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Showing posts with label hot guys. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hot guys. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Top 10 Long Term Celebrity Crushes

OK. So I'm keeping the intro short, cause this is gonna be LONG entry. Since I stole from KSquizz's twitter idea about long term celebrity crushes, I couldn't keep the list to just five, and within the twitter length limits. So here is the one rule - we must have been "mildly stalking these men for at least the last 5 years." That's it. My picks are first then KSquizz's follow. Comments are in small font below.

Smurftastic #10 = Jason Bateman. Ever since the Hogan Family I knew there was something about him. Then there was Arrested Development. And now I will see movies I otherwise would have no desire to see just because he's in them.

KSquizz - So I remembered Jason Bateman as one of the doofy twins on the Hogan family and vaguely remembered there was a hot older brother. But according to my extensive research (2 minutes of googling) he was the hot older brother? So yeah you were right to love him from then on. I am new to Arrested Development, but his relationship with Michael Cera makes me want to have his babies. (Also, Michael Cera makes it onto my reasons I am a borderline pedophile list also featuring the werewolf from Twilight and the littlest Jonas Brother.) Also, his character in Dodgeball was so awesome he should have won an oscar, just saying. Good pick.

K Squizz # 10 - Bradley Cooper. He is the most recent addition to this list since I discovered him in "I Want to Marry Ryan Banks" where he played the sidekick to Jason Priestley who eventually gets the girl. Oh ABC family, you are just wonderful. Since then, he has popped up as secondary characters or villains in a lot of stuff, including super douche Sack Lodge in Wedding Crashers. Since he often plays fratty types, I am pretty sure he is one in real life. But I am okay with that. As mentioned in the Twitter list, he loses some of his appeal because he is the new hot thing thanks to The Hangover, but I really wanted "Kitchen Confidential" to be a success for him so I guess I should be happy for him. His sudden appearance on the A List has all but killed any chance of he and I finding love. :( But Bradley, squished face Zewellger? (Yeah, I refuse to spell check that. Scew you, Squishy.) Not okay, Brad. Not okay.

Smurftastic - SOLID pick. He is actually my latest, and most intense, celebrity obsession. Mainly the addition of the floppy hair from The Hangover makes me super weak in the knees. 1) WHAT IS WRONG WITH FRATTY DUDES? And 2) how do you ditch Jen Aniston for Zelwegger, who is well past her adorable, not-creepily-skinny Jerry Maguire days? Could be sick in the head. Ugh.

KSquizz - In response to your BCoop response (yep, we are on a nickname basis in our imaginary relationship), I do have a special place in my heart for Fratty boys, but I require them to have a heart of gold. He might to Sack Lodgey in real life.

Smurftastic #9 = Lucas Johnson. Yes, I'll be ridiculously surprised (and impressed) if you've ever heard of him, but he used to play basketball for the Fighting Illini. He graduated my senior year of high school. Not a huge point scorer, but definitely the life and badass-ness of the team. My sister and I shared an obsession through his college career, culminating in me regularly buying him drinks at Kam's (home of the Drinking Illini) every time he comes back to campus to visit/score free drinks off of groupies like me (and my father... who buys him and his buddies beer by the pitcher). My senior year I made him hang out with the freshman girls from my sorority, and had the awkward "who is this guy?" chat with them, with him sitting right next to me. This obsession/mild stalking/crush has continued even past my college days, namely, when I venture back for Homecoming. I always said I wasn't truly a jersey-chaser in college, cause I really preferred the dudes who had already graduated. I have enclosed a picture for your reference, but really, the attitude is what I love. PS - his brother also played for U of I before I became a true fan = even hotter.
Smurftastic, keeping former college ball players relevant since 2001. http://www.fightingillini.com/sports/m-baskbl/mtt/johnson_lucas00.html

KSquizz - Rogue to pick a pseudo celeb who you have actually met, but I feel like that has probably made the obsession that much stronger. I can't wait until you guys get married and then have to get couples counseling because he sees this online. I know zip about him, but he seems like a giant, and you are so small so that makes me happy. Hopefully, he hasn't gotten the former athlete fats.

KSquizz #9 = Ryan Reynolds. I really did love him as snarky med student Berg [Ed note - 2 Guys and a Girl). Let's not lie. He is outrageously hot, and he has such range as an actor: wise ass college student, wise ass waiter, wise ass vampire slayer, and wise ass super hero. I would guess that Ryan Reynolds is a bit of a wise ass. But as long as he is shirtless in every role ever, he could be a wise ass plumber, and I would watch. I saw Blade Trinity in the theater for him, despite my undying hatred for Jessica Biel. There was a time where I believed I could actually date him because of the Alanis thing. Perhaps, he was a little bit blind? But now he is married to ScarJo. So much for that.

Smurftastic - Fact that he's Canadian = bonus points... He loses points because of the ScarJo thing (stripper lips and her in general turn me off), but I'd still hit it.

Smurftastic #8 = Donny Osmond. One of the first times I realized boys could be cute instead of just yucky was when I was approximately 8 years old and went to see him in Chicago in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. It wasn't him in the loincloth that did it, it was the picture in the playbook. I said something to the likes of "oh without the ridiculous hair he's way cute" to my mother or my sister or whoever was sitting by me. From there I was hooked on his Mormon goodness, and had officially entered the realm of having crushes on celebrities. I became obsessed with the Joseph soundtrack, and spent more than one summer watching the Donny & Marie talk show every single day. Then I was made aware of "I'll Make a Man Out of You" from Mulan, which became one of my favorite Disney songs of all time. I loved it to the point where my high school friend and I chanted "Mulan... Mulan" over and over again when we went to his concert (yes, concert) with my mother. Eff Puppy Love, I wanted him to be mysterious as the dark side of the moon. He didn't sing it [Ed note - sadface]. He and Marie were in Vegas over 09 spring break performing at the same hotel where we were staying and despite my constant begging, my friends wouldn't go (some friends, the sluts). That didn't stop my from posing for pictures in front of cardboard cutout promo pics of him. Now he's going to be on Dancing with the Stars, and judging by the cheesiness of his solo press picture and the energy of his first two dances, it's going to be awesome (or ridiculous, or both). The man isn't hot, per se, but he is way cute in a puppy dog (Puppy Love?) kind of way, and I love it. Plus he seems like a good person, which is nice balance to some of the sex fiends on this list.

KSquizz - I won't lie. I do not get the Donny Osmond thing. He looks like a human bobble-head doll to me. But I don't dislike him, I simply find him asexual.

KSquizz #8 = Keanu Reeves - So I obviously became aware of Keanu's existence when he created all that Oscar buzz as Ted "Theodore" Logan. He didn't do it for me then, though. He was a slacker, stoner kid, and that isn't so much my thing. Also, I was like 5, and most boys had cooties still. However, I am, however, attracted to multi-racial, cocky, bomber-stopping LA cops with surfer accents and a heart of gold so Keanu and I fell in love when he made Speed. Seriously, he is outrageously hot in that movie. I literally watched Speed two nights ago and was still completely into him. Since then, I have seen a significant portion of his work, and it has all delivered: Point Break, Dracula, The Devil's Advocate, Matrix, Constanine,Replacements, etc. (It probably helps that I enjoy fanboy type movies and never saw his misguided attempt at Shakespeare.) For me, he has stood the test of time. I don't know how but he has maybe aged 5 years in the 20 I have been aware of him. I get that his acting is not the greatest, and he is a joke to a solid percentage of the population, but I love him. I have read his wiki page more than once for fun. A sign of true love. To conclude this paragraph of devotion to "cool breeze over the mountains" (oh that is what Keanu means), I am linking you to this slideshow which features Keanu's acting range. Yeah it is making fun of him, but he still looks hot so it is win win. .http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2008/12/a_field_guide_to_the_complete.html

Smurftastic - Keanu - Point Break is one of the greatest movies ever made (read, Swayze obit), but I never truly found he was that hot till he was romancing Diane Keaton in Somethings Gotta Give. Sigh... when I'm old I want a hot doctor to fall for me. With floppy hair no less. Also...




Smurftastic #7 = Matthew Perry. Started the crush when he was Carol's BF Sandy on Growing Pains (even though he died in a drunk driving accident on what was, I’m sure “a very special episode” that parents should watch with their kids)... fully developed into Chandler obsession. Chandler Bing, though fictional, may be my ideal man. Cute, but not in an intimidating way, and sarcastic… but in a funny, not a mean way. OK it’s kind of mean, but it’s definitely funny. It is my personal goal for my sense of humor to be as much like Chandler’s as possible. Usually that just presents itself as me quoting him. A lot. Also, the way he proposed to Monica still makes me tear up and I've seen it WELL over 50 times. It's one of the two "perfect proposals for Smurftastic" on this list. [Ed note, see also #5, and if you put them together, she'll be yours forever.] My love for Chandler and all things Matthew Perry led me to watch Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip for it’s entirely too short run. That became, quite possibly, my favorite television show of all time, and Matt Albie’s head writer/exec producer was the perfect mix of wit and complications for a Sorkin drama. Perry seems an unlikely romantic leading man, but his role in Studio 60 solidified him for me. I now spend weekends creeping on him on IMDB and renting his latest indie flicks. I count the days till he makes his return to TV, if that ever happens. Not to mention the man is Canadian, and not only a tennis fan, but my understanding is that he’s also an excellent player. Sigh. Couldn’t be more perfect for Smurftastic….

KSquizz - I think you are right that Chandler Bing is the ideal man. He also strikes me as totally attainable which is something else. I also am a big fan of Fools Rush In, his chick flick with Salam Hayek. I will watch it every time it comes on TBS.

KSquizz #7 = Nathan Fillion - Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place was not all bad. (I am pretty sure the pizza place eventually got cut from the title- unimportant.) Not only did it lead to my discovery of Ryan Reynolds, another hot Canadian burst onto my scene, the lovely and talented, Nathan Fillion. Since then, he was on Buffy which means hecan do no wrong for me. If you can find any Sci-Fi enjoyable, you must watch Firefly/Serenity. His character may in fact be the perfect man, and completely cements Fillion as a crush-worthy actor. I am sure people who aren’t familiar with him will probably still recognize him as he pops up all over, most notably as the doctor who Felicity loves in Waitress and as Kate’s almost husband on Lost. He is currently the star of Castle, where he is snarky and awesome. Also, he sings and is hilarious as Captain Hammer in “Dr. Horrible’s Sing A Long Blog.” Never saw it? Go hulu it or download it on itunes, immediately. I will wait. (Three Joss Whedon shows and Lost? Yes, I am a nerd.) So his career appeals to me, obviously, but there is more. Nathan is like PRINCE CHARMING HANDSOME. Look at him. That jaw! Those eyes! Yum. He also manages to be adorable and lovable in everything he does. His characters, even when they are douche bags or bad guys, are likable or at least enjoyable to watch. My stalking has reached a new level now that I follow him on Twitter. (He is the only man on this list who holds that honor.) The “following”, which even sounds like stalking, has led to an even greater obsession because he is hilarious and sweet and likable. I now find myself constantly rooting for him to succeed. I am like doing PR for him for free. It’s love.

Smurftastic - I'm least familiar w/ him, but I watched 5 mins of Castle last night and found him adorable/riveting. Plus he's apparently friends with NPH. TOTAL BONUS. And Canadian. Additional bonus. Sidenote - the two who I follow on twitter thusfar are Donny, Jordan, and Matthew, in case you care.

Smurftastic #6 - JC Chasez, formerly of the band NSYNC, currently of the show “America’s Best Dance Crew,” permanently of my heart. Well done, MTV, for taking a show I’d never watch otherwise (and probably actively avoid), and put the high school love of my life on it for brief moments. Well done, JC, for having a career beyond the solo albums, and being a pretty great producer these days. My love for JC was borne out of 2 things: 1 – when I discovered NSYNC, I didn’t want to pick Justin as my favorite, because EVERYONE liked Justin. Every so often, I crave originality. 2 – on my NSYNC *N The Mix VHS (which I still have, obvi) and the Disney In-Concert special, JC came off as the most educated about the art of music as well as about the industry. He plays piano and creates jazz/classical versions of some NSYNC songs. My heart partially melted. Heart fully FULLY melted when I saw the NSYNC edition of the old VHI show “Before They Were Stars,” and they show JC’s Mickey Mouse Club audition video. Pretty much the cutest thing ever when tween aged JC sings Richard Marx’s Right Here Waiting for You. Then came Disney Channel re-airing the Mickey Mouse Clubs on a “Where’d you MMC them first” weekend (Featuring Justin, Britney, Christina, JC, Ryan Gosling, Keri Russel, etc). Just. Awesome. Not to mention JC has the dark hair green/blue eyes thing going for him. That’s my fave. Pretty sure there isn’t anything he could do to make me not love him, especially after that part of their No Strings Attached Concert DVD where they sing Digital Get Down. If you’ve ever spent more than 2 hours in my apartment, you probably know what it is. I’ve shown it to you. If not, you’re missing out. Also he’s pretty good friends with Chace Crawford (Gossip Girl’s Nate) now. That’s a lot of hotness to be present together. Just saying.

KSquizz - Oh how I once loved J.C. Chasez. He was my love on MMC. In fact, as I was writing my Ryan Gosling paragraph I had a moment where I remembered J.C singing "Right Here Waiting for You." Adorable. He was my favorite NSyncer, too. And I also owned/constantly watched NSYNC in the Mix and the Disney Channel Concert Special. J.C. and I broke up though when he launched his solo career. "Some Girls Dance with Women" Oh, J.C. Terrible. Also, he took on a pretty douchey personality/personal style for awhile when he was dating Eva Longoria. I couldn't take it. But I loved him once

Smurftastic - I'm not denying the album wasn't great. But I did buy it, the day it came out. Still sometimes listen to it. I'd still hit it, terrible music and debateable douchiness included.

KSquizz #6 = Ryan Gosling – The person who cast the new Mickey Mouse Club should win some sort of award. Timberlake, Britney, Aguilera, Russell, and the baby goose. He was adorable on the show though admittedly I loved J.C. more as a child. (I know, I could have picked a little better but he was cute! [Ed note - offended]) Still there was no denying that RG was a cutie and he has managed to stay that way. He also turned out to be arguably the most talented actor the MMC produced. I don’t see Timberlake or Spears with any Oscar nominations on their resume. I always knew he had it in him when I was watching that miserable fake SBTB on a cruise ship he was on as a teenager. Yep, that’s right a teen comedy on a cruise ship. And I watched it. He really was THAT cute. Gosling increased his acting cred and slowly grew into a serious adult hottie in things like Remember the Titans and Murder by Numbers (playing a hot serial killer- a hot serial killer? I may need therapy.) He even bagged himself a cougar during the latter project. Somehow his dating Sandra Bullock made him hotter to me like he was learning stuff…mmm…anyway. If you did not want him after The Notebook, well, I don’t know what to do with you. He was romantic, funny, bad ass, also his body in that?!?!?!....all in all generally totally bone-able (bonable?). He even made scruff hot, and I generally am anti-scruff. Since then he has gone on to be in ridiculously good movies, earned himself the a forementioned Oscar nomination and dated Rachel McAdams (a girl crush of mine) twice, all while appearing incredibly down to earth, hard-working, and likable. Your move, Timberlake.

Smurftastic - Weird that this pick is the same number as JC, the other MMCer on the list. Loved BabyGoose on MMC, particularly when he did those fake news reports, and that time he sang in a quartet with Justin, JC and the random black kid who's name I don't remember. They were wearing beigey-white VERY baggy clothes and it was HOTTTT. Also love him in Remember the Titans. Refuse to watch the Notebook on principle, but ONLY saw Murder by Numbers because of him. True story. Also a true story, I thought he was the same dude as the son from "The Nanny." For several years. This is what the world was like before IMDB.
OH AND LOOK WHAT I FOUND!




Smurftastic #5 - Devon Sawa. Though my love for him has diminished in intensity as of late (cause he’s not in much anymore), I will always credit him for being the dude to lead me into my boy crazy/Tiger Beat phase. I remember when we were scheduled to watch Casper in 6th grade, all of my friends were like “OMG WAIT TILL YOU SEE DEVON HE’S SO DREAMY!” I, till that point, had chosen to look at those boy crazy Jonathan Taylor Thomas fans with disdain. I was better than them because I stuck with more admirable pursuits than putting posters on my wall [Ed note - like playing pogs]. That was up until the scene where Casper became a real, live, HOT boy, who swept both Christina Ricci and myself of our respective feet. To this day, if a boy ever legitimately whispered “Can I keep you?” in my ears, I might literally die. I’d for sure accept a wedding proposal that featured it, in case you care. I then was sucked into the Tiger Beat firestorm. Devon was everywhere on my walls (along with a few JTT, and lots of Jonathan Brandis, who would be on this list, but for the fact that he’s no longer alive, [Ed note - pause while I pour one out for my SeaQuest homie]). After Casper, Devon had a fabulous role as Scott Wormer in Now & Then, possibly my favorite movie of tween-hood. Also if you pause it at the exact right spot during the skinny dipping scene, you can see his man-business. Devon had other roles littered with kickassery in Idle Hands, Little Giants, and Final Destination. He is still working, with 2 movies set to be released in 2009. Also, according to his most recent IMDB bio photo, he has aged quite well. http://www.imdb.com/media/rm3402729728/nm0001701

KSquizz - I loved Devon, too. A lot. He was adorable in all those movies. I saw Wild America in the theater, the epic tween film featuring Devon, JTT, AND Brian Littrel's future wife. The last thing I remember him doing was playing "Stan" in Eminem's video. He was in kind of an unattractive awkward stage in it. Glad to see he has grown out of it.

KSquizz #5 = Mark-Paul Gosselar – No shock here. Every girl in her twenties should be in love with MPG. Zack Morris and his dyed locks (sad face that he isn’t a natural blonde) stole the hearts of little girls everywhere. He was outrageously hot and the character was amazingly lovable, which if you think about it, is a testament to MPG’s acting skills because Zack could have potentially been douche if played wrong. Unlike some other teen idols of the day (see the Joe Mac v. Jordan Knight Debate), Mark-Paul owned the hearts of every Saved by the Bell fan. Have you ever met someone who thought Slater was hotter? No. You haven’t because no one in their right mind could ever feel that way. I have seen every Saved by the Bell episode featuring Zack. College years, Hawaiian style (which I own on vhs), even his cameos on the new class. He definitely struggled a little post SBTB, which made it hard to stick with him, but I continued to root for his hotness to succeed. He did a very standard teen idol thing at the time and played a rapist who attacked Candace Cameron Bure and Six from Blossom in a tv movie that I am sure they still run on Lifetime. He was pretty good playing a non-Zack in Dead Man on Campus. He played a straight man who was a gay porn star on Law & Order SVU.Seriously. Finally, he seemed to rise above the rest of his Saved bythe Bell cast (deservedly so) to become a legitimate actor and an apparent muse of Steven Bochco. He was good on NYPD Blue. He was GREAT on Commander in Chief. He is some of the good that keeps Raising the Bar from being BAD. He also wins at life for coming to terms with SBTB and appearing IN CHARACTER as Zack Morris on Jimmy Fallon. Love! Finally, he is the only person on this list I have ever actually seen in person and he was totally awesome. Note: Raising the Bar is written/produced by a former professor from Smurftastic’s and my law school. They had a legit premiere of the show featuring a Q&A by MPG at the school. At the end, as he was being pushed out the door by his biotchy PR girl, he stopped to take a picture with me even though the PR chick had already told everyone no. He even grabbed someone to take the pic. A celebrity who appreciates that the fans are the reason you are famous. LOVE!

Smurftastic - sigh, he made my honorable mention - let's talk about MPG's visit to the school. I bought a new camera (henceforth known as Zack Morris camera), curled my hair, wore skinny jeans and heels, and anyone who knows me knows that getting me out of a hoodie and sneaks is a rare feat. I almost got into a car accident when my friend told me he was coming to the school. I then called no fewer than 10 of my friends and family to relay my excitement via screaming and lots of "OH MY GOD"s. Much like Ferris Bueller, Zack was a childhood hero. Unlike Ferris, I also lusted after him. I had a "SBTB Wedding in Las Vegas party" in Summer of 2008. I served champagne. I also watch Raising the Bar and think it is awesome. MPG, in my opinion, hotter with dark hair.

Smurftastic #4 - Harrison Ford. By far the elder statesman of this esteemed compilation, Harrison Ford grabbed my attention the very first time I saw Raiders of the Lost Ark. Sigh. He’s so dreamy. Then I saw Star Wars. Also dreamy (worse hair and fedora-less, but still dreamy). Both characters had a wit and disdain about them that I was extremely attracted to (chicks like mean D-bags, what can I say?). Harrison is yet another that has aged very VERY well, from the Fugitive through Air Force One. I’ll see pretty much anything he’s in (including Hollywood Homicide. In the theaters. On opening day. Shudder). Yes, I still think he is hot. I actually liked (though not as much as the previous 3) the new Indiana Jones’ movie. I am even willing to put up with the fact that he now has an earring and is engaged to Ally McBeal. I will love him forever. He is to me as Paul Newman was to my mom.

KSquizz - He is EPIC. He is starting to look a little old, but only justa little. I am VERY anti him and Callista though. Yick.

KSquizz #4 = Leonardo DiCaprio - Honestly, if he didn’t appear on this list it would be a shame, but he dropped a little bit from his original ranking. I, like so many, did love him as the adorable homeless kid Mike Seaver saves on Growing Pains. His character was essentially supposed to be the new likable Mike Seaver since Kirk Cameron decided to find God and lose evolution. And truly, Leo did it better. That is how you knew he was going to be huge. Though despite his best efforts (Gilbert Grape), he was dragged into the teen idol realm for a long time. I like so many other teenaged girls spent hundreds of dollars I wish I had back on teen magazines to paper the walls of my room with pictures of the Backstreet Boys, Nsync, and Leonardo Dicaprio. I saw Titanic for my 14th Birthday party. He was a legit, modern Beatle [Ed note - offended]. Liking Leo at that time was a guilty pleasure for me. I was actually mildly ashamed of it then because SO MANY people were obsessed with him, but still he graced my walls with excuses like “Oh well, he looks hot in that one so I hung it.” Meanwhile, I was watching Romeo and Juliet and Titanic and secretly hoping he would find me and, despite our 9 year age gap, want to marry me. I was a 15 year old judging myself for loving him. That’s how popular he was. But then he completely justified my love for him by making totally legit movies and becoming a hot man. Gangs of New York! Catch Me If You Can! The Departed!!!! Are you kidding me? !!! How awesome an actor do you have to be to steal scenes from Nicholson? Someone please give this man an Oscar! Also, the hottest he has ever been in a film. There are more, like Blood Diamond, and I am dying to see Shutter Island, but you get the picture. He rules. He is occasionally photographed with his hot foreign supermodel of the moment girlfriend appearing kind of chunky, but I can totally forgive him a belly. He is still ridiculously handsome. He is another one with great eyes. Add in the fact that my number one ultimate girlcrush, Kate Winslet, has professed her undying love for Leo as a person. Well, he gets continuous love from me, pretty much forever.

Smurftastic - Sigh... I never fully got on the Leo train. His hot/adorableness peaked for me on Growing Pains. I find him attractive, and incredibly talented, but I don't stalk. He's all yours.

Smurftastic #3 = Hugh Grant - Surprisingly, he's the only British or accented dude on my list. That is unexpected, as people with British, Irish, and/or Australian accents are better than regular people in almost all situations. Believe it or not, Hugh first arrived on my radar at around the same time the "picking up a hideous prostitute named Devine" scandal broke. Yet I stuck by him/continually defend him to my mother [Ed note - IT WAS 14 YEARS AGO, LET IT GO!]. Was it the floppy hair? Probably not, I like him better without it. The puppy dog droopy eyes? Maybe. The accent? Definitely had a part in it. But what keeps me coming back for more with good old Hugh is his biting wit, and the fact that he makes fun of pretty much everyone. That, and I think I’m secretly destined to marry a bumbling Brit. I even watched American Dreamz and found it less than horrific (Dennis Quaid certainly didn't hurt either). Hugh's early work (eg Four Weddings and a Funeral) is not my favorite of his, but his roles in 4 of my favorite movies EVER (Bridget Jones' Diary, About a Boy, Two Weeks Notice, and Love Actually) will keep him high atop my most dateable celebrities list from years to come. No matter how many times he "unretires" from acting or romantic comedies, I won't get frustrated. The man has an accent and a sense of humor. Plus he went to Oxford. He’s smart, and he doesn’t often deal with bullshit from the press. He's like my kryptonite, hooker loving or not. Plus, according to his Wikipedia page, he’s not dating anyone seriously. [Ed note - AHEM. Neither am I. AHEM.] On a creepy note… the look he gets in his eyes right before he’s about to have that perfect kiss with his leading lady at the end of his movies just might be the sexiest thing ever. EVER.

KSquizz - Hugh Grant is not my favorite. I actually would choose Colin Firth if I were living a real life Bridget Jones love triangle. However, his prime minister in Love Actually is adorable. I especially love his dance scene. And you can't go wrong with British accents.

Smurftastic - HAVE YOU SEEN COLIN FIRTH KISS A WOMAN IN THE MOVIES? AWKWARD. FACE. EATER. Otherwise, yeah he'd probably be on here. But he looks like a Disney Prince slash chiropractor.

Ksquizz #3 - Joshua Jackson. The Mighty Ducks may be the greatest children’s movie of all time. I think we can all agree that it is probably top 5. Say what you want about the sequels, I also love them. There are two reasons those movies stand the test of time with our generation: 1) Emilio, and 2) adorable little Joshua Jackson. Though my crush was firmly placed on Adam Banks in those movies, Charlie held a special place in my 9 year old heart. But Joshua Jackson’s career was not over and neither were his plays for my affection. Because Joshua Jackson is also Pacey Witter. That’s right, Super Hot, Smart Ass, Banging a Teacher, Kind of a Jerk, but with a heart of gold, PaceyWitter. He played the absolute perfect character for me to fall in love with as a teenager. If you were on Team Dawson while you watched Dawson’s Creek, I am judging you. Right now, judged. Even the writers ended up on Team Pacey! He got the girl!!! (In real life too,before Tom Cruise. Nice work, Josh.) Now, he is on Fringe which appeals to all my nerdy sensibilities and is pretty successful. I am pretty convinced Joshua Jackson is the new George Clooney. They have a similar look and attitudes. Funny, a little bit sneaky, and handsome. Check the poker scene in Ocean’s Eleven which they are both in, you will see it. Plus, both started out on a popular chick shows. Reappeared on popular prime time dramas. Soon Joshua will be a big time movie star with an Italian villa. You’ll see. And I will still love him then because ducks fly together.

Smurftastic - see my #1. I was on team Dawson, mainly because NO ONE DATES SPAZZWAY BUT ME. Also, back off. Because I will cut you for him.

Smurftastic #2 = Jordan Knight - Formerly and currently of New Kids on the Block (alias NKOTB). Jordan is by far the longest of my long term crushes, and has the honor of being the only guy on this list I owned a doll of (yes, I had the NKOTB dolls. Sometimes used for NKOTB fun, most often used as the male characters when I played Full House with my Barbies. Jordan was always Steve, because I wanted to be DJ). I picked him out of New Kids glory when I was 4 or 5 and my sister was the avid NKOTB fan. I believe the impetus was that Donny (at the time my favorite) had grown a rat-tail and Jordan got rid of his. I’m proud to have been anti rat-tail even in the late 80s before it was cool. Jordan’s falsetto has been melting my heart ever since. After NKOTB broke up, I felt something missing in my life… an emptiness. But Jordan came roaring back with the erotically charged “Give it to You” and a full solo album, and TOURED WITH NSYNC on the Boys of Summer Tour. Worlds colliding in the very very best way. More proof that he’s the one for me. He’s still adorable, can still dance, and still has mad pipes. NKOTB reunited in 2008, and reclaimed my heart. My love for Jordan clearly has legs and will be around for a long, long time. Someday I’ll simultaneously teach my children about the benefits of having “the Right Stuff” and the pitfalls of rat-tails.

KSquizz - Jordan was my favorite new kid, and he still is. I saw that boys of summer tour he did with NSYNC. I lost track of him though, I must admit. He has managed to remain pretty hot though. Good for him

KSquizz #2 = Gavin Rossdale. I know Gavin Rossdale is a rogue choice especially so high on the list, but he has been someone I have consistently lusted after since the 5th grade. And overall, I think he may be the absolutely hottest guy on this list. It definitely helps that he wrote and sang some of my favorite songs of my middle school career. I heard Swallowed on the radio the other day and blasted it as loud as it would go [Ed note - that's what she said]. Something about him is just sexier to me than most of the guys on this list. I am sure the musician thing is helping. I KNOW the British thing is helping. Accents are delicious. The fact that he hasn’t changed at all in the 15 years I have loved him probably helps. Additionally, I know he makes some adorable babies and is married to one of my all time girl crushes(which helps a dude’s cred on this list). He also doesn’t seem to mind at all that his wife is currently more famous than him. He just remains incredibly cool and chills with Roger Federer. I just LOVE Gavin. I really liked his last album, and I kept hoping for it to be huge commercially. I also keep hoping he will break out as an actor,which he may. He was really good as a demon in Constantine. I am even going to dvr his ass on Criminal Minds this season. I could make some dorky joke about my love for Gavin remaining the same, but I won’t. He is far too cool for that.

Smurftastic - He's cute, and British, I can't fault you for that. And that's all I have to say about that (she types while thinking in a Forrest Gump accent)

Smurftastic #1 - JOSHUA JACKSON. My love for Josh began in 1992 with a little movie called The Mighty Ducks. Charlie Conway skated into my heart as the somewhat bumbling, yet tender and passionate leader of a team of economically disadvantaged young hockey players. He made Gordon Bombay CARE about his team, and changed the face of motion pictures as we know it. Josh was back in D2 with a haircut that made him even cuter, and with D3, we got to see him grow before our very eyes. Joshua was the SOLE reason I started watching Dawson’s Creek, and the scene in the detention episode of the first season (see below) is one of my most treasured in television history. Throughout the shows run, I very rarely called him Pacey, instead referring to him as Charlie, even though Pacey was my favorite character. I passionately hated any woman he dated on the show, because IT SHOULD BE ME. He had some great roles in movies like Cruel Intentions, The Skulls, Bobby and Urban Legend, and returned to television in 2008 on the Fox show “Fringe.” Prior to Fringe, Joshua was my most frequently IMDBed actor, because I couldn’t wait to see what the Duck’s captain would come up with next. He is Canadian (bonus), and always plays rather witty characters. I love him. I will always love him. I will see pretty much anything he is in. He is currently dating Diane Kruger. I hate her. I don’t want to wait for our lives to be over before he falls in love with me. Will it be yes or will it be... sorry?

QUACK, QUACK, QUACK, QUACK GOOOOOOOOOO DUCKS!




KSquizz - Joshua Jackson almost overtook Gavin Rossdale to make it to my #2. Heis simply the new George Clooney. Mark my words!
Smurftastic - again, back off. I will cut you.


KSquizz #1 = DEREK JETER – Gavin lost his original spot as number one on this list when I decided that an athlete counted and that there is no person I have been devoted to as obsessively in my whole life as Derek Jeter. He first appeared as a Yankee in 1995, but his 1996 season was when I and the rest of the world took notice. I have loved him as a fan since he became the Yankees everyday shortstop, but he managed to cement that love by signing a personalized autograph to me when I was in 6th grade and spelled my name correctly without prompting. It doesn’t take much for a superstar to get a 12 year old to love him. Since then I have been envisioning scenarios where I would meet him and we would fall in love. At 15, I was still picturing him stopping baseball games in the 7th inning to propose. No lie. I still find myself plotting how I am going to get invited to a Turn 2 Foundation event, because that is all it will take, obviously. Derek and I have had our rough patches, particularly his dating of Mariah Carey and Jessica Biel- VOMIT. But we have managed to make it through. I am somehow dealing with rumors he is engaged to his new girlfriend. Some chick on Friday Night Lights who my boyfriend calls the hottest woman on television. I can deal as long as it isn’t Mariah, Madonna, or Kate Hudson. (Gross, A-rod. Gross.) What else is there to say? I mean, you may hate the Yankees, but there is no denying the man is hot. His skin is perfect. He has a great smile. He is an athlete so his body is sick, particularly his very nice ass. He has a solid relationship with his family. He is serious, but not so much that he won’t make a joke at his expense. He is also the epitome of class and professionalism in my favorite sport that has taken some really terrible blows the last few years. My level of obsession would probably frighten him in real life, but it is definitely the most serious long term celebrity crush I have had in my whole life. And it isn’t going anywhere.

Smurftastic - Non NYer here, but HE'S BEEN ON THE TEAM SINCE 95?!?!?!?!?!?!? Eesh, I am behind in the times. He's cute, proves funny at times, and is in commercials with Roger Federer. Plus he's not A-Rod, so he has that goin' for him. Me lusting after him would require me spending FAR too much time with Yankee fans to be worth it (no offense). Athletes are always respectable picks, nonetheless. In 1 year, David Beckham will be eligible to be on this list, and will most likley be added, so I see where you are coming from.
So that's it. Sorry it was so long, but we are passionate about our stalking. Let us know what you think and who your long term crushes are in the comments.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Dancing With The Stars... no live blogs, but some comments

So... we are into the final 7 of Dancing with the Stars. Lance is still in, thanks, I'm sure, in no small part to the fact that I vote for him multiple times per week... GO LANCE! Here are my thoughts on the season so far:
  • Cloris Leachman is ridiculous. Watching her was like watching a car accident, and not even one of the good ones. I get really sad when amazingly talented people are clearly losing it (being on DWTS would be a hint, I guess)... on a great note, watching her was like watching her character in Now & Then every week (the gambling grandma with a wig, remember?) Awesome.
  • Lance really has been making me feel bad about the fact that I always called him the worst dancer in NSYNC. Really. He has a legitimate complex about this, and I contributed to it. I must say, however, that I am a huge fan of he and Lacey. At first, I thought she was going to be too different and rebellious for the show, but she's good for Lance. GO LANCE GO! Him going home will be very depressing, perhaps almost to the level of when Steve Guttenberg went home.
  • Warren Sapp is awesome. It's great to see a big man make moves like that, and he's legitimately entertaining.
  • In the first episode, Kim Kardashian said she doesn't understand why she has terrible balance. If you don't immediately pick out the irony of that (huge ass), then you need to read celebrity blogs.
  • Not only did my Halloween costume foster my Hannah Montana addiction, but now I have to deal with Cody being with my favorite female dancer and being awesome? Ugh.
  • I have a girl crush on Brooke Burke.
  • Susan Lucci is awkward. She kind of gets the steps, but wow it looks odd.
  • Don't care that Toni Braxton went home, she's irritating
  • Huge fan of Michael Flatley as the backup judge... he's less douchey than Lou, and I can fast forward when he does dances that give me migraines.
  • I think Bruno would make a good pet. He's ridiculous, but I bet I could legally muzzle him when I wanted him to shut up.
  • It's too bad Misty May Treanor got hurt, she had some potential... but that was a great injury video with that crack. It makes the athletic trainer in me smiley.
  • I say more group dances. Watching Lance dance around in mullet wig while Susan Lucci legitimately tries to do a hip hop dance = what reality TV should be about. Plus Warren was being awesome more. I could handle a ballet group dance.... or a Broadway. It only ends well.

Smurftastics ideal final 3: Lance, Brooke, Warren

Smurftastic's predicted final 3: Brooke, Warren, Cody

Smurftastic's predicted winner: Warren

Audience members I hope to see: JC Chasez, Justin Timberlake, Miley Cyrus, Billy Ray Cyrus, Steve Guttenberg




Friday, October 17, 2008

I think I have an addiction...

So. I mean we all knew this was coming. Well maybe not me. Maybe everyone knew I was sick (especially after the BBCS). But I didn't. I thought it was under control. I mean... I can quit anytime I want. In fact, I did quit. Twice. Denial must be a symptom.
I mean I sometimes did it for the homage value, but not cause I really liked it. And I always made fun of it while I secretly loved it.
I have now realized that I cannot quit anytime I want. I am sick. I have an addiction. And since the first step is acceptance, here goes.

My name is Smurftastic, and I'm addicted to boy bands.

Phew. I got that off my chest. I am a 24 year old woman who hearts boy bands. I have hearted boy bands since I first listened to my sister's New Kids on the Block tapes. Then I suddenly became EXTREMELY anti-boy band. All through grade school and junior high, I was "too good" for boy bands. I liked "quality" music (apparently that sometimes meant crap like Limp Bizkit... but whatever). Stuff that the cool kids listened to. And while I would NEVER give up that period of my life (I mean it introduced me to the Beatles, after all...) it's not me.

All it took was 1 Disney Channel In Concert Special and a summer in a new town where I had only 1 friend (who was obsessed) to suck me right back in. And that is when NSYNC entered my life. And made it infinitely better. First concert I ever went to... NSYNC. I may have cried. I know I peed at least 10 times before the show because I was so excited. I even had a sign. A crazy fan threw a Chris Kirkpatrick pin at my head. I think i might still have it somewhere.

Boy band obsession then came full circle (or so I thought). Jordan Knight opened for NSYNC during their "Boys of Summer" tour. Yes, they took my "New Kids forever" sign away from me (but that was really just for ironic purposes, right?) but I still had a fabulous time and thought I was a winner as a 15 year old who knew both NSYNC and NKOTB... and even felt superior to those poor 8 year old girls who didn't know NKOTB. Seriously. Judged them for not understanding the history. Well the rest of high school is self explanatory. 3 more NSYNC concerts, a Backstreet Boys concert, an Aaron Carter concert (seriously), and a 98 Degrees and a 5ive CD. By that point, my mother could name all members of NSYNC including their middle names (with a little prodding, she can still do it).

Then, as soon as it started, it ended. Justin went solo. JC tried. Lance acted. I moved on. Sure, when I'm sad, nothing brings me up like a good NSYNC song... and when I'm excited, they're good too. And yes, I have been known to do the full on dances in public (preferably bars or at karaoke)... but it was an homage to my past, right? Just recognizing where we came from? I got more into country music. And rap. And classic rock. And 90s rock that I missed out on while being obsessed with boy bands. I was expanding.

And then. And then. The reunion tour was announced. THE reunion tour. New Kids on the Block... of course. I fully intended to go but it was "for humor value only" and because "I owed it to 2nd grade Smurftastic", etc. I thought I was totally over it when I watched their premiere video and laughed my head off at how ridiculous it was. I thought I was too grown up. And then, and then... I went to the concert. Before the show, I was excited, but it was the kind of excited that is like "I can't believe I'm actually doing this..." not "OMFG IF JORDAN KNIGHT SMILES IN MY GENERAL DIRECTION I WILL PEE MY PANTS!" I recognize that they have kids and are grown up. I'm technically grown up. I get there and laugh at the old ladies in puffy painted T-shirts and intend to drink to get through it if they play too many new songs instead of the old stuff.
And then something in me changed. As I saw Jordan, Joey and the others up there I stopped laughing hysterically and started smiling and giggling. And the beast was awakened. Texts were sent declaring "THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE" and I took more pictures than would fit in a standard facebook album. I jumped up and down and clapped. I screamed a little. I am 24. The worst part... 5 days later, I purchased their new album.
I, Smurftastic, own the 2008 New Kids on the Block CD release. And it's not a greatest hits album (I already owned that one). It's ALL NEW. First time I listened to it, I thought it was the worst crap... ever. Now, just a few weeks later... I love it. I can't help it. I know it's "bad" music. I know there is a song that literally makes a Baby, Swayze, Dirty Dancing reference. But I love it. I could sing most of it right now.

When I went home last weekend for Homecoming it really came to my attention that I have a problem. It was the moment when I made my mom listen to the CD in the car on the way home from the airport. Her response was "Wow, this is really boy-bandy. Like really." My response, "No, no it's not... it's... it's..." My mom gently says "I thought you grew out of this."

I didn't. I didn't and now I realize that it's not my fault. I love boy bands. My all time favorite band was technically a boy band (The Beatles, duh), and the oldies I like are mostly boy bands (Jackson 5, the Monkees, etc...). Why had I not seen it? Is it genetic? Is this curable? Is there rehab? Support groups? Am I the only one with this affliction? How do I get rid of it? Do I even want to? I had some hard times after my realization, and then realized, as long as it doesn't run my life, I can handle it.

Tonight, my friends, tonight, I'm starting to wonder whether or not I can handle it. Now, although I am a boy-band fan, I consider myself a boy-band snob. There are good boy bands, and there are boy bands that are complete shit - devoid of the talent and the producing and writing needed to make something good. Like O-town. They were awful. I mean I have a song or two of theirs, but only because they were ridiculous (sound familiar?). I was anti-Hanson until they came out with the "This Time Around" album... which had some good songs... but I was never a fan of MmmBop. Throw something as obvious as "Boyztown" at me and I will judge you, and possibly punch you. At least try to disguise it. Honestly.

Tonight, I realized I am not as "high brow" as I thought. A Friday night at home and I get bored with my Netflix date for the night and decide to research my Halloween costume. I am going as Hannah Montana (most likely)... but have never seen a single one of her shows or heard one of her songs. No harm no foul, right? Have to make sure the costume is accurate, right? This RAPIDLY progresses to watching every single Jonas Brothers video on YouTube... just to see what the fuss is about, right? "Wow this is awful!" I say, while I watch another video and buy another song from iTunes. And now, and now, I HEART a few of their songs. But their songs aren't that good... But here's the weird part... I don't really think they are hot (I guess that's good because that means I'm not a pedophile...), but if their songs aren't good and they aren't hot and they don't dance... why am I listening?

Well, here it is, I think. I like dudes that sing like girls. There, I said it. I think it's so when I sing along, they are in my range. Girl artists get too high for me, and deep voiced dudes go too low. Also, I find 5-part harmonies soothing. They put me at peace. Hence, NSYNC and NKOTB are my favorite boy bands of the modern boy-band era. Also, choreography is fun. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

The obsession may sleep again, but I need to be prepared that it will surface again. After all, NSYNC is still under contract for 3 more albums. And by then, maybe I can be one of those 30-something women peeing themselves at a boy-band concert. A girl can dream, right?

Wow. I'm glad I got that off my chest. Acceptance is the first step to recovery. But can you recover if you don't want to?

Sunday, September 28, 2008

An homage to classic hotness and real movie stars

So I'm a little tired, cause I stayed up late to watch the Bears' victory over the Eagles, but I wanted to acknowledge the loss of one of the greatest movie stars. Ever. Paul Newman died on Saturday, of lung cancer (HINT, if lung cancer can take someone that awesome down, it can probably take you down)... In my range of hotties, he was the upper echelon, age-wise. Now Harrison Ford will have to take the top spot. But Newman deserves to be honored, because he made great movies, and, I'm told, great spagetti sauce. Plus my mom and sister met him once. RIP Paul... you'll be missed. And now for the eye candy:


Sunday, September 21, 2008

60th annual Emmy Awards - live commentary

60th annual Emmy Awards:

At thins point, we all know that I’m obsessed with awards shows. Even better than regular awards shows are awards shows that honor some kind of big anniversary. Like 60 years of the Emmys. Why are they awesomer? MORE MONTAGES. Montages of the past… featuring big stars and great shows. Some of which we may have forgotten about. So in anticipation of many montages to come ahead, let’s get this Emmy commentary started. Will also be featuring rando comments from my sister.

The hosts make their first appearance after an intro by Oprah (who, my sister and I agree, looks huge)– all 5 reality show host nominees. All wearing suits. Even Heidi Klum. Jeff Probst isn’t wearing a tie. C’mon man. Even Heidi’s in a tie. Lame. Howie Mandel’s “soul patch” is RIDICULOUS. He’s really fallen off since Bobby’s World. And by fallen off, I mean that was the only decent thing he’s ever done. Oh god, in talking about Klum wearing something not slutty, William Shatner of course comes on stage to strip her. Ugh. I’m pretty anti Shatner, namely because he’s so overexposed.

First award presented by Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. She is super cute pregnant. Award is best supporting actor in a comedy. I would like to see this one go to Rainn Wilson or Neil Patrick Harris. They are just SO AMAZING. Stinson over Dwight though. Well, goes to Jeremy Piven. Again. He’s awesome on Entourage, and a personal inspiration to me… but he just doesn’t make me laugh out loud like NPH and Dwight do. Barney Stinson is my personal hero. Ari is just my professional hero.

Getting pretty excited about Josh Groban performing 30 of television’s theme songs. I can’t even begin to guess what all they’ll have.

Now best supporting actress in a comedy series: I’d like to see this one go to Amy Poehler or Jean Smart… mainly cause those are the only two whose shows I’ve seen. Jean Smart gets it… she is hilarious on Samantha Who. I love her. I wish I watched that show more, cause every time I’ve seen it I’ve really enjoyed it.

Ads for David Blaine’s new stunt… it’ll either be his best stunt, or his last. Let’s hope it’s his last. Not that I want him to die, I just want him to stop living.

Women’s montage! YES! Nope, that was a trick… just Desperate Housewives. Best supporting actor in a Drama. I’d like to see this go to Ted Danson or John Slattery, just because he’s awesome. I don’t watch any of the shows with actors nominated, but Damages and Mad Men are the only two I’d actually like to see.

Ricky Gervais… hilarious. Again proving my point that British people are better than regular people. And mocking his American counterpart, Carrell… well done to keep a straight face. I’m impressed, Michael Scott.

Conan slams Katherine Heigl. Love it. I’m hoping the best supporting actress in a drama award goes to Chandra Wilson from Greys. She’s way better than Sandra Oh and on the only show I watch. Dianne Wiest gets it. I love her, because she was in Footloose. Well done.

COLBERT REPORT gets its first writing award. Couldn’t be more thrilled. I heart Colbert.

Steve Martin has aged well. As has Tommy Smothers.

Is it really necessary for Josh Groban to change his voice for each theme song? Weird. MR. ROGER’S NEIGHTBORHOOD! Yess… He did a great job with South Park though. He actually sounded like Cartman. BAYWATCH! YES! AND FRESH PRINCE! This may be the greatest thing I’ve ever experienced! Wow… Ed MacMahon doesn’t look good. Losing your house must be rough. Can’t believe he didn’t sing Cheers. That is too bad. And I officially just downloaded the theme song to Baywatch. I judge myself.

Baldwin is wearing Tina Fey Glasses kind of. He looks a bit like Harry Carey too… weird. Outstanding Actress in miniseries – should go to Laura Linney… mainly cause she’s awesome. Good call, me, good call.

Outstanding musical, comedy or variety series – I hope this goes to Colbert or Daily Show. This Laugh-in lead in is a little long… Daily Show gets it… well deserved, but I still favor Colbert.
I’m pretty offended that Lauren Conrad is allowed on stage at the Emmys… but Guest actor/actress for comedy series… I think I want it to go to Will Arnett and Carrie Fisher or Elaine Stritch. But I was wrong.

Martin Sheen! I love that man, and not just because he brought Emilio Estevez into the world. He wants us to vote. I was planning on it, but thanks for the reminder.

Grey’s anatomy cast – Sandra Oh looks so much better in person than on the show. I would pay money to run my hands through Patrick Dempsey’s hair.

John Adams wins for best miniseries. I kind of wish I watched this, it was supposed to be awesome… I just don’t know if I have the energy/time for a historical miniseries.

NPH appearance! And he mocks Howie! I knew I loved him. Another nomination for Colbert – individual performance… I think he deserves this. Though Stewart was awesome on the Oscars. And Don Rickles wins. The old people always beat out my Stephen.

Kate Walsh makes an appearance. I have a total girl-crush on her. And love her new haircut.

Paul Giamatti totally snubs his real wife. Though I’d thank Laura Linney above her too. Wifey looked pissed, though.

Alec Baldwin wins for best comedic actor. Though I’d have preferred Steve Carrell… I love Jack Donaghy in 30 Rock. He’s awesome.
Dead people montage: If they leave out Roy Scheider again, I’m gonna be pissed. DUDE HE WAS REJECTED AGAIN. THAT’S IT MAN. IF OSCARS FORGET HIM, I’M WRITING A LETTER. SEAQUEST WAS ON TV. IT WAS A GREAT SHOW. FOR 3 WHOLE SEASONS! LAME!

Glad that a smaller show won for best lead actor in a drama… mainly because it’s not James Spader. Enough with Boston Legal already. Tina Fey wins for 30 Rock. God that’s a great show. I think I’m developing a girl crush on Tina Fey.

Best Reality Show host – Jeff Probst. Makes sense, he’s the original. Betty White is eerily similar to my grandma.

Tom Selleck appearance: My sister “Tom is still hot”. Me “I would totally do him.” Mad Men wins. I officially resolve to start watching that show. All in all, a decent Emmy awards. Great leadup to the biggest TV premiere week of the season. Can’t wait. Sorry this wasn’t that exciting of a blog, but I’m pretty tired/distracted by baking cookies for DJ Victorious’ birthday. Have a good one!

DANCING WITH THE STARS STARTS TOMORROW! GO LANCE!

Monday, July 21, 2008

ESPY awards commentary

So by now we are all aware of my love of awards shows. And my love of sports. And my love of NSYNC. What better way to celebrate such things than to watch the ESPY awards and share my thoughts with you. Get. Excited.

I'm already loving this because the images are giving me the chills. And my apartnemt is hot as balls. AWESOME.

So the Brett Favre retirement videos... don't you think they should have changed it since he's most likely coming back now? Nnot that I mind... cuase he's hot... but still.

AND JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE COMES OUT TO THE 90s CHICAGO BULLS ENTRANCE MUSIC... amazing!!!!!!

Oh Patriots zing... pretty lame. But the Kobe-Shaq double zing was respectable. HAHAHAHAHA mocking Eli for being lame and finally seeing a woman naked = awesome. Justin may have been flirting with David Beckham. I think I might be a bit turned on.

First award. Danica Patrick presents. Her hair looks like shit. Best upset award - if it ISN'T Appalachian State... I hate everyone. OK... the NY Giants win for the Super Bowl. Obviously the best Super Bowl I have ever witnessed, but compared to App State, it wouldn't be the same unless like the CFL beat the Patriots. Or a Pop Warner team. And if I hated the Patriots nearly as much as I hate Michigan. D bags.

So Favre is making jokes about coming back. I'm starting to genuinely feel bad for Aaron Rodgers... even though he's in no way as hot as Favre.

Oh god. JT is about to sing a song with Greg Oden on piano. Damn you Buckeyes... but this has potential to be ridiculous. The song is obviously inappropriately cheesy... then he strips down and goes all Billy Crystal and sings about what happens... OH HOCKEY REFERENCE! And he mocks Jessica Simpson. AGAIN. Not as good asw the SNL edition... but awesome. Referencing Janet Jackson's boob. This is really lame. I'm bored.

OK WHY IS TOM CRUISE NARRATING THE TOMMIE SMITH JOHN CARLOS BLACK POWER SALUTE MONTAGE? Other than Michael Richards, I really can't think of anything more ridiculous. Big ups to the Forrest Gump theme as soundtrack... I approve.

Tyree's Lord and Savior Jesus Christ won the SuperBowl. Obvi.

OK I'm giving up on this live blog. It is lame. WAIT DAVID BECKHAM IS TALKING!!!!! OK I'm bored again. Later.

UPDATE: I definitely started to cry when Kevin Everett came on stage to accept the Jimmy V award of perseverence... Wow... I know I say it a lot... but that guy actually for real pisses intensity. No lie. Big ups. I am inspired. What a champ.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

A rant on... Superbowl Halftime Shows

Because we here at SomePeopleKnit like to keep up on current events, and the outcome of the game is being exhausted by people who know much more about football than I do, I’d like to take a moment and discuss what many people really care about during the Superbowl (besides the commercials, which have sucked a lot lately anyways). That’s right. The Halftime show – this year, starring one of Smurftastic’s favorite bands, Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers.

Diligent Internet research (or like 5 minutes and a google search worth), informs me that popular musical artists only became a regular staple of the Halftime shows in 1988. Prior to that, they used marching bands and large choral groups. Everyone likes marching bands at football games right? My research has led me to one overall question… Why do the superbowl organizers consistently pick music that in NO WAY goes with the mood of the game at all?

For example, my personal favorite in randomness… in 1992, the Halftime show starred Gloria Estefan, Brian Boitano, and Dorothy Hamill. Please take a moment and let that sink in. I’ll wait and look at this gratuitously hot picture of Tom Brady...



Yeah. Cuban music and ice skating, hmmm? That’s clearly what fat drunk people eating chili really want to see in the middle of a game. That kind of performance probably isn’t even bringing in the female viewers. I’ll be honest, Boitano is NOT hot enough to draw women into watching the game. I'm assuming that even with a full box of Franzia under my belt, he’s still not doing it for me. (In case you were worried... Tom and Eli, you succeed, but that’s not the point). Other combos that somehow just don’t scream football for me – 1995: Patti LaBelle, Tony Bennett, Arturo Sandoval, Miami Sound Machine; 1998: Boyz II Men, Smokey Robinson, Martha Reeves, Temptations, Queen Latifah; and 2000: Phil Collins, Christina Aguilera, Enrique Iglesias, Toni Braxton.

Please bear in mind that I am in NO WAY criticizing the quality of these artists (I do enjoy me some Phil Collins)… simply their lack of conduciveness to football games. I want some classic rock, maybe some country… something badass that gets you fired up to hit people. Not something that gets me fired up to salsa dance or Jr. High style-slow dance.

Another issue with Superbowl Halftime shows which sometimes turns out awesome, and other times confusing and awkward are the combinations of artists asked to perform on the same stage. The one that to me sticks out as the most random (excluding where the co-performers are ice skaters, of course) in 2003, when Shania Twain shared the stage with No Doubt. I hardly remember this performance, so it probably wasn’t that good. More randomness? In 1999, the performers were Stevie Wonder, Gloria Estefan, and Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. The Superbowl seems to LOVE Gloria Estefan. No recollection of this performance at all, so I’m gonna go with awkward and/or not good.

One random collaborative performance that I absolutely LOVED (yeah, this is gonna be obvious) – when NSYNC shared the stage with Aerosmith. You can watch it at http://youtube.com/watch?v=Xcy5e-23-vs. Special guests in this performance were Britney Spears (yes, pre-crazy, but you think you’d be able to foresee it cause she wears a sock on her arm, and look for her to trip and then instant camera cut away, hilarious), Nelly (who didn’t sing the same song as everyone else, which was Walk This Way, but instead just did a quick set from one of his songs, to his own beat, while the other song was going on = ridiculous/amazing), and Mary J. Blige (whatever… never really got into Mary J. Sorry). MTV presented this Halftime show, obviously. Also there is a decently funny opening scene with Ben Stiller as the “Pageant Piston” halftime show coordinator, Adam Sandler as DJ Stanley Steemer, and Chris Rock being himself. What I like about this performance is it was over the top, as good Superbowl Halftime Shows should be, but each major artist stuck to their own songs and did what they do best. They melded together well enough, so it was more of a full performance as opposed to 2 separate bands performing. Plus, I like the idea of NSYNCOSmith and AeroSYNC. Sidenote – JC’s gold pants = HOT, as is Justin w/ the pyrotechnic gloves. I could have done without Aerosmith singing Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing… sorry it’s just not intense. But I loved Jaded when it was big.


As far as random combinations go, the national anthem performance halftime combo usually always succeeds at being random as well. The year of NSYNCOSMITH, Backstreet Boys opened the game. And sucked (obviously). It was awkward, yet I found it hilarious. Greatest combo which I have officially decided is the greatest musical Superbowl of all time – 1991: Whitney Houston in the warm up suit for national anthem. Halftime show by New Kids on the Block. WOW. I was only 6 when it happened, but I bet it was awesome. I wish I could remember it. Other good combos – 1993 – Garth Brooks opens, Michael Jackson Halftime, and 1994, when Natalie Cole opened and the Halftime show was Clint Black, Tanya Tucker, Travis Tritt, Wynonna & Naomi Judd. Also, shoutout to national anthem 1995 singer, Kathie Lee Gifford. Remember her? Moment of silence for her career (and to admire Eli Manning)...




OK, because I feel it has to be said, some thoughts on the Janet/JT nipple incident. I did not enjoy this for several reasons – a) the performance wasn’t that good to begin with, b) her nipple ring was TERRIFYING, and c) this issue led to the end of really huge halftime shows. The networks are really into playing it safe now. Big ups to Paul McCartney who put on a great show in ’05. Rolling Stones and Prince were OK in the following years, but it just didn’t have the same kind of pizzazz. Hopefully Tom Petty can up the intensity this year. And a suggestion for National Anthem singers? Let's keep it random. I want the Spice Girls. British Girl Power celebrating America? Oh yeah.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

CMA Awards Recap!

So tonight was one of my favorite nights of the years since the move to the Jers. What is it you ask? Well it's the Country Music Association Awards. Oh yeah. Viva la country. I love it even more than I used to because I get negative country exposure here. Here are some of my thoughts on the show and the winners.

  1. FINALLY a loss for Brooks and Dunn for duo of the year. No offense to B&D... BUT you've won for like 29 years in a row. And all your songs sound the same. Seriously. We all loved Boot-scootin' boogie... but we didn't need to hear it with different words 346 more times. Congratulations to Sugarland, who despite having an overplayed first single... are a GREAT band. Check them out.

  2. Rascal Flatts need to get some better earpieces. They sounded like shit in both songs. Even though they are great live (I should know, I've seen them 4 times...) the harmonies tonight were PAINFUL. They also do a song w/ Jamie Foxx... who used to be roommates with the lead singer. RANDOM.

  3. Carrie Underwood is fabulous. Were it not for the fact that she used to date Tony Romo, she would be perfect. Her new album is great, her old album was outstanding, she is unbelievably gorgeous, and she wins awards. If I didn't love her so much, I'd hate her.

  4. Lots of American Music Awards ads. of all the performances at the AMAs... the only ones i'd actually watch for are Duran Duran and Rascal Flatts... I feel as though I should judge myself.

  5. Kenny Chesney was not wearing skin tight pants. Oddly unsettling. I can't decide how I feel about it. Still entertainer of the year, always a great choice. His concerts are amazing, and his albums have good sing-a-long potential.

  6. Dierks Bentley is unbelievably hot. Like PHENOMENALLY HOT. I was pretty sad when he cut off his sexy curly hair in his "Long Trip Alone" video. But he looked GREAT with the buzz cut. And now its growing out. OH MY GOD. Also he has a great voice and is amazing on tour. Oh and I met him once. And he said I was nice. Oh yeah.

  7. Male vocalist of the year - Brad Paisley. Writes great comedic songs, and also heart wrenchers. Probably the most talented guitarist I've ever seen in my life. Oh and he's married to the daughter from Father of the Bride. Bonus.

  8. Dwight Yoakum was wearing a rhinestone jacket and leather pants which are tighter than my going out jeans. He is at least over the age of 45. YIKES.

  9. The Eagles may be old balls... but DAMN are they a great band. I am buying their greatest hits album... NOW.

  10. I hate that Jersey or NYC does not have a country station. I know there are rednecks here. I've seen them. What do they listen to?
  11. If you have a penis, there is a 50% chance that Miranda Lambert will kill you. See also - I'm goin' home, gonna load my shotgun, Wait by the door and light a cigarette, If he wants a fight well now he's got one, And he ain't seen me crazy yet. Hell. I don't have a penis, and I'm scared.

All in all... there were twice as many performances as awards... which makes a great show. Country music is awesome. Here is Dierks. YUM.