftastic #5 - Devon Sawa. Though my love for him has diminished in intensity as of late (cause he’s not in much anymore), I will always credit him for being the dude to lead me into my boy crazy/Tiger Beat phase. I remember when we were scheduled to watch Casper in 6th grade, all of my friends were like “OMG WAIT TILL YOU SEE DEVON HE’S SO DREAMY!” I, till that point, had chosen to look at those boy crazy Jonathan Taylor Thomas fans with disdain. I was better than them because I stuck with more admirable pursuits than putting posters on my wall [Ed note - like playing pogs]. That was up until the scene where Casper became a real, live, HOT boy, who swept both Christina Ricci and myself of our respective feet. To this day, if a boy ever legitimately whispered “Can I keep you?” in my ears, I might literally die. I’d for sure accept a wedding proposal that featured it, in case you care. I then was sucked into the Tiger Beat firestorm. Devon was everywhere on my walls (along with a few JTT, and lots of Jonathan Brandis, who would be on this list, but for the fact that he’s no longer alive, [Ed note - pause while I pour one out for my SeaQuest homie]). After Casper, Devon had a fabulous role as Scott Wormer in Now & Then, possibly my favorite movie of tween-hood. Also if you pause it at the exact right spot during the skinny dipping scene, you can see his man-business. Devon had other roles littered with kickassery in Idle Hands, Little Giants, and Final Destination. He is still working, with 2 movies set to be released in 2009. Also, according to his most recent IMDB bio photo, he has aged quite well. http://www.imdb.com/media/rm3402729728/nm0001701

KSquizz - I loved Devon, too. A lot. He was adorable in all those movies. I saw Wild America in the theater, the epic tween film featuring Devon, JTT, AND Brian Littrel's future wife. The last thing I remember him doing was playing "Stan" in Eminem's video. He was in kind of an unattractive awkward stage in it. Glad to see he has grown out of it.

KSquizz #5 = Mark-Paul Gosselar – No shock here. Every girl in her twenties should be in love with MPG. Zack Morris and his dyed locks (sad face that he isn’t a natural blonde) stole the hearts of little girls everywhere. He was outrageously hot and the character was amazingly lovable, which if you think about it, is a testament to MPG’s acting skills because Zack could have potentially been douche if played wrong. Unlike some other teen idols of the day (see the Joe Mac v. Jordan Knight Debate), Mark-Paul owned the hearts of every Saved by the Bell fan. Have you ever met someone who thought Slater was hotter? No. You haven’t because no one in their right mind could ever feel that way. I have seen every Saved by the Bell episode featuring Zack. College years, Hawaiian style (which I own on vhs), even his cameos on the new class. He definitely struggled a little post SBTB, which made it hard to stick with him, but I continued to root for his hotness to succeed. He did a very standard teen idol thing at the time and played a rapist who attacked Candace Cameron Bure and Six from Blossom in a tv movie that I am sure they still run on Lifetime. He was pretty good playing a non-Zack in Dead Man on Campus. He played a straight man who was a gay porn star on Law & Order SVU.Seriously. Finally, he seemed to rise above the rest of his Saved bythe Bell cast (deservedly so) to become a legitimate actor and an apparent muse of Steven Bochco. He was good on NYPD Blue. He was GREAT on Commander in Chief. He is some of the good that keeps Raising the Bar from being BAD. He also wins at life for coming to terms with SBTB and appearing IN CHARACTER as Zack Morris on Jimmy Fallon. Love! Finally, he is the only person on this list I have ever actually seen in person and he was totally awesome. Note: Raising the Bar is written/produced by a former professor from Smurftastic’s and my law school. They had a legit premiere of the show featuring a Q&A by MPG at the school. At the end, as he was being pushed out the door by his biotchy PR girl, he stopped to take a picture with me even though the PR chick had already told everyone no. He even grabbed someone to take the pic. A celebrity who appreciates that the fans are the reason you are famous. LOVE!

Smurftastic - sigh, he made my honorable mention - let's talk about MPG's visit to the school. I bought a new camera (henceforth known as Zack Morris camera), curled my hair, wore skinny jeans and heels, and anyone who knows me knows that getting me out of a hoodie and sneaks is a rare feat. I almost got into a car accident when my friend told me he was coming to the school. I then called no fewer than 10 of my friends and family to relay my excitement via screaming and lots of "OH MY GOD"s. Much like Ferris Bueller, Zack was a childhood hero. Unlike Ferris, I also lusted after him. I had a "SBTB Wedding in Las Vegas party" in Summer of 2008. I served champagne. I also watch Raising the Bar and think it is awesome. MPG, in my opinion, hotter with dark hair.

Smurftastic #4 - Harrison Ford. By far the elder statesman of this esteemed compilation, Harrison Ford grabbed my attention the very first time I saw Raiders of the Lost Ark. Sigh. He’s so dreamy. Then I saw Star Wars. Also dreamy (worse hair and fedora-less, but still dreamy). Both characters had a wit and disdain about them that I was extremely attracted to (chicks like mean D-bags, what can I say?). Harrison is yet another that has aged very VERY well, from the Fugitive through Air Force One. I’ll see pretty much anything he’s in (including Hollywood Homicide. In the theaters. On opening day. Shudder). Yes, I still think he is hot. I actually liked (though not as much as the previous 3) the new Indiana Jones’ movie. I am even willing to put up with the fact that he now has an earring and is engaged to Ally McBeal. I will love him forever. He is to me as Paul Newman was to my mom.

KSquizz - He is EPIC. He is starting to look a little old, but only justa little. I am VERY anti him and Callista though. Yick.

KSquizz #4 = Leonardo DiCaprio - Honestly, if he didn’t appear on this list it would be a shame, but he dropped a little bit from his original ranking. I, like so many, did love him as the adorable homeless kid Mike Seaver saves on Growing Pains. His character was essentially supposed to be the new likable Mike Seaver since Kirk Cameron decided to find God and lose evolution. And truly, Leo did it better. That is how you knew he was going to be huge. Though despite his best efforts (Gilbert Grape), he was dragged into the teen idol realm for a long time. I like so many other teenaged girls spent hundreds of dollars I wish I had back on teen magazines to paper the walls of my room with pictures of the Backstreet Boys, Nsync, and Leonardo Dicaprio. I saw Titanic for my 14th Birthday party. He was a legit, modern Beatle [Ed note - offended]. Liking Leo at that time was a guilty pleasure for me. I was actually mildly ashamed of it then because SO MANY people were obsessed with him, but still he graced my walls with excuses like “Oh well, he looks hot in that one so I hung it.” Meanwhile, I was watching Romeo and Juliet and Titanic and secretly hoping he would find me and, despite our 9 year age gap, want to marry me. I was a 15 year old judging myself for loving him. That’s how popular he was. But then he completely justified my love for him by making totally legit movies and becoming a hot man. Gangs of New York! Catch Me If You Can! The Departed!!!! Are you kidding me? !!! How awesome an actor do you have to be to steal scenes from Nicholson? Someone please give this man an Oscar! Also, the hottest he has ever been in a film. There are more, like Blood Diamond, and I am dying to see Shutter Island, but you get the picture. He rules. He is occasionally photographed with his hot foreign supermodel of the moment girlfriend appearing kind of chunky, but I can totally forgive him a belly. He is still ridiculously handsome. He is another one with great eyes. Add in the fact that my number one ultimate girlcrush, Kate Winslet, has professed her undying love for Leo as a person. Well, he gets continuous love from me, pretty much forever.

Smurftastic - Sigh... I never fully got on the Leo train. His hot/adorableness peaked for me on Growing Pains. I find him attractive, and incredibly talented, but I don't stalk. He's all yours.

Smurftastic #3 = Hugh Grant - Surprisingly, he's the only British or accented dude on my list. That is unexpected, as people with British, Irish, and/or Australian accents are better than regular people in almost all situations. Believe it or not, Hugh first arrived on my radar at around the same time the "picking up a hideous prostitute named Devine" scandal broke. Yet I stuck by him/continually defend him to my mother [Ed note - IT WAS 14 YEARS AGO, LET IT GO!]. Was it the floppy hair? Probably not, I like him better without it. The puppy dog droopy eyes? Maybe. The accent? Definitely had a part in it. But what keeps me coming back for more with good old Hugh is his biting wit, and the fact that he makes fun of pretty much everyone. That, and I think I’m secretly destined to marry a bumbling Brit. I even watched American Dreamz and found it less than horrific (Dennis Quaid certainly didn't hurt either). Hugh's early work (eg Four Weddings and a Funeral) is not my favorite of his, but his roles in 4 of my favorite movies EVER (Bridget Jones' Diary, About a Boy, Two Weeks Notice, and Love Actually) will keep him high atop my most dateable celebrities list from years to come. No matter how many times he "unretires" from acting or romantic comedies, I won't get frustrated. The man has an accent and a sense of humor. Plus he went to Oxford. He’s smart, and he doesn’t often deal with bullshit from the press. He's like my kryptonite, hooker loving or not. Plus, according to his Wikipedia page, he’s not dating anyone seriously. [Ed note - AHEM. Neither am I. AHEM.] On a creepy note… the look he gets in his eyes right before he’s about to have that perfect kiss with his leading lady at the end of his movies just might be the sexiest thing ever. EVER.

KSquizz - Hugh Grant is not my favorite. I actually would choose Colin Firth if I were living a real life Bridget Jones love triangle. However, his prime minister in Love Actually is adorable. I especially love his dance scene. And you can't go wrong with British accents.

Smurftastic - HAVE YOU SEEN COLIN FIRTH KISS A WOMAN IN THE MOVIES? AWKWARD. FACE. EATER. Otherwise, yeah he'd probably be on here. But he looks like a Disney Prince slash chiropractor.

Ksquizz #3 - Joshua Jackson. The Mighty Ducks may be the greatest children’s movie of all time. I think we can all agree that it is probably top 5. Say what you want about the sequels, I also love them. There are two reasons those movies stand the test of time with our generation: 1) Emilio, and 2) adorable little Joshua Jackson. Though my crush was firmly placed on Adam Banks in those movies, Charlie held a special place in my 9 year old heart. But Joshua Jackson’s career was not over and neither were his plays for my affection. Because Joshua Jackson is also Pacey Witter. That’s right, Super Hot, Smart Ass, Banging a Teacher, Kind of a Jerk, but with a heart of gold, PaceyWitter. He played the absolute perfect character for me to fall in love with as a teenager. If you were on Team Dawson while you watched Dawson’s Creek, I am judging you. Right now, judged. Even the writers ended up on Team Pacey! He got the girl!!! (In real life too,before Tom Cruise. Nice work, Josh.) Now, he is on Fringe which appeals to all my nerdy sensibilities and is pretty successful. I am pretty convinced Joshua Jackson is the new George Clooney. They have a similar look and attitudes. Funny, a little bit sneaky, and handsome. Check the poker scene in Ocean’s Eleven which they are both in, you will see it. Plus, both started out on a popular chick shows. Reappeared on popular prime time dramas. Soon Joshua will be a big time movie star with an Italian villa. You’ll see. And I will still love him then because ducks fly together.

Smurftastic - see my #1. I was on team Dawson, mainly because NO ONE DATES SPAZZWAY BUT ME. Also, back off. Because I will cut you for him.

Smurftastic #2 = Jordan Knight - Formerly and currently of New Kids on the Block (alias NKOTB). Jordan is by far the longest of my long term crushes, and has the honor of being the only guy on this list I owned a doll of (yes, I had the NKOTB dolls. Sometimes used for NKOTB fun, most often used as the male characters when I played Full House with my Barbies. Jordan was always Steve, because I wanted to be DJ). I picked him out of New Kids glory when I was 4 or 5 and my sister was the avid NKOTB fan. I believe the impetus was that Donny (at the time my favorite) had grown a rat-tail and Jordan got rid of his. I’m proud to have been anti rat-tail even in the late 80s before it was cool. Jordan’s falsetto has been melting my heart ever since. After NKOTB broke up, I felt something missing in my life… an emptiness. But Jordan came roaring back with the erotically charged “Give it to You” and a full solo album, and TOURED WITH NSYNC on the Boys of Summer Tour. Worlds colliding in the very very best way. More proof that he’s the one for me. He’s still adorable, can still dance, and still has mad pipes. NKOTB reunited in 2008, and reclaimed my heart. My love for Jordan clearly has legs and will be around for a long, long time. Someday I’ll simultaneously teach my children about the benefits of having “the Right Stuff” and the pitfalls of rat-tails.

KSquizz - Jordan was my favorite new kid, and he still is. I saw that boys of summer tour he did with NSYNC. I lost track of him though, I must admit. He has managed to remain pretty hot though. Good for him

KSquizz #2 = Gavin Rossdale. I know Gavin Rossdale is a rogue choice especially so high on the list, but he has been someone I have consistently lusted after since the 5th grade. And overall, I think he may be the absolutely hottest guy on this list. It definitely helps that he wrote and sang some of my favorite songs of my middle school career. I heard Swallowed on the radio the other day and blasted it as loud as it would go [Ed note - that's what she said]. Something about him is just sexier to me than most of the guys on this list. I am sure the musician thing is helping. I KNOW the British thing is helping. Accents are delicious. The fact that he hasn’t changed at all in the 15 years I have loved him probably helps. Additionally, I know he makes some adorable babies and is married to one of my all time girl crushes(which helps a dude’s cred on this list). He also doesn’t seem to mind at all that his wife is currently more famous than him. He just remains incredibly cool and chills with Roger Federer. I just LOVE Gavin. I really liked his last album, and I kept hoping for it to be huge commercially. I also keep hoping he will break out as an actor,which he may. He was really good as a demon in Constantine. I am even going to dvr his ass on Criminal Minds this season. I could make some dorky joke about my love for Gavin remaining the same, but I won’t. He is far too cool for that.

Smurftastic - He's cute, and British, I can't fault you for that. And that's all I have to say about that (she types while thinking in a Forrest Gump accent)

Smurftastic #1 - JOSHUA JACKSON. My love for Josh began in 1992 with a little movie called The Mighty Ducks. Charlie Conway skated into my heart as the somewhat bumbling, yet tender and passionate leader of a team of economically disadvantaged young hockey players. He made Gordon Bombay CARE about his team, and changed the face of motion pictures as we know it. Josh was back in D2 with a haircut that made him even cuter, and with D3, we got to see him grow before our very eyes. Joshua was the SOLE reason I started watching Dawson’s Creek, and the scene in the detention episode of the first season (see below) is one of my most treasured in television history. Throughout the shows run, I very rarely called him Pacey, instead referring to him as Charlie, even though Pacey was my favorite character. I passionately hated any woman he dated on the show, because IT SHOULD BE ME. He had some great roles in movies like Cruel Intentions, The Skulls, Bobby and Urban Legend, and returned to television in 2008 on the Fox show “Fringe.” Prior to Fringe, Joshua was my most frequently IMDBed actor, because I couldn’t wait to see what the Duck’s captain would come up with next. He is Canadian (bonus), and always plays rather witty characters. I love him. I will always love him. I will see pretty much anything he is in. He is currently dating Diane Kruger. I hate her. I don’t want to wait for our lives to be over before he falls in love with me. Will it be yes or will it be... sorry?

QUACK, QUACK, QUACK, QUACK GOOOOOOOOOO DUCKS!




KSquizz - Joshua Jackson almost overtook Gavin Rossdale to make it to my #2. Heis simply the new George Clooney. Mark my words!
Smurftastic - again, back off. I will cut you.


KSquizz #1 = DEREK JETER – Gavin lost his original spot as number one on this list when I decided that an athlete counted and that there is no person I have been devoted to as obsessively in my whole life as Derek Jeter. He first appeared as a Yankee in 1995, but his 1996 season was when I and the rest of the world took notice. I have loved him as a fan since he became the Yankees everyday shortstop, but he managed to cement that love by signing a personalized autograph to me when I was in 6th grade and spelled my name correctly without prompting. It doesn’t take much for a superstar to get a 12 year old to love him. Since then I have been envisioning scenarios where I would meet him and we would fall in love. At 15, I was still picturing him stopping baseball games in the 7th inning to propose. No lie. I still find myself plotting how I am going to get invited to a Turn 2 Foundation event, because that is all it will take, obviously. Derek and I have had our rough patches, particularly his dating of Mariah Carey and Jessica Biel- VOMIT. But we have managed to make it through. I am somehow dealing with rumors he is engaged to his new girlfriend. Some chick on Friday Night Lights who my boyfriend calls the hottest woman on television. I can deal as long as it isn’t Mariah, Madonna, or Kate Hudson. (Gross, A-rod. Gross.) What else is there to say? I mean, you may hate the Yankees, but there is no denying the man is hot. His skin is perfect. He has a great smile. He is an athlete so his body is sick, particularly his very nice ass. He has a solid relationship with his family. He is serious, but not so much that he won’t make a joke at his expense. He is also the epitome of class and professionalism in my favorite sport that has taken some really terrible blows the last few years. My level of obsession would probably frighten him in real life, but it is definitely the most serious long term celebrity crush I have had in my whole life. And it isn’t going anywhere.

Smurftastic - Non NYer here, but HE'S BEEN ON THE TEAM SINCE 95?!?!?!?!?!?!? Eesh, I am behind in the times. He's cute, proves funny at times, and is in commercials with Roger Federer. Plus he's not A-Rod, so he has that goin' for him. Me lusting after him would require me spending FAR too much time with Yankee fans to be worth it (no offense). Athletes are always respectable picks, nonetheless. In 1 year, David Beckham will be eligible to be on this list, and will most likley be added, so I see where you are coming from.
So that's it. Sorry it was so long, but we are passionate about our stalking. Let us know what you think and who your long term crushes are in the comments.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

2009 Emmy's Live Thoughts

Present for this live blog = J-bone, Smurftastic and Gingerette.
Occasionally submitting comments via electronic media = Smurftastic’s sister and KSquizz.

Would like to kick this off by saying I’m creepily excited because of NPH hosting. I swear he could do nothing but make Taylor Swift cry and it will still be infinitely better than the “reality host” debacle of last year. He is wearing a white tuxedo jacket with black pants, and this will not be the first time tonight that I lament the fact that the man is gay. Do you think he’d be down to hang out if I got a sex change? I’D DO IT FOR NPH!

My over under bet for Kanye West jokes is 5. KSquizz thinks three, sister thinks 8. AND THAT’S ONE. Tracey Morgan did not think it was funny. They are dividing the show based on genre. I’m pretty exciteddddddddddd… so I don’t get stuck with a whole 2 hours in the middle of shitty cinematography jokes.

Kicking things off with comedy. I’m predicting 30 Rock to win big, but I NEED to see NPH take home a trophy. Of course in the montage they have Jon Hamm cause he’s too good for just drama. I could spread him on a cracker. The glasses theme for the best supporting actress nominees is pretty ridiculous. Big ups to Vanessa Williams for bucking the trend. Kristen Chenoweth wins. Whatever. She’s cute. Her show was cancelled. The tears are excessive. I’m uncomfortable. Moving on.

This breakthrough performance award thing (online vote) seems interesting. I like both Chuck & Blair and the Kris Allen. Eff True Blood. I’m so over this vampire trend. HIMYM presenters. The ladies’ post baby bods look good. Outstanding writing. Boring. 30 Rock. One of my favorite parts of NPH hosting is that he mocks his own terrible jokes. NPH’s award is up. I want NPH to win, but I’d be quite happy with either of the 30 Rock or Rainn Wilson. Jon Cryer wins. I hate America for liking Two and a Half Men so much. Rethink your lives. I mean I love Ducky, don’t get me wrong. But I’m displeased.

Just flipped to NFL Sunday Night Football in the commercial and saw my first ad for the Vancouver Winter Olympics. My heart is warmed.

Justin Timberlake makes an appearance. My uterus skipped a beat. He’s basically describing me as the girl who all guys dream about. Why thank you, Justin. I feel the same about you. Also, congrats on letting the curls grow back. HUGSIES. Best comedic actress. Clearly Tina Fey will win. UPSET - Toni Collette takes it home for United States of Tara. It’s supposed to be great, but I don’t get premiere cable. So whatever.

Steve Carell looks foxy tonight. Just saying.

ROB LOWE. Yummy. He gets more dreamy with time. Best actor in a comedy. I’m hoping Steve Carell takes it home. But I do love Alec Baldwin. And Jermaine Clement. No surprise Baldwin wins. Jack Donaghey is my ideal boss.

Shifting to reality genre. If they don’t show a clip from Real Housewives of NJ, I’ll be WAY upset. CAROLINE! Theresa! I LOVE THAT SHOW. Maksim and Karina from DWTS perform. I freaking love Maksim. In agreement with KSquizz = AWKWARD. They used to be engaged. And as of mere days ago, they are no longer. Nothing to write home about, honestly. Jeff Probst wins for best host. Apparently they still air Survivor. Way to congratulate NPH, because you did a HORRIBLE job last year.

Tracey Morgan arrives. He is apparently sober now. I’m not thrilled. Amazing Race wins best competition series. Whatever. It’s no Project Runway, American Idol, or DWTS.

Miniseries. I have seen 0. Whatevz. Signing off sesh till something interesting happening.

KSquizz question of the commercial break: “True or False: You would act as a surrogate for NPH and his partner?” Gingerette and I are a RESOUNDING yes. Sister is a “no.” Not the first time I have judged her during this telecast, and it won’t be the last.

I really love that in his intros, this guy is only picking rogue roles that no one remembers instead of what they are known for. BIG FAN. Patricia Arquette looks like complete garbage. That dress is an embarrassment.

Jessica Lange has aged well. This needs to speed up. I’m getting grumpy.

OK moving into Variety. So shit I actually watch and isn’t lame. Sorry miniseries and TV movies, but you suck at life.

BRIAN WILLIAMS SIGHTING. I LOVE HIM SOO MUCH.

Really happy MotherLover got nommed. Here’s Ricky Gervais, just generally being awesome. As per usual. Jon Stewart gives NPH mad props. I love them both so much, but the edge in awesome goes to NPH, obvs. KSquizz: “Wow. Ricky Gervais wins at presenting.” Indeed, KSquizz, indeed.

Finally up to the drama category. Meaning we’re through the dragging middle part, and I’m that much closer to being able to go to bed.

DEAD PEOPLE MONTAGE! Sung along with by Sarah Mclachlan’s “I will remember you.” I get it, but will this song never die? It’s not a high school graduation. It’s a dead people montage. The song almost ruined it for me. Didn’t tear up till Paul Newman, Michael Jackson, and Swayze. Sigh. Rough year for celebrity deaths. KSquizz comments: “I wish Jimmy Fallon was in the death montage.” My response: “I wish that song was in the montage and never heard again.” KSquizz: “I think I am going to use ‘I wish they were in the death montage at the next award show’ as another way to express my hatred of things.” Good idea.

Glenn Close wins. Makes me want to watch Damages. Kind of. But after Glee, Community, Gossip Girl and Melrose Place… I’m pretty sure I don’t have room to take on any new TV shows this season.

Final awards of the night. I’m predicting 30 Rock and Mad Men. Bob Newhart is one adorable old man. I like all of the comedic nominees, but have never seen Weeds. 30 Rock wins, no surprise, and well deserved. True Blood wins the breakthrough award. DIE IN A FIRE VAMPIRES. Ugh so overexposed. Mad Men wins. Good show. KSquizz wins the Kanye joke bet with the final count at 3. Congrats. I’m signing off. NIGH NIGH.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Dancing With The Stars... no live blogs, but some comments

So... we are into the final 7 of Dancing with the Stars. Lance is still in, thanks, I'm sure, in no small part to the fact that I vote for him multiple times per week... GO LANCE! Here are my thoughts on the season so far:
  • Cloris Leachman is ridiculous. Watching her was like watching a car accident, and not even one of the good ones. I get really sad when amazingly talented people are clearly losing it (being on DWTS would be a hint, I guess)... on a great note, watching her was like watching her character in Now & Then every week (the gambling grandma with a wig, remember?) Awesome.
  • Lance really has been making me feel bad about the fact that I always called him the worst dancer in NSYNC. Really. He has a legitimate complex about this, and I contributed to it. I must say, however, that I am a huge fan of he and Lacey. At first, I thought she was going to be too different and rebellious for the show, but she's good for Lance. GO LANCE GO! Him going home will be very depressing, perhaps almost to the level of when Steve Guttenberg went home.
  • Warren Sapp is awesome. It's great to see a big man make moves like that, and he's legitimately entertaining.
  • In the first episode, Kim Kardashian said she doesn't understand why she has terrible balance. If you don't immediately pick out the irony of that (huge ass), then you need to read celebrity blogs.
  • Not only did my Halloween costume foster my Hannah Montana addiction, but now I have to deal with Cody being with my favorite female dancer and being awesome? Ugh.
  • I have a girl crush on Brooke Burke.
  • Susan Lucci is awkward. She kind of gets the steps, but wow it looks odd.
  • Don't care that Toni Braxton went home, she's irritating
  • Huge fan of Michael Flatley as the backup judge... he's less douchey than Lou, and I can fast forward when he does dances that give me migraines.
  • I think Bruno would make a good pet. He's ridiculous, but I bet I could legally muzzle him when I wanted him to shut up.
  • It's too bad Misty May Treanor got hurt, she had some potential... but that was a great injury video with that crack. It makes the athletic trainer in me smiley.
  • I say more group dances. Watching Lance dance around in mullet wig while Susan Lucci legitimately tries to do a hip hop dance = what reality TV should be about. Plus Warren was being awesome more. I could handle a ballet group dance.... or a Broadway. It only ends well.

Smurftastics ideal final 3: Lance, Brooke, Warren

Smurftastic's predicted final 3: Brooke, Warren, Cody

Smurftastic's predicted winner: Warren

Audience members I hope to see: JC Chasez, Justin Timberlake, Miley Cyrus, Billy Ray Cyrus, Steve Guttenberg




Sunday, September 21, 2008

60th annual Emmy Awards - live commentary

60th annual Emmy Awards:

At thins point, we all know that I’m obsessed with awards shows. Even better than regular awards shows are awards shows that honor some kind of big anniversary. Like 60 years of the Emmys. Why are they awesomer? MORE MONTAGES. Montages of the past… featuring big stars and great shows. Some of which we may have forgotten about. So in anticipation of many montages to come ahead, let’s get this Emmy commentary started. Will also be featuring rando comments from my sister.

The hosts make their first appearance after an intro by Oprah (who, my sister and I agree, looks huge)– all 5 reality show host nominees. All wearing suits. Even Heidi Klum. Jeff Probst isn’t wearing a tie. C’mon man. Even Heidi’s in a tie. Lame. Howie Mandel’s “soul patch” is RIDICULOUS. He’s really fallen off since Bobby’s World. And by fallen off, I mean that was the only decent thing he’s ever done. Oh god, in talking about Klum wearing something not slutty, William Shatner of course comes on stage to strip her. Ugh. I’m pretty anti Shatner, namely because he’s so overexposed.

First award presented by Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. She is super cute pregnant. Award is best supporting actor in a comedy. I would like to see this one go to Rainn Wilson or Neil Patrick Harris. They are just SO AMAZING. Stinson over Dwight though. Well, goes to Jeremy Piven. Again. He’s awesome on Entourage, and a personal inspiration to me… but he just doesn’t make me laugh out loud like NPH and Dwight do. Barney Stinson is my personal hero. Ari is just my professional hero.

Getting pretty excited about Josh Groban performing 30 of television’s theme songs. I can’t even begin to guess what all they’ll have.

Now best supporting actress in a comedy series: I’d like to see this one go to Amy Poehler or Jean Smart… mainly cause those are the only two whose shows I’ve seen. Jean Smart gets it… she is hilarious on Samantha Who. I love her. I wish I watched that show more, cause every time I’ve seen it I’ve really enjoyed it.

Ads for David Blaine’s new stunt… it’ll either be his best stunt, or his last. Let’s hope it’s his last. Not that I want him to die, I just want him to stop living.

Women’s montage! YES! Nope, that was a trick… just Desperate Housewives. Best supporting actor in a Drama. I’d like to see this go to Ted Danson or John Slattery, just because he’s awesome. I don’t watch any of the shows with actors nominated, but Damages and Mad Men are the only two I’d actually like to see.

Ricky Gervais… hilarious. Again proving my point that British people are better than regular people. And mocking his American counterpart, Carrell… well done to keep a straight face. I’m impressed, Michael Scott.

Conan slams Katherine Heigl. Love it. I’m hoping the best supporting actress in a drama award goes to Chandra Wilson from Greys. She’s way better than Sandra Oh and on the only show I watch. Dianne Wiest gets it. I love her, because she was in Footloose. Well done.

COLBERT REPORT gets its first writing award. Couldn’t be more thrilled. I heart Colbert.

Steve Martin has aged well. As has Tommy Smothers.

Is it really necessary for Josh Groban to change his voice for each theme song? Weird. MR. ROGER’S NEIGHTBORHOOD! Yess… He did a great job with South Park though. He actually sounded like Cartman. BAYWATCH! YES! AND FRESH PRINCE! This may be the greatest thing I’ve ever experienced! Wow… Ed MacMahon doesn’t look good. Losing your house must be rough. Can’t believe he didn’t sing Cheers. That is too bad. And I officially just downloaded the theme song to Baywatch. I judge myself.

Baldwin is wearing Tina Fey Glasses kind of. He looks a bit like Harry Carey too… weird. Outstanding Actress in miniseries – should go to Laura Linney… mainly cause she’s awesome. Good call, me, good call.

Outstanding musical, comedy or variety series – I hope this goes to Colbert or Daily Show. This Laugh-in lead in is a little long… Daily Show gets it… well deserved, but I still favor Colbert.
I’m pretty offended that Lauren Conrad is allowed on stage at the Emmys… but Guest actor/actress for comedy series… I think I want it to go to Will Arnett and Carrie Fisher or Elaine Stritch. But I was wrong.

Martin Sheen! I love that man, and not just because he brought Emilio Estevez into the world. He wants us to vote. I was planning on it, but thanks for the reminder.

Grey’s anatomy cast – Sandra Oh looks so much better in person than on the show. I would pay money to run my hands through Patrick Dempsey’s hair.

John Adams wins for best miniseries. I kind of wish I watched this, it was supposed to be awesome… I just don’t know if I have the energy/time for a historical miniseries.

NPH appearance! And he mocks Howie! I knew I loved him. Another nomination for Colbert – individual performance… I think he deserves this. Though Stewart was awesome on the Oscars. And Don Rickles wins. The old people always beat out my Stephen.

Kate Walsh makes an appearance. I have a total girl-crush on her. And love her new haircut.

Paul Giamatti totally snubs his real wife. Though I’d thank Laura Linney above her too. Wifey looked pissed, though.

Alec Baldwin wins for best comedic actor. Though I’d have preferred Steve Carrell… I love Jack Donaghy in 30 Rock. He’s awesome.
Dead people montage: If they leave out Roy Scheider again, I’m gonna be pissed. DUDE HE WAS REJECTED AGAIN. THAT’S IT MAN. IF OSCARS FORGET HIM, I’M WRITING A LETTER. SEAQUEST WAS ON TV. IT WAS A GREAT SHOW. FOR 3 WHOLE SEASONS! LAME!

Glad that a smaller show won for best lead actor in a drama… mainly because it’s not James Spader. Enough with Boston Legal already. Tina Fey wins for 30 Rock. God that’s a great show. I think I’m developing a girl crush on Tina Fey.

Best Reality Show host – Jeff Probst. Makes sense, he’s the original. Betty White is eerily similar to my grandma.

Tom Selleck appearance: My sister “Tom is still hot”. Me “I would totally do him.” Mad Men wins. I officially resolve to start watching that show. All in all, a decent Emmy awards. Great leadup to the biggest TV premiere week of the season. Can’t wait. Sorry this wasn’t that exciting of a blog, but I’m pretty tired/distracted by baking cookies for DJ Victorious’ birthday. Have a good one!

DANCING WITH THE STARS STARTS TOMORROW! GO LANCE!

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Boy Band Sesh!


Every now and then, I find myself having an instant messenger conversation, that while entertaining, makes me want to judge myself. This most often happens during finals week, and sometimes, they are good enough to share. This is one of those times.

This topic of conversation starts off based on a discussion of New Kids on the Block’s upcoming reunion tour. My away message at this time referenced the concert coming to Jersey in September. What follows is a walk down memory lane. Enjoy.

Rum&Efron: you’re lucky...we have to wait until Oct 4th for Joey
Smurftastic: joey = lame
Smurftastic: jordan is where it's at

Rum&Efron: he was my second fav
Rum&Efron: obviously I had them ranked 1-5
Smurftastic: obvi
Smurftastic: if danny wasn't last, we are no longer friends

Rum&Efron: Joey, Jordan, Jonathan, Donny, Danny
Rum&Efron: in case you wanted to know
Smurftastic: I started out liking donny best
Smurftastic: when jordan had a rat tail
Rum&Efron: he did have an incredible rat tail
Smurftastic: then jordan cut his rat tail, and donny grew one
Smurftastic: so jordan made it to #1
Smurftastic: so my final cut was Jordan, Donny, Jon, Joey, Danny
Smurftastic: Donny and Jon were kind of tied for 2nd

Rum&Efron: WOW
Rum&Efron: I cant believe Joey wasn’t a top 2
Rum&Efron: suprising
Smurftastic: i know... i'm unique
Smurftastic: he was a little girly for me
Smurftastic: and his little boy voice just couldn't compare to jordan's falsetto
Smurftastic: plus i used my NKOTB dolls to play full house
Smurftastic: and joey was always joey Gladstone
Smurftastic: who was the most lame

Rum&Efron: amazing
Smurftastic: danny was not featured in the games with my barbies, cause he's the worst
Rum&Efron: I only had the joey doll
Rum&Efron: so I had to go to my friends house who had donny and jordan
Rum&Efron: danny was the worst
Rum&Efron: I wonder if he still has a complex
Rum&Efron: and if bad memories will resurface during the tour
Smurftastic: i hope
Smurftastic: extra points if donny burns down a hotel room
Smurftastic: danny = kevin from BSB
Smurftastic: he's a realtor now i think- : TRUE HOLLYWOOD STORY!

Rum&Efron: he is a realtor...according to my People magazine\
Rum&Efron: he also has 2 or 3 kids
Smurftastic: YES
Smurftastic: BABY NKOTB

Rum&Efron: 1 of which he must have had literally right after they fell off the face of the earth, bc he's a teenager
Smurftastic: HOLY GOD danny has a teenager?
Smurftastic: REPLACEMENT!
Rum&Efron: for real
Smurftastic: for when his hip gives out and shit
Smurftastic: Jonathan almost dropped to #4 in my rankings after i saw true hollywood story and found out he dated that firecrotch Tiffani

Rum&Efron: he has anxiety disorder
Rum&Efron: which I find attractive for some reason
Smurftastic: if you haven't seen that THS, you really should watch it
Smurftastic: it's AWESOME
Smurftastic: it will make you love jon

Rum&Efron: Danny’s kids are : Anthony 16, Daniel Jr 15, and Vega 9
Smurftastic: VEGA?
Rum&Efron: what the fuck does vega mean?
Smurftastic: girl or boy
Rum&Efron: hmm
Rum&Efron: doesnt say
Smurftastic: ?
Smurftastic: WOW... vega

Rum&Efron: oh wait Chance is 9 too
Smurftastic: really
Rum&Efron: so 4 kids
Smurftastic: JESUS
Rum&Efron: with a set of twins
Smurftastic: i hope he married a groupie
Smurftastic: so chance's sibling is VEGA... ok

Rum&Efron: yes
Rum&Efron: I am thinking Vega is a girl
Rum&Efron: safe bet
Smurftastic: and probably will eventually be some sort of stripper
Rum&Efron: Jordan has 2 sons
Smurftastic: WHAT
Smurftastic: is jordan married?

Rum&Efron: yes
Rum&Efron: he has been married for 3 years
Rum&Efron: but his son is 9
Rum&Efron: so you do the math
Smurftastic: ILLEGIT
Smurftastic: MY WORLD IS COLLAPSING AROUND ME

Rum&Efron: Jon is single~~
Rum&Efron: Donny has Xavier 15, Elijah 7
Rum&Efron: Joey has a baby Griffin
Smurftastic: oh. my. god.
Rum&Efron: they were popping out kids
Smurftastic: i feel incredibly old right now
Rum&Efron: I am closer in age to their children then to them
Rum&Efron: sick
Smurftastic: wooooooow
Rum&Efron: I was still playing with barbies and they were procreating
Rum&Efron: oh man
Smurftastic: I WAS PLAYING FULL HOUSE WITH MY BARBIES AND THEIR DOLLS WHILE THEY WERE CHANGING DIAPERS
Rum&Efron: was that not featured in my Bop magazine???
Rum&Efron: how come I didn’t know they had kids?
Rum&Efron: I should have known in 93
Smurftastic: cause in 93, that was like Dirty Dawg years. I blocked it out of my mind
Rum&Efron: yeah I gave up on them then
Smurftastic: I mean I knew that Joey from NSYNC had a kid when the band was together, but i try not to think about it
Rum&Efron: yeah I was 16 then so I was cool with it
Rum&Efron: especially since he was my fourth fav
Rum&Efron: Justin, JC, Lance, Joey, and Chris
Rum&Efron: once again for your point of reference
Smurftastic: JC, Lance, Justin, Chris, Joey
Rum&Efron: wow you liked chris better than Joey??
Rum&Efron: even when he had crazy braids and wore those goggles?
Smurftastic: I enjoyed chris' dreadlocks
Smurftastic: also he waved at me at a concert once
Smurftastic: and i stood on a chair and touched the braids, they were sparkly at that time

Rum&Efron: I guess that does leave an impression on one's heart
Smurftastic: i had a chris poster in HS
Smurftastic: that someone bought me, and i felt bad not putting up
Smurftastic: but judged myself for owning

Rum&Efron: my whole freshmen dormroom was filled with Justin posters, bobble heads, and marionette puppets
Rum&Efron: my roommates were freaked
Smurftastic: also Chris was pretty hilarious...
Smurftastic: at times i debated ranking him above justin

Rum&Efron: WHAT
Rum&Efron: above Justin????????
Smurftastic: justin was so low because EVERYONE liked him and i didn't want to be like everyone else
Smurftastic: i made the JC over justin decision based solely on that
Smurftastic: less competition for JC

Rum&Efron: thats blasphemy
Smurftastic: i know
Smurftastic: i'm glad i never did it
Smurftastic: even for a day if that ranking changed in my mind... I don’t think I could live with myself

Rum&Efron: yeah I went back and forth between JC and Justin in the early years
Rum&Efron: but then stuck with JT all the way
Smurftastic: PS - did you ever watch Mission: ManBand on VH1?
Smurftastic: cause chris GETS AFTER IT
Smurftastic: i mean he's somewhat douche... but he gets after it
Smurftastic: but when i discovered JC was a host of America's Best Dance Crew I watched an MTV marathon for like 6 hours

Rum&Efron: ]well worth it
Smurftastic: i really wanted to go see Joey (NKOTB) when he was on broadway
Smurftastic: but never got around to it
Smurftastic: i'm hoping to not let that happen for clay aiken
Rum&Efron: are you a claymate?
Smurftastic: no
Smurftastic: but i lived w/ one for a semester
Smurftastic: we even drove to the indiana state fair for one of his concerts, which would probably have been lame... but there was a KEYTAR... Keytars are awesome

Rum&Efron: I think thats why I love Dancing with the Stars bc I am always secretly hoping for an old ass boy band member
Rum&Efron: Drew Lachey was my fav in 98 degrees
Smurftastic: oh drew was the best
Rum&Efron: and obviously Joey (NKOTB)
Smurftastic: DWTS got me hooked when they got NSYNC Joey
Smurftastic: namely to watch tfor the audience appearances
Smurftastic: fucking Justin never went
Smurftastic: ass

Rum&Efron: ass
Rum&Efron: I would like to see Nick Carter on
Smurftastic: that would totally work, but BSB sucks at dancing
Rum&Efron: and Nick Carter is so large and awkward now
Rum&Efron: it would be hilarious
Smurftastic: THOUGH, beyond audience appearances from the other band members
Smurftastic: we might get aaron carter
Smurftastic: which is reason enough for me

Rum&Efron: I LOVE HIM
Rum&Efron: I owe 1 cd of his
Rum&Efron: which I feel is alot for a 25 year old
Smurftastic: saw him in concert
Rum&Efron: You did????
Smurftastic: oh yeah
Rum&Efron: so jealous
Smurftastic: illinois state fair
Smurftastic: less than 10 rows back
Smurftastic: i had crazy high school friends who waited for three hours to get in the front
Smurftastic: and he kissed one of them on the cheek during the show
Smurftastic: mind you, we were 16 or 17 at this time
Smurftastic: and he was like 13

Rum&Efron: that is amazing
Rum&Efron: 1 benefit to living in Springfield
Smurftastic: same group of friends scored tickets to see him in peoria. on valentine's day. front row.
Smurftastic: one girl's long term boyfriends birthday was valentines day

Rum&Efron: WHAT??
Smurftastic: and she ditched him. for aaron carter.
Rum&Efron: fuck him
Rum&Efron: its Aaron Carter for crying out loud

And the best possible summary of this conversation =
Smurftastic: i feel like looking back on this conversation, i should hate myself. but i can't

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Tom Bergeron is Dead to Me

DTM, Dancing with the Stars. DTM. (FYI, DTM means Dead to Me)


Also DTM... America. How do you vote off the Gutt? He was so smiley! LAME!


And check out the turtleneck ability of this guy! AWESOME.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Viva la Guttenberg!

Dancing with the Stars, Season 6 has started. Sorry that I didn't get anything out last week. I haven't watched all the episodes. Suffice it to say I'm only watching this season due to my love of Steve Guttenberg. Here's a review of the first 3 full episodes.

If Penn isn’t out within 3 weeks, I will be very surprised.

With Brett Favre retiring, I needed to find a new football crush. Jason Taylor is officially in the running. YUM. Also very likely that he and Edyta (his partner) will bone before this is over.

Adam Corolla = not as bad as I thought he’d be.

Now for the second episode… didn’t get all the way through the first, but too bad. No one got kicked off anyway.

Guttenberg in a white suit and lime green shirt. I already know it’s gonna be awesome. Obviously he is the guy I am rooting for. Female I want to win = chick from Hairspray or Kristi Yamaguchi. Mostly Kristi. I used to love figure skating as a kid.
Steve is first. He’s gonna get sexy with it. He called hit a macho mambo combo. Normally I judge people who use phrases like that. Normally I’m not watching Guttenberg. He also has a decent shimmy. And he’s so smiley it just makes me happy. Oh Steve. If Tom Selleck and Ted Danson do not appear in the audience later in the season, I will be pretty disappointed. They get semi crappy reviews, and his partner FREAKS. She seems like kind of a bitch. But a good balance with Steve’s awesomeness. Also the female host just called him “The Gut.” AMAZING.

Mario is probably the male front runner. Dude can move.

Ugh. Monica Celes picked for the early exit. So awkward.

Shannon Elizabeth is gonna go far. She can really dance, and most of America has seen her boobs. Recipe for success.

Hairspray chick = adorable. She has heavy chick anxiety, but her partner seems really nice.

Deaf people = better dancers than people with one leg. There. I said it. Suck it Heather Mills.

I missed Mario…again. But he’s supposed to be awesome. Whatever. The tweens will vote for him this week anyway.

Anyone who loves me should vote for Guttenberg as many times as possible. This weeks Guttenberg related quote: “There's a quarter of a million dollars in heroin in the diaper pail and the new baby wipes are in the hall cabinet.”

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

BACHELOR BLOG IS BACK BABY!


Bachelor Blog is back – and it’s going international! We didn't do the live blog this time, cause the show premiered on St. Patrick's Day, and... well... enough said. Anyway, due to the magic of abc.com... I got to watch it online instead of trying to find a job or doing any sort of homework.

FYI - British bachelor accent inevitably means I will be inappropriately in love with him right from the start.

So his name is Matt, he's a banker, and he lives in my favorite city in the world.


Gratuitous Abbey Road street crossing shot. Normally I would be offended, but this guy is hot, and is already showing a pretty decent sense of humor. And he’s young. As bachelorettes go, aren’t they usually way younger than he is? We’re gonna see a 16 year old I bet. Do they have statutory rape in England? And the show title as a The Clash throwback? Wow. This theme may turn out to be more exploited than the “An Officer and a Gentleman” theme song. Harrison looks like a leprechaun next to this super tall bachelor. I’m starting to regret the fact that I was mainly joking when I said I would go on the Bachelor. Instead of douchey Americans, I could get a British banker. OH AND HE SAYS HE LIKES MUSICALS!?!?! And does a semi-gay sounding American accent. Big fan.

Preseason favorites – Amanda R. in the navy dress. She lived in England and is an account executive; Robin who likes soccer and lived in London; Noelle in a gold dress. AMANDA GETS THE FIRST IMPRESSION ROSE – I’M SO GOOD AT THIS!

Preseason whores – everyone in a dress with cut outs, especially Stacey (and she’s from Chicago… giving IL girls a bad name – and lower back tattoo visible through the dress cut out? That’s a double whore move – AND SHE THREW UP THE SHOCKER! - see below)

Preseason moron - Shayne the actress from LA – but he seems to like her. Gross – at least she’s not anorexic skinny. HER DAD IS LORENZO LAMAS? Wow. Unexpectedly random.

Preseason stalker – chick in the left hand ring who said it was a placeholder for his engagement ring; singer songwriter who wrote him a song (also she might be too smiley).

33 year old hot dog vendor? SERIOUSLY? Homemade genie outfit? SERIOUSLY? Playing the clarinet? “It has to be wet in order for it to vibrate” That’s what she said. Also that girl’s a nerd alert.

Girl who worked for Bush seems pretty crazy. But not as crazy as the girl who bit through a beer can. I pick beer can girl. (Carri… but she just said “all that and a bag of chips” - ugh).

OK and the whore from Chicago has warranted her own paragraph. Inner thigh rub while he’s talking to her. And she has lots of open mouth smiling. He is absolutely disgusted by her. And she just called him boring. SHE THINKS LONDON IS BY THE OCEAN… hahahahaha. This chick is awesome. What she knows about London is efficient cars. He won’t keep her around cause he clearly hates her… but I hope he keeps her cause she’s a f*cking train wreck. I am somehow reminded of Britney Spears. SHE PUTS HER PANTIES IN HIS PANTS! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This chick is unbelievable. One day her kids will see this. I hope they will be proud. Erin H. just called her fat. AND now whore has just passed out. God she wins. Gasp, she doesn’t get a rose. I can’t believe it.

I judge the girls who cry on the first date. Also these toasts would be so much better if he was drinking beer like a real Brit.

Seems like this season will be awesome, and looking forward to mocking it for all of you. Also, I'm saving a special time for blogging about the new Dancing With the Stars. I am only watching till they kick off Guttenberg. After that they are dead to me. Steve Guttenberg=amazing. I'm so excited.

Monday, April 23, 2007

Monday nights on ABC

So last week on the bachelor, one of Smurftastic's preseason MVP's was sent home when they were both sent on the same date where one had to go home. Sorority chick Peyton gets the boot, but only after proving how annoying her accent is. GO TESSA! After boot camp, old lady Bevin injures herself and gets a rose for being a whiner. Garbage. This week, Dr. DBag and the ladies go to Tahoe for the "cattiest Bachelor in the show's history." Check out DJ Victorious and Smurftastics IM record from the show.

Dancing with the Stars brief thoughts:
Celebrities spotted in the audience this week: Andrea from 90210, JC Chasez, and George Wendt
Worst performances: Heather Mills, Billy Ray Cyrus, Cliff from Cheers
Stolen our Hearts (well he already had Smurftastics, but whatever): Joey Fatone
Crossing our fingers that they'll cameo at the finals: Justin Timberlake, Ted Danson
Other thoughts: Questioning the nationality of Judge Bruno. No question about his sexuality tho. Ian Ziering has a tight ass (according to DJ Victorious, who also wants to borrow the dancing tiger costume for DJing) and Billy Ray may have highlighted his hair since the last episode. Keep your eyes peeled for some excellent dancing with the stars.